Tag Archives: martin bashir

  wonkette world o' books

A Review Of The Free Amazon Preview Of Katie Pavlich’s New ‘Book’

Today is D-Day for one of the most anticipated events of the year around yr Wonkette’s newsroom, for it marks the release of Katie Pavlich’s book-like substance, Assault and Flattery: The Truth About the Left and Their War on Women.We’re so excited! Not excited enough to actually spend $25 on the goddamn thing and help Katie’s book-like-substance sales, or make the trek to the library, or download a copy to our Kindle. Then we might find ourselves feeling obligated to read the entire thing and risk falling into an abyss of self-loathing and despair over our career choices. But we can read the free preview on Amazon and review that, which is about as much attention as this thing deserves. We know we’re in for some good reading just looking at the list of chapter titles: Lynching the GOP; Barack Obama: The Most Anti-Woman President Ever (this is the same Barack Obama who signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and put coverage of contraceptives for women in his massive health-insurance reform bill, right?); The NRA: America’s Real Pro-Women’s Group… Good thing we’re not reading the book, because the material could not possibly be funnier than these titles. Katie, you’ve already peaked! But let’s read the rest of this free preview anyway. Read more on A Review Of The Free Amazon Preview Of Katie Pavlich’s New ‘Book’…
  free speech cluster duck

Barack Obama Puts Duck Dynasty Guy In Free Speech Prison

A&E Network has suspended Phil Robertson, star of the Duck Dynasty teevee program, following his charming opinions on teh gheys and what they do with their man-parts. In a recent interview in GQ, Robertson explained that Read more on Barack Obama Puts Duck Dynasty Guy In Free Speech Prison…
  with the swearing and the hurting and the tinsel

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Trashy Racist Bitchsluts Need To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ Or Else

Looks like it’s time for another trip to the ol’ comment queue, that purgatory where comments submitted by new users must cool off until we deem them worthy of inclusion in the Wonkette Community (bribery can help). Our first missive comes from “Sam_Gavurin,” who was not at all pleased with our story about fake “War On Christmas” stories. Sam_Gavurin sent two important messages, the first being an all-caps “C H MERRY I S T M A S ! !” which we think may be some kind of concrete poem or something. The second made his point a bit more explicitly: If you miserable “Politically Correct ” killjoys want to abstain from CHRISTMAS, that’s fine with me! But DO NOT ruin CHRISTMAS for the rest of us. If you killjoys hate CHRISTMAS so much, move to a communist country, and leave us alone! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Since neither of the items in the actual story actually involved anyone attempting to ruin, abolish, or otherwise harm Christmas — except maybe the fascists of Orange County who don’t allow Christmas lights strung across a public road, because zoning/safety — we will have to assume that Sam_Gavurin just wanted to drop by and remind us of our holiday travel options. And a cheery Festivus to you, too, Sam_Gavurin! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Trashy Racist Bitchsluts Need To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ Or Else…
  nothing gold can stay

Martin Bashir Resigns From MSNBC Just For Saying He Wanted To Make Turds In Sarah Palin’s Mouth

Robert Frost – Nothing Gold Can Stay – The… by poetictouch Remember when Martin Bashir said he wanted to make poops in Sarah Palin’s mouth? No, he wasn’t trying to be funny. He was very, very MAD! Why did Martin Bashir want to go number two, in Sarah Palin’s mouth? Well, mostly so he could give Wonket commenters about one million chances to explain that there is not any room for more dookie in there (in Sarah Palin’s mouth) because it (Sarah Palin’s mouth) is already quite full of it (dookie)! Oh, and also, he was making a point that no, being in debt to China is not the same as slavery, you ridiculous bad lady. Because in slavery, like in the television documentary “Coven,” some mean slaveowners would actually shit in their slaves’ mouths. It turns out — who knew! — slavery kind of sucked! Anyway, Martin Bashir has now “resigned,” and poor, put-upon Alec Baldwin has been avenged. Read more on Martin Bashir Resigns From MSNBC Just For Saying He Wanted To Make Turds In Sarah Palin’s Mouth…
  no jenny mccarthy you can't comment either

Deleted Comments Of The Day: If You Love Vaccines So Much, Wonket, Why Don’t You Go Put Some On Your Ice Cream?

Who’d have ever guessed that a post about Alex Jones shouting like a moron would draw nutty comments? Would-be commenter “Aleksiev1″ was especially unhappy that we mocked Mr. Jones’ assertion that immunizations are full of cancer viruses, to do eugenics. Our skepticism did not sit well with Aleksiev1! If there are no cancer viruses in the vaccines, I dare each one of you who think that to go and get vaccinated right now. Stop living in lalaland and research all this things by yourself and you’ll see it’s true. Damn, guess he’s got us there. We only vaccinated our kid, and get a flu vaccine every year. But otherwise, we are such cowards that we never run out and say, “Hey, how about a vaccine today? Anything you got.” Also, kudos to Aleksiev1 for the “go research this yourself and you’ll see,” which is really rather touching in its apparent certainty that anyone who simply takes the time to read up on vaccines at Infowars will be struck with the blinding light of TRVTH. Aleksiev1 followed this up with an angry dismissal of Wonket’s integrity: “All of you guys are in denial because either 1 you’re all wimps, or you’re just plain evil.” And there you have an Alex Jones fan: Too angry or dumb to remember they were counting to “two.” Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: If You Love Vaccines So Much, Wonket, Why Don’t You Go Put Some On Your Ice Cream?…
  the time of purification is at hand

Deleted Comments of the Day: Didn’t You Guys Notice Martin Bashir Is An Ay-Rab?

Gosh, seems like it’s been forever since we’ve done one of these! Thanks, Rebecca, for keeping up with the genius auditions while we were on “vacation” last week. And let’s see what’s squirming around on the underside of the comment queue today… First up, our story on Martin Bashir’s culinary suggestion for Sarah Palin drew this brilliance from “RichieM232″: Martin Bashir is a disgrace. Misogynistic scumbag. Should be kicked out of MSNBC. Considering his cultural background he probably still believes in stoning women. But it has no place in TV news in a civilized soceity. And if anyone knows what a “civilized soceity” [sic] is, it’s a guy who assumes that anyone named “Bashir” has to be a lady-stonin’ Mahomettan savage, amirite? Tell us something of “his cultural background,” will you, O Source Of Much Knowledge? “Bashir was born in Wandsworth, South London, to parents of Pakistani Christian origin … He identifies himself as a committed Christian” Well, hell, your hidden Muslims all claim they’re Christians. Just like the Gettysburg-denier preznit. On the other hand, we do think it’s worth mentioning that “Martin Bashir” anagrams to “harms Britain.” Read more on Deleted Comments of the Day: Didn’t You Guys Notice Martin Bashir Is An Ay-Rab?…
  please revise your feces statement

MSNBC’s Martin Bashir Wants To Feed Sarah Palin A Dookie

Fluff the pillows on the National Rightwing Fainting Couch and charge up the Orbital Outrage Cannon: Sarah Palin’s good name has been tarnished by the Lamestream Media! It is true! After the tea party’s guiding intellect compared the national debt to slavery (because obviously if something isn’t Hitler it has to be slavery), MSNBC talky guy Martin Bashir called her a “world class idiot” (science fact) and said that “it’s hardly surprising that she should choose to mention slavery in a way that is abominable to anyone who knows anything about its barbaric history” (also a science fact). He then read an excerpt from the 18th-century diary of a plantation overseer that mentioned some of the creative ways they’d punish unruly slaves, including forcing them to eat each other’s feces. But where Bashir went over the line was in suggesting that because she is obviously ignorant of the realities of slavery, Palin might benefit from similar treatment, which makes Martin Bashir the worst baddest most horriblest man who ever lived. The entire episode is ridiculous of course, because it’s not as if Sarah Palin was trying to run away or learn to read. Doesn’t Martin Bashir know anything about slavery? Read more on MSNBC’s Martin Bashir Wants To Feed Sarah Palin A Dookie…
  jeez can't you all take a joke?

Ann Coulter Would Like Some Attention Again Please

You see, Wonkdiddlydaddies, this is why we won’t let you ideate on murdering your political enemies. You thought it was just us never letting you have any fun, when, in reality, it was to save you from ever having to look into a mirror and realize you acted like Ann Coulter. Read more on Ann Coulter Would Like Some Attention Again Please…
  seven more months

Your Cutesy Little Insight Into Mormonism Sucks

Oh man, so, you know that cutesy little insight you may have Mitt Romney and the Secrets of Mormonism that you think could pass off as clever or “ironic”? Well, it’s not really interesting at all, nor is it clever, and you don’t know what irony is. So please, please, cut the crap, Brian Schweitzer and Martin Bashir, because we don’t really need to spend the next seven months watching daily evil cable news debates about whether Romney’s Mormon church or Barack Obama’s Jeremiah Wright church is WEIRDER, as would inevitably — and not unfairly — be the case. Read more on Your Cutesy Little Insight Into Mormonism Sucks…
 

Remainders: Games for Young Conservatives

• Games for young conservatives: Risk/Balderdash. “Risk all as you move with impunity to achieve world domination. Then, make up all kinds of crazy shit afterwards to justify what you did.” [Mr. Sun] • Bradgelina moving to Dupont? [Hollywood Rag, HomeVisit] • Pat Robertson of the Hail Satan Network. [Conspiracy Planet] • It distresses us that someone is using “Gang of 500″ in a completely unironic or sarcastic way. That it is James Carville does not help. [Chronicle of Higher Education] • Jean Schmidt called Jack Murtha a coward on the floor of the House because a Marine asked her to. Only he didn’t. [Cincinnati Enquirer] • “Martin Bashir will not be allowed to wear black leather pants on ‘New Nightline’ when he debuts as one of the ‘Nightline Three’ on Nov. 28.” Whew. [WP] Read more on Remainders: Games for Young Conservatives…