Wonkette

In the upcoming January 2008 issue of Architectural Digest, readers can check out the house in which Democratic strategist James Carville and Republican strategist Mary Matalin enjoy their weird marriage. Of course, a normal-looking house wouldn’t really suit well with the craziness of either. That’s why they have a very pink, cosmic, acid-trip of a house. Pictures of the Crazy, after the jump. MORE »

The Smoking Gun has 30 pages of Scooter Libby mash notes from various Washington bigwigs, from Henry Kissinger to Peter Pace. It’s also something of a rogues gallery of shamed former Bushies who’ve seen better days (Rummy! Feith! Wolfowitz!). Perhaps oddly, there’s no message of support from Dick Cheney. We figured he’d be a shitty boss, but he won’t even write a recommendation? MORE »

This week’s Wonk’d features everyone you love to hate: Tom Delay putting giant brown things in his mouth, Anne Coulter taking some good meat, Lynne Cheney staying safe under a brand new helmet, and Rick Santorum just being the whack otis he usually is. If you’d like a lighter mood for Friday afternoon, you’ll also get Howard Dean’s charming cab habit and Martin Sheen in DC for real and not just in your heart. All these lovely tidbits, plus a sign from God that Ralph Nader should probably hang up his wagging finger of shame.

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Terrifying Cheney goon Mary Matalin has grown bored with old-fashioned propaganda. These days, she’s experimenting on voters’ brains so surgeons can destroy the part that hates this administration. Matalin describes her bizarre human-research laboratory in a weird “Point-of-View” on that HotSoup.com thing:

When you put people in a room and discuss politics with them and you put an M.R.I. on their brain, the functioning, rational, logical part of their brain relative to politics goes black, and their emotional mind and the emotional part of the brain lights up. Further studies have shown not only do the rational parts of the brain fire up over political dialogue, the next step that’s happening is the brain is ascribing negative motives to the opposite view.

WTF? We find it interesting that Matalin reveals her horrific Mengele techniques just as the Pentagon begins publicly using Pain Rays on citizens, researchers find a convenient “silver dollar sized” part of the brain that should be removed to make people stop smoking, and the Washington Post reveals that every paranoid fantasy about government mind control is actually true and being practiced today. MORE »

Who could hate that face??? MORE »

It’s a new year in Wonk’d but all the famous-for-dc cats have already broken their resolutions. Laura Bush only made it 3 days before she was back on the sauce, Robert Novak may have been at the happiest place on Earth, but he was still an asshole, and of course there’s Katherine Harris, as you can see, taking to the streets of Florida during the warmest winter ever, in an ankle length fur coat. You get these dandies plus a Member of Congress who loves to stare at members of men, after you unzip.

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In another August “where’d everybody go” edition of Wonk’d we found Bill and Chelsea Clinton shopping for “MV” stickers and James Carville and Mary Matalin trying not to get stuck in DC. At right, Eleanor Clift looks lost too. If you’re caught here and can’t escape, take a cue from Joe Lieberman and enjoy yourself with a nice long lunch somewhere nice. Because, just like Joe, come November you might just miss this place after all.

Today’s Wonk’d is two weeks worth of sightings that we saved up and couple we had ourselves. We know you can do better. Please suppress thoughts like “Oh, Wonkette won’t care about him, he’s not even in office anymore.” Trust us, we want to hear about it. Just send over a little email with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line and the name of the person who wouldn’t make a sightings column in any other city. For scraping the bottom of the barrel, we thank you.

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• Heard on the Hill: Katherine Harris’ new campaign manager was accused in 2001 of “tricking voters into signing its petitions for a proposed ban on gay marriage by asking voters to first sign a petition to protect horses from being killed and sold as food.” [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Producers for James Carville and Mary Matalin’s high school politics-based reality show are having a hard time finding a school willing to host it…. Art Buchwald: Still alive, writing column. [WP]
• Rush and Molloy: When Fidel Castro kicks it for real, Cuba will once again become the exploitative capitalist paradise it was before the war, if the U.S.’s hottest club owners have anything to say about it. [NYDN]

* Under the Dome: Reuters will compete with Bloomberg for the hottest White House Correspondents’ Association after-party; theirs will be held at Kstreet. . . Tim Russert, David Gregory, and Sen. Kent Conrad attended the Nationals’ home opener. . . Harper’s taps the Los Angeles Times’ Ken Silverstein as its Washington editor. . . Fred Thompson endorses Sen. Chafee. [The Hill]
* Reliable Source: James Carville, Mary Matalin, Tony Williams, and Eleanor Holmes Norton were also on deck for the Nationals’ opener. . . Steve Carell was in town filming scenes for the sequel of “Bruce Almighty”. . . Jack Valenti is working on his memoirs. [WP]
* Page Six: New documentary aims to take Giuliani down a notch. [NYP]

* Mary Matalin will serve as treasurer for George Allen’s 2006 reelection committee — and may also be the latest addition to his 2008 A-team. [The Fix] MORE »