massachusetts
Mitt Romney has a thing (one) he has stood firm on, and that is that he is against gay marriage. Sure, there was a time as governor of Massachusetts when he managed to be on both sides of the issue simultaneously, both directing his administration to comply with state judges’ “Goodridge” ruling allowing gays to [...]
Everybody’s super favorite (not kidding) schoolmarm/Senate candidate, Elizabeth Warren, has had a rough week. She did not have a good answer to why she used to say she was Native American. (To us, “our family always thought we were,” which is true, they did, was a waaay better answer than what she eventually came up [...]
Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown is just a regular guy — a virile human bear rug of a man, ridin’ in his pickup and bein’ a Joe. He also has six houses, which is so many houses it is almost as many as John McCain’s (which were so many he couldn’t remember) and twice as many [...]
Naked Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has heroically offered his diplomacy services in bringing to a close the bitter century-old rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, in the form of a $2,500 contribution from despised Yankees president Randy Levine to Scott Brown’s reelection campaign: “We’re happy to accept Randy Levine’s donation,” [...]
Following a first-quarter fundraising haul in which she doubled sexy human bear rug Scott Brown’s take, everyone’s favorite plainspoken Minnesota Girl Scout troop leader Harvard professor/US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is just cold clicking “forward” on Brown’s latest sad fundraising email and sending it on to all her supporters, while doubled over laughing. Penalty! Penalty! [...]
RomneyExposed.com has shockingly RomneyExposed Mitt Romney and how he personally gay married every queer in Boston, because Mitt Romney hates Jesus.
Abdominal hero Scott Brown, who is fighting the good fight against a Democratic woman in Massachusetts over who is nicer to women, is now getting support from an unlikely ally, outgoing existential philosopher Olympia Snowe, who says that Brown is great and stuff. Brown knows how to balance on the slippery balance beam of centrism, [...]
Hello. What are you doing? It’s time to figure out what some quadrilateral land masses think about three organic masses and one gas, which were each forced to apply for Obama’s job because their tyrannical wives and gas-wife made them. We would say, We are watching this very closely, but that would be plagiarism, so [...]
Political pundit people have been enjoying the idea that Mitt Romney has a “John Kerry problem.” After all, both Romney and Kerry are rich white establishment politicians — just like most politicians, on Earth. Political pundits love easy comparisons like that. But John Kerry took a break from whatever he does these days to say [...]
Every inhabitant in the entire solar system and possibly as far away as the alternate universe where Rick Santorum becomes the American president has now heard the story about wingnut Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu trying to deport his secret illegal Mexican gay lover, but did you know that this was only one of two insane [...]
The Massachusetts Senate race between Democrat and Harvard professor Elizabeth Warren and Republican Senator Scott Brown kind of did the opposite of heat up Monday, with both the candidate and incumbent saying very lovely, faux-humble things about how they hope to compete on the basis of their own ideas (money) rather than the ideas (money) [...]
Hey, everyone remember that weird attack ad Karl Rove’s sweatshop of joyless video editor-slaves at Crossroads GPS slapped together a few weeks ago accusing Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren of hating “job creation” because she, um, sympathized with the concerns of the unemployed and Occupy Wall Street? Yeah, so: how well has this strategy worked [...]
How do you prove you hate “job creation” in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The ad was created by Karl Rove’s anus Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies, some wingnut consulting firm that [...]
Taxes! They are necessary! Which is exactly the sort of thing a socialist Harvard law professor like Elizabeth Warren would say, for socialism, but the kids on the Internet are going wild over this video of newly-minted Massachusetts Senate candidate Warren explaining why it is evil for greedy millionaires to complain about taxes that support public [...]
Massachusetts has discovered a new place to try to hunt down its wanted criminals: the Rhode Island state legislature! It seems kind of obvious in retrospect, only because the Ocean State is kind of a sad, drug-addled dump from what we hear. Rep. Daniel Gordon Jr. was arrested in Rhode Island for failing to appear in Massachusetts [...]
