The January 20 four-million Obamatard march, otherwise known as “Inauguration Day,” will combine the fun of being stranded outside during an ice storm with the excitement of being killed by the homeless or maybe the Army as Barack Obama is safely sworn in at a secure, warm location with plenty of fancy food and cocktails. And because it’s all happening in Washington, D.C., you can bet the public services and coordination will be top-notch! MORE »

There’s only one thing America loves more than a tragic random shooting: the made-for-TV movies, wall-to-wall Greta Van Susteren coverage, novelized accounts, and inexpensive action figures that follow these embarrassingly frequent incidents. If you are one of the creepy losers who made a little scrapbook about the Virginia Tech shooting that you leaf through when To Catch A Predator goes to commercial break, you can probably answer the questions in this quiz. Otherwise, congratulations, you still may get laid this century. [MSNBC]

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One great thing about the Internets is that the kind of idiot conversations once limited to the immediate vicinity of old crackpots wearing overalls and sitting outside the gas station (in 1932) are now available for the entire world to read and loathe. Here’s something cute from the Rush Limbaugh discussion group: MORE »