As a Bible-believing Christian, you’re no stranger to outrage. Only now you’re outraged at yourself. It started with that excellent Arizona bill to protect Godly businesses from gay sinners. You found out about that from the Huffington Post. The Huffington Post, for the admiration of Moses! (Why were you even looking at the Huffington Post? You will […]

Bargain-rack Onion imitator The Daily Currant found its way into testimony given to the Maryland Senate Tuesday by Annapolis Police Chief Michael Pristoop, who solemnly informed a Senate panel of the disaster that lies in wait for any state that legalizes marijuana: “The first day of legalization, that’s when Colorado experienced 37 deaths that day […]

There’s government openness, and then there’s government openness — like for instance the Cecil County Government building in Elkton, Maryland, which will be the meeting place for a Ku Klux Klan group today; the Confederate White Knights will be renting the building’s Elk Room so they can gripe about immigration and make plans for the […]

Man, what is it with Republicans whining about not getting everything they want, up to and including a pony for their birthday and a tiara? It’s like the party has been taken over by a bunch of 4-year-olds who insist their tantrums be taken as serious arguments. Who are the latest group of pouty monkey-howlers? […]

Noted Congressional assclown and unconfirmed cosmic turd Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) is back to his old shenanigans where he opens his mouthhole with gibberish sounds that will likely be proven false by the time you finish reading this post. It must be a day! What is California’s most repulsive gift to society doing this time? […]

Good morning, straight people. We want to talk to you about that weird feeling you’ve been having for about a week — that one where your marriage feels like it’s… worth less. You may be wondering why you feel that way. We happen to know. It’s because Yr Wonket performed a gay marriage in the […]

Time for a new series here on Wonket! In what is the sister of Nice Time and the antithesis of Legislative Shitmuffin, we proudly introduce Legislative Badasses. These folks are fighting foolishness, generating goodness, and counteracting conservatives. Our inaugural Legislative Badass hails from the great state of Maryland and spends his days tirelessly fighting the […]

Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s intrepid dick, Matthew Boyle, has broken another important story, and it is that Martin O’Malley, governor of Maryland and your boyfriend, is taxing RAIN. Haw haw haw what a dummy, Martin O’Malley. Your arms too short to tax with God! Let us see what the Great Heretic is trying to do today:

Happy Ceremonial Inauguration Day! On this, the day Big Barry Bamz The Dancing Muslim said “gay marriage” in a real inaugural address, we bring you further news of the crumbling Judeo-Christian democracy: You may recall a little contest in which we offered to perform a marriage ceremony for a gay couple in Maryland, where it […]

If even half the accusations flying in court are true, Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold has a great security detail. These folks may have helped him destroy election opponents’ signs, sure, but what “security detail” doesn’t do that? WaPo says, though, that it gets far saucier: One of Maryland’s top politicians used his security […]

It is not funny that Maryland Delegate Don Dwyer drunkenly crashed his boat last year, fracturing the skull of a five-year-old girl. But it is funny that he is blaming gay marriage for the alcoholism that made him drunkenly crash his boat last year, fracturing the skull of a five-year-old girl! Oh, did we say […]

Updated below. We have a contest on our hands, people! There are no rules but the prize is getting married. Since Maryland voters got all hopped up on equality and passed Question 6, Your Wonkette has decided to get in on the gay marriage game, because we Care About The Community and it sounds way […]

There is injustice in Maryland, friends. A serious threat to civil rights. It’s about their ballot approval of gay marriage — it’s kicking in, and it’s causing serious issues. You might think the problem is people discriminating against gays, but you would be wrong: The problem is actually people discriminating against people discriminating against gays. […]

Your Comics Curmudgeon just returned from standing in a mildly long line in the moderately cold weather, to vote, so he is basically history’s greatest hero for democracy. Though ultimately another vote for Barry Soetero was saved onto an inscrutable smartcard that will presumably be thrown directly in the garbage, a last-minute once-over of the […]

So there’s this Maryland referendum coming up for a vote on November 6, see, and it’s about letting gay people marry each other. You know, so they can get those sweet tax deductions, and visit each other in the hospital, and share health insurance, and commit publicly to the one they love — all that […]