Tag: martha coakley

So Scott Brown Wants To Rape Martha Coakley With a Curling Iron?

Jesus, New York Times, if you would just quote the "something vulgar" rather than leave us all guessing, maybe the voters of Massachusetts would know whether Scott Brown is laughing about sodomy or rape or rape-sodomy or whatever. There were...

John Kerry Could Verily Be Brought To Fisticuffs

John Kerry, who polls suggest is one of only a handful of Democrats remaining in Massachusetts, is furious over the Naked Republican's insurgent campaign, calling his supporters "tea baggers" and all. He's already rolled up one sleeve, don't make...

The Best Phone Survey In Massachusetts Right Now

Where do the Teabaggers in Texas who are phone-banking Massachusetts households come up with this shit? "I just got a polling call about Martha Coakley. I also had to answer questions about gay marriage, Israel, and malaria, including this...

Is This Because We Forced The Gays To Get Married In Your State, Massachusetts??

Ha ha... whoops. So far the only good polling news we have seen for Coakley today is a 48-48 tie, according to a, um... Daily Kos/Research 2000 poll. Not that those veer as heavily Democratic as the PAJAMAS MEDIA...

Joe Biden To Eat The Filibuster

Hilarious constitutional technicality that we sometimes forget: Joe "Fuck Yeah" Biden is literally President of the Senate. This means that he can do whatever he wants, to the Senate! And with Democrats possibly POSSIBLY losing a Senate seat in...

Scott Brown Getting Smeared Over Recent Terrible Scott Brown Comment

Naked Massachusetts superstar Scott Brown made this dumbshit comment on some teevee show the other day, about Barack Obama's mother maybe possibly not being married very much? when she pooped out the current president. But wait! Brown's campaign released...

C'MON NOW WHAT THE HELL: Supposedly Martha Coakley is losing by three points in her own internal polling, which has a well-known liberal bias. If you're in Massachusetts on Tuesday, maybe you should go out and vote for this...

OBAMA TO CAMPAIGN FOR MISS ROBOT THIS WEEKEND: Hooray! Barack Obama has listened exclusively to Wonkette's advice and will campaign for Martha Coakley & Thugs in Massachusetts this Sunday. Marc Ambinder has listed 10,000 specific political expert reasons for...

Democrats Bring Out All The Stops In Blitz For Coakley

Hey, does anyone know anything about this Martha Coakley lady? Well in that case, here's our campaign strategy: KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY. Then say "Swift Boat!" too, because that's what they...

Barack Obama Dares Shoot Internet Video Supporting Martha Coakley

Barack Obama needs your help, sheeple! The broad up there in Massachusetts, Martha Coakley, just has zero fucking clue what she's doing or what's going on at all, so maybe volunteer and pass some leaflets around for a few...

Great Hero Shoves Weekly Standard Staffer

In a burst of violence the likes of which this planet has not seen ANYWHERE since at least the Kenneth Gladney/Union Thugs Incident, a Thug working with the Martha Coakley senatorial campaign MAULED Weekly Standard writer John McCormack in...

OH HO HO WE BETTER CHANGE OUR VOTE: "BOSTON -- In the race to succeed the late Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, U.S. Senate candidate Martha Coakley went on the attack Tuesday with a sharply worded television ad attacking her...

Boring Lady Person Officially Trying To Steal Ted Kennedy’s Memorial Senate Seat

It has only been a week -- one week -- since Ted Kennedy died, and already some gal has exploited this by declaring her candidacy for the special election happening like 2 minutes from now. Her name is Martha...