Tag: mars

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 12, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Louie Gohmert Pretty Sure Space-Queers Wouldn’t Be Very Good At Saving Humanity

Texas Republican Congresshick Louie Gohmert has some thoughts to share about gays, outer space, Matt Damon, and traditional het’rosexual romance!
Latest images from Curiosity rover

NASA Finds Water On Mars, Dan Quayle Still Wrong

Exciting nerd news, as NASA confirmed what had been suspected for a while now: Mars has liquid water! At least some of the time, under the right conditions. Scientists reported on Monday definitive signs of liquid water on the surface...
JPL'S Orbiting Carbon Observatory 2

Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate

Ted Cruz is pretty darn annoyed with NASA these days, seeing as how it's just been wasting a lot of taxpayer money studying the climate and foolishness like that. For heaven's sake, everyone knows that NASA is supposed to...
Manhater

Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist

Best newspaper correction ever or BEST EVER?Here's the original letter. It's quite something: Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he's done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord's return...

Rick Santorum: I’m Not Crazy, THEY’RE The Crazy Ones

Oh, Rick "Don't Google Me, seriously, stop it, it's not funny anymore!" Santorum, how we love thee. Santorum has the unique gift of standing out as one of the craziest Bible-humping crazies in a crowded field of serious contender...
Not so fast, man

House GOP Knows DC Voters Didn’t Mean to Legalize Weed

We all know how important it is to Republicans that the will of The People is never, ever overturned by some arbitrary branch of the eeeeevil Big Government. Like, say, when The People vote to ban rights for The...
Exactly

Starbucks To Be Even More Triple Grande Nasty-atto Now

As if Starbucks hasn't already turned "coffee" -- that beverage you pour into a mug in the morning, maybe add milk, maybe add sugar -- into a joke so bad it hurts our feelings, now there's a new not-coffee...

Kentucky, Land Of Bipartisan Derp, Scales New Heights Of Stupid About Climate Change

Let no one say that Kentucky's lawmakers will not engage in the most heroic levels of dumb when it comes to climate change denialism. If there were an Olympics in derp, the Kentucky Lege would win gold in every...

We’re Hiring, The Gay Mafia Runs Everything, And More In Your Afternoon Happy Links

Happy Nice Time is hiring! You can be me!! Cosmos went to green screen Mars. We really really really wanted to love the Maya Rudolph variety show thingy, but we are a bit disappoint. Jon Stewart yelled and sweared a lot about...

Cosmos Recap: Live Forever Or Die Trying

For this week's episode of Cosmos, "The Immortals," Neil deGrasse Tyson has got us thinkin' about bout eternity -- or at least the transmission of messages through time and space. (It's a nice tie-in to last week's episode, which...

Kiss Your Precious ‘Experiments’ And ‘Research’ Goodbye, Eggheads: A Government Shutdown Edition Of Your Sci-Blog

Hi, Wonkeratti. It's time once again for another infuriating Wonkette Sci-Blog. Sharpen your pitchforks, grab a torch and come on in. The very first Wonkette hotline tip I got on Monday was a forwarded link.  Just from reading the text...

Cosmic Fireballs, Water On Mars, And Why House Republicans Are Like Stoned Kids, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Hey there, Wonketeers! It's time once again for another appalling Wonkette Sci-Blog. Fire one up and come on in. Sometimes it's just not a good idea to let the Stoned Kid drive. Many years ago a group of us were driving...

Spite-Generated Harpy Michelle Malkin Has Thoughts On NASA, Science, Forced Abortions Probably

Nerds everywhere are celebrating last night's successful landing of NASA's "Curiosity" rover, breathing a sigh of relief, glorying in the awesome technological achievement, and giddily anticipating that some JPL engineers will almost certainly get laid. But hold on just...

Maybe Dan Brown Had A Point

Today, we find out how many gay people there are while the Vatican works miracles in book selling (not that book!), and a new sport everyone can do but a new reality show almost no can join. Hmmm.... How many...

Some Guys: Obama Teleported to Mars With Us

The latest ploy to draw skepticism (or bizarre, unwanted fandom) to our $99 Million Dollar Man, President Obama, is to suggest that he teleported to Mars during a top-secret CIA mission to explore the planet in the 1980s. According...