Hey, well-regulated militia, how’s the responsible gun ownership going lately? If we’re doing a Gun Roundup, seems like we’re pretty much required to start with Florida, so here’s a story of a Responsible Gun Owner protecting his life from someone who threatened his rightful place on the road: On Friday, 83-year-old Mario Perez-Tano was stopped […]

Some patriot got wind that an empty Army Reserve warehouse in Westminster, Maryland, might be used to temporarily house children from the Texas border, and so they did their best to save America. From children. Because obviously, Barack Obama is flooding the country with unaccompanied children so they can all vote Democratic. This is just […]

Thanks to Snipy staying up late so we could post the results of the one election yesterday that everyone was following (Mississippi: the Old Guy won, the other asshole lost), we are left with tidying up the electoral crumbs from around our great nation. Of course, Chris McDaniel is still making grumpy whining noises about […]

We only started to pay attention to exciting new minor league wingnut Michael Peroutka a few months ago when he explained how evolution was against the Constitution. Little did we know that he is running (as a Republican, natch) for office in Anne Arundel County, Maryland. In fact, as of late Tuesday, he’s leading the […]

Holy crap, 2016 fundraising is rough, especially if you are a Democrat not named Hillary Clinton. How rough? Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley spent the weekend engaging in his most aggressive push for campaign cash yet, and his office refuses to release how much he raised. What was his tactic? Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley (D), who […]

As a Bible-believing Christian, you’re no stranger to outrage. Only now you’re outraged at yourself. It started with that excellent Arizona bill to protect Godly businesses from gay sinners. You found out about that from the Huffington Post. The Huffington Post, for the admiration of Moses! (Why were you even looking at the Huffington Post? You will […]

Bargain-rack Onion imitator The Daily Currant found its way into testimony given to the Maryland Senate Tuesday by Annapolis Police Chief Michael Pristoop, who solemnly informed a Senate panel of the disaster that lies in wait for any state that legalizes marijuana: “The first day of legalization, that’s when Colorado experienced 37 deaths that day […]

There’s government openness, and then there’s government openness — like for instance the Cecil County Government building in Elkton, Maryland, which will be the meeting place for a Ku Klux Klan group today; the Confederate White Knights will be renting the building’s Elk Room so they can gripe about immigration and make plans for the […]

Man, what is it with Republicans whining about not getting everything they want, up to and including a pony for their birthday and a tiara? It’s like the party has been taken over by a bunch of 4-year-olds who insist their tantrums be taken as serious arguments. Who are the latest group of pouty monkey-howlers? […]

Noted Congressional assclown and unconfirmed cosmic turd Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) is back to his old shenanigans where he opens his mouthhole with gibberish sounds that will likely be proven false by the time you finish reading this post. It must be a day! What is California’s most repulsive gift to society doing this time? […]

Good morning, straight people. We want to talk to you about that weird feeling you’ve been having for about a week — that one where your marriage feels like it’s… worth less. You may be wondering why you feel that way. We happen to know. It’s because Yr Wonket performed a gay marriage in the […]

Time for a new series here on Wonket! In what is the sister of Nice Time and the antithesis of Legislative Shitmuffin, we proudly introduce Legislative Badasses. These folks are fighting foolishness, generating goodness, and counteracting conservatives. Our inaugural Legislative Badass hails from the great state of Maryland and spends his days tirelessly fighting the […]

Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s intrepid dick, Matthew Boyle, has broken another important story, and it is that Martin O’Malley, governor of Maryland and your boyfriend, is taxing RAIN. Haw haw haw what a dummy, Martin O’Malley. Your arms too short to tax with God! Let us see what the Great Heretic is trying to do today:

Happy Ceremonial Inauguration Day! On this, the day Big Barry Bamz The Dancing Muslim said “gay marriage” in a real inaugural address, we bring you further news of the crumbling Judeo-Christian democracy: You may recall a little contest in which we offered to perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple in Maryland, where it […]

If even half the accusations flying in court are true, Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold has a great security detail. These folks may have helped him destroy election opponents’ signs, sure, but what “security detail” doesn’t do that? WaPo says, though, that it gets far saucier: One of Maryland’s top politicians used his security […]