Wonkette

This week, General Petraeus, James Carville, Wesley Clark, Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger, Sam Brownback, and Mary Cheney were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Perfect for the newest Cheney’s trips to the beach, chilling at the pool, or field trips to Iraqi prisons!
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Congratulations to Mary Cheney and her wife Heather Poe, because they (or Mary, actually) just gave birth to a boy. Welcome to the most evil family in the world, little Samuel David Cheney! We just sent our regards: MORE »

Mary Cheney’s baby will be a boy, according to the Vice President himself. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Edwards campaign forcing candidates children to skip school, perform like trained seals throughout Iowa… It’s a boy for Mary Cheney! … Uh… something about ducks? [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Jimmy Carter: No opinion on “low-rider” pants. Though he secretly thinks they’re Israel’s fault… Rep. Yvette Clarke only member of NY delegation not to endorse Hillary. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: The Sam Fox recess appointment might be illegal or something. [WP]

* Some of America’s richest assholes heard President Bush mention “income inequality” for the first time, ever. [WP]
* Most farmers missed the speech, however; as they were too busy yelling at the crew of immigrants who act like they’ve never polished a gold toilet seat before. [WP, NYT]
* High-living funnyman Matt Cooper confirmed what he knew about Valerie Plame from Scooter on the way back from the Country Club. [WP, LAT]
* Joe Biden trips over his sword, impales himself on a blade of blather. [WP, NYT]
* Alberto Gonzalez will, grudgingly, share his secret court order toys. [WP, NYT]
* At least there’ll be a change of scenery - next war for energy security likely in Brazil, “the Saudi Arabia of ethanol.” [WSJ]
* Mary Cheney’s baby is not a propaganda tool — she told an audience of media people gathered for a magazine event in Manhattan. [NYT]

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Behold, the Virgin Mary Cheney Nativity Scene prophesied in last week’s Cartoon Violence. And you laughed so! MORE »

It’s time for another exciting edition of This Thing Looks Like That Thing — (c) Spy Magazine — starring everybody’s favorite neocon lesbian pregnant daughter of Dick Cheney. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Rahm Emanuel puts Ken Mehlman in a “mini-bear hug,” asks what he’s doing next, says, “Banking, Ken, that’s where the money is” … Surprise entertainment at the exclusive RIAA holiday party? The Barenaked Ladies. Ok, we’re linking to so many pirated mp3s in protest now… “A revised floor schedule for Wednesday was sent out advising, “H.R. 6136 — Margaret Thatcher Congressional Gold Medal Act HAS BEEN PULLED.” Thank christ for Barny Frank. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Because they live in Virginia, Mary Cheney’s partner Heather Poe will have no legal guardianship over their baby and won’t be allowed to adopt it unless they move to Maryland. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Official Congressional Gym very crowded these days, Democrats out of shape… Nancy Pelosi was 45 minutes late to a press briefing, more Democrats even later the next day. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Nancy Pelosi/Barbara Walters interview in the Capitol forces GOP staffers to wait until they pass before finishing cleaning out their bosses’ office… Santorum’s website slightly more gracious than his last speech… “Phil Olsen, the captain for Team USA in the World Beard and Moustache Championships, says [John] Bolton is welcome to a spot on the team.” [The Hill]
* Page Six: Just pure insanity re. Lindsay Lohan and Al Gore. It’s sad and crazy and makes us uncomfortable. [NYP]