December 8, 2013
Here is your Halloween Horror Story Scary Post! Victoria Collier has a terrifying account of electoral spookiness in the current Harper’s Magazine.* Spoiler alert: Collier suggests that it is entirely possible that the GOP will be able to rig computerized voting machines to ensure that Mitt Romney wins the Presidency…and further, there’s no way to [...]
NEW YORK—Big news this morning out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics: the unemployment rate dropped! Like, a lot! People without jobs are now at the lowest number they’ve been at since six months or so after the economy fell off a cliff (which, it should be noted, still remains at an astoundingly high 13.3 [...]
Your right-wing types often go on and on and on about “keeping the gummint out of my hair” and “state rights,” and take as their proof text the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution, which basically says that the Feds can’t do anything but fight wars and mint gold coins and maybe build interstate highways, and [...]
David Axelrod held a briefing today with “reporters and opinion-makers,” you guys! He just wanted to get everyone together to remind them that the Democratic leadership made colossal, avoidable, unacceptable errors that completely ruined their agenda: “The White House had no contingency plan for health care reform if Democrat Martha Coakley lost the special election [...]
Jets fans are second-class citizens in Obama’s tyrannical One World Nation. [Hit & Run] Goldman Sachs made a disappointing five billion dollars in the fourth quarter. That’s what, maybe 20,000,000 eight balls? Heart-wrenching. [Daily Intel] JESUS WEEPS: Sarah Palin is officially a 100% USDA certified organic RINO! [Hot Air] The Sandinistas at the ACLU have [...]
Ugh, Mitt Romney is introducing Scott Brown. Shouldn’t a *winner* introduce America’s Newest Teabagger Star? Well, not a lot of GOP winners around, lately, so unless Scott Brown wants to introduce himself — maybe, a naked Scott Brown could introduce the clothed Scott Brown? — then Mittens is the best opening act available. Let’s listen [...]
Are you feeling nostalgic for Election Night 2008? This is almost exactly like that night, with a few small differences. For one, it’s again illegal to be black in America, so go back to Socialism-land, Rahm! Also, Andrew Sullivan may move back to Canada, he’s so bummed. There’s also a very good chance the beloved [...]
Hello, or “#avatar” to those of you playing along on Twitter, and welcome to the second half of this Senate race liveblog (“Ted Kennedy’s denouement”). Please see here, for the first part of the liveblog, and Twitter, for Twitter.
OH HEY, IT’S TRUE: We’re on the Twitter, just Twattin’ old-skool, live-blog style, about your favorite Massholes, what’s-her-name and got-no-pants. [Wonkette Twitter]
Aww, Michael Steele and his minions weren’t allowed to do stuff in Massachusetts. So Michael Steele is just pretending that he is a secret agent pulling the strings behind closed doors. This should keep him distracted for another few hours. [Politico] HEY, HARVARD COMMIES: If you go to vote for the robot lady, but Scott [...]
SEND SEXY ELECTION DAY PICS TO YOUR WONKETTE, YOU “MASSHOLES”: Considering how gay and Maoist you people are, a sizable chunk of you probably live in Massachusetts, the site of today’s exciting political election between a poorly programmed Democratic robot and the naked person. What a great opportunity to help your Wonkette! If you are [...]
Residents of Massachusetts must decide who they like better: Scott Brown. Or Martha Coakley. [Boston Globe] Many non-Haiti countries have issued a very generous “It’s cool, no worries” in response to Haiti’s debt. [New York Times] Between 2002 and 2006, the FBI illegally listened to 2000 of your phone calls. It also got overly touchy-feely [...]
Jesus, New York Times, if you would just quote the “something vulgar” rather than leave us all guessing, maybe the voters of Massachusetts would know whether Scott Brown is laughing about sodomy or rape or rape-sodomy or whatever.
John Kerry, who polls suggest is one of only a handful of Democrats remaining in Massachusetts, is furious over the Naked Republican’s insurgent campaign, calling his supporters “tea baggers” and all. He’s already rolled up one sleeve, don’t make him roll up the second! Because then… well then he might have to write a principled [...]