maryland
Your Precious Little Boyfriend Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley Taxing The Heavens And God Himself
Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s intrepid dick, Matthew Boyle, has broken another important story, and it is that Martin O’Malley, governor of Maryland and your boyfriend, is taxing RAIN. Haw haw haw what a dummy, Martin O’Malley. Your arms too short to tax with God! Let us see what the Great Heretic is trying to do today:
Humble Maryland Bureaucrat Has Catheter, Will Make You Tend To It
If even half the accusations flying in court are true, Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold has a great security detail. These folks may have helped him destroy election opponents’ signs, sure, but what “security detail” doesn’t do that? WaPo says, though, that it gets far saucier: One of Maryland’s top politicians used his security [...]
Drunky Maryland Pol: Gay Marriage Crashed That Boat, Injured That 5-Year-Old Girl
It is not funny that Maryland Delegate Don Dwyer drunkenly crashed his boat last year, fracturing the skull of a five-year-old girl. But it is funny that he is blaming gay marriage for the alcoholism that made him drunkenly crash his boat last year, fracturing the skull of a five-year-old girl! Oh, did we say [...]
Attention Maryland Gays: Wonkette Will Marry You So Good (UPDATE)
Updated below. We have a contest on our hands, people! There are no rules but the prize is getting married. Since Maryland voters got all hopped up on equality and passed Question 6, Your Wonkette has decided to get in on the gay marriage game, because we Care About The Community and it sounds way [...]
Hero Marylander Will Simply Not Have Gays On His Trolley, He Will Not
There is injustice in Maryland, friends. A serious threat to civil rights. It’s about their ballot approval of gay marriage — it’s kicking in, and it’s causing serious issues. You might think the problem is people discriminating against gays, but you would be wrong: The problem is actually people discriminating against people discriminating against gays. [...]
Proponent Of Surveillance State Prominently Featured On Maryland Ballot
Your Comics Curmudgeon just returned from standing in a mildly long line in the moderately cold weather, to vote, so he is basically history’s greatest hero for democracy. Though ultimately another vote for Barry Soetero was saved onto an inscrutable smartcard that will presumably be thrown directly in the garbage, a last-minute once-over of the [...]
Hero Maryland Pastor: Vote Against Gay Marriage Or You Should Die
So there’s this Maryland referendum coming up for a vote on November 6, see, and it’s about letting gay people marry each other. You know, so they can get those sweet tax deductions, and visit each other in the hospital, and share health insurance, and commit publicly to the one they love — all that [...]
New York Times Columnist Bravely Defends Fortune 500 Company From Comedian, Grieving Parents
Well thank heavens, the Paper of Record is here to valiantly defend a Fortune 500 company from bereaved parents and the internet, which is exactly why we have the First Amendment, of COURSE –to better enable our press corps to write articles like this one, which is literally called “Progressive’s Side of the Insurance Case [...]
Gay Marriage Passes in Maryland; Twitter Awaits Santorum’s Reaction
The Maryland Senate passed a bill allowing same-sex marriage that the House also passed last week, which the governor will now sign shortly, hooray! This makes Maryland the first state with a direct reference to Catholicism in its name to legalize gay marriage and the eighth state to do so overall, which immediately forced Virginia [...]
Maryland Closes Nightmare Unpermitted Kids’ Lemonade Stand
Haha, here is the best argument ever made for shutting down the entire U.S. government bureaucracy: a Maryland county inspector fined a group of children $500 for selling lemonade to raise money for a children’s cancer charity, because these small freeloaders did not have a permit. No permit, no cure for cancer, children!
Michael Steele Is Now Going To Wreck MSNBC
Michael Steele was (barely) chosen as the Republican Party chairman a few years ago as a response to Barack Obama’s election to the presidency. Not a political response, so much as an image-y kind of thing. It’s hard to remember now, but the trend in 2008-2009 was all about tall, dark and handsome men. Especially [...]
Right-Wing Radio Nut/Ex-Cop Accused of Murdering Neighbor
A former Baltimore cop, carpet installer and wingnut host of some web-only thing called “Liberty Works Radio Network” has been arrested for the shooting murder of his next-door neighbor, because the neighbor’s dog allegedly wouldn’t stay in its own yard. Charles “Pete” Richter (?), a 66-year-old ex-cop and failed candidate for Queen Anne’s County sheriff [...]
TGIF: Terror Threat Level So Frickin’ High Tonight, It Thinks It’s God Now
You know how you know when a constant terror threat level alert is working? When people actually go so crazy that they start sending packages that “ignite and smoke” to the head of the Homeland Security Safety Mall Corporation. This is really going on! People in Maryland are sending smoke bombs addressed to Janet Napolitano [...]
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