maryland
Anti-Obamacare Congressman Angry His Healthcare Won’t Start Right Away
Andy Harris is an anesthesiologist and newly-elected Republican member of Congress from Maryland who ran on an anti-health-care-reform platform, but at an orientation yesterday, he got VERY ANGRY that the government will not provide him with free health care instantly after being sworn into office in January. The government is ruining our nation’s health by [...]
Maryland Muslim Politician Worships a Rat!
Did you know that this is the summer of the mosque? So says important daily journalism product The Washington Post, because of a zoning debate in a city several hundred miles away from where the Post’s subscriber base is centered. Naturally, the best way for them to exploit this summer theme for massive readership was [...]
Which Political Side Attacked Discovery Channel?
BREAKING NEWS: That crazy guy who was maybe strapped with a bomb and took hostages in the Discovery Channel headquarters in Silver Spring was shot (UPDATE: and killed) and all the hostages are safe. Hooray! His name is James Lee, and he protested there a lot, and one time he threw thousands of dollars in [...]
Sarah Palin Tries To Make Maryland Gubernatorial Election Interesting
Sarah Palin knows that one of the things that makes modern America great is that we don’t abide losers, especially when it comes to politics. Once you’ve lost, you should just get the hell out and go home, because America is bored with you (unless you lost as a running mate, obviously). Really, how did [...]
Washington Post Readers Have Opinions About New Maryland License Plates
Important Washington Post person Ashley Halsey III found some online poll on the paper’s website, and the results are apparently worth an article: PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE THIS WAR OF 1812 MARYLAND LICENSE PLATE DESPITE THEIR ALLEGED PATRIOTISM.
THIS IS WHY WE NEED A BLOGGERS UNION FOR CHRIST’S SAKE: Now this is interesting, isn’t it. From Maryland politics blogger Adam Pugnacco: “Five weeks ago, I received an unsolicited offer from the Washington Post. They asked if they could post my picture and biography on their website and link to every new blog post [...]
GOOD NEWS FOR MARYLAND! To your editor’s fellow Maryland natives, as well as current residents and people who simply care about Maryland politics for some reason: he’s ba-ack! Ex-Gov. Bobby Ehrlich — an asshole and born-again wingnut radio host — looks like he’s going to run against Gov. Martin O’Malley this year, in an Epic [...]
Michael Steele May Quite Possibly Have Gone Rogue
Oh jesus christ, we think Michael Steele may have finally pushed himself into a position where firing becomes a near-future possibility, but what the hell do we know? It’s been quite a day for Steele, “the black Barack Obama.” First he canceled an ABC interview at the last minute. Reports came in that there was [...]
Maryland Politician Proposes To Lady During ‘Mock Police Raid,’ Wastes Valuable Public Resources
United States Senator Ben Cardin of Maryland has a nephew in politics! You knew this. But did you know that said nephew, state delegate Jon Cardin, is a tacky dingbat who should probably resign after diverting scarce police resources from MURDER INVESTIGATIONS to his dumb boat for the purpose of scaring his girlfriend into marrying [...]
REGARDING THE FAT DUMB SWANS OF MARYLAND: This is the only important news story of the day, or year: “Everyone loves swans in Maryland! They’re very pretty. But some of them are mute! Those ones… well they are not so pretty and must be killed immediately… That means shooting adults or snapping their necks, and [...]
Big John’s From TEXAS, Where Rush Limbaugh And Newt Gingrich Are Criticized Every So Often
After abdicating, benign boner George W. Bush spent his days quietly playing Guitar Hero and landing juice box endorsements. But Jesus had different plans for Archdick Cheney. [Off The Grid] Amber Alert! Thousands of peeling, morbidly obese millionaires have been abducted in Maryland. Consult with your milk carton, leave no yacht barnacle or dead hooker [...]
The Blue Crabs Also Want You To Know They Listened To Better Music Than You
There is a blue crab baby boom, in the Chesapeake! These baby boomer crabs are distinctive for sporting blue “aprons” around their midsection and for their affinity for waxing nostalgic about Saturday Night Live episodes that aired between 1975-1979. [Washington Post]
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