Tag: mars

Trump’s Team Can’t Stop Crash Landing. Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 29, 2017

Puerto Rico gets worse, MOAR Trumpkin air traffic control, and Jared Kushner has an email problem! Your morning news brief.

Dana Rohrabacher Asks NASA: Was Mars A Good Place To Raise A Kid?

In fact, it's cold as hell

Trump Pussgrabbing All Over Paris. Wonkagenda For Fri., July 14, 2017

Trump plays pussgrab in Paris, Don Jr drowning in Trump-Russia lies, and how are they stealing your health care today? All the ways Katie! Your morning news brief.

Man Who Believes In Alien Chimeras On Earth, Pedophile Colonies On Mars, Talks To Donald Trump

Alex Jones talked about secret Mars colonies and alien-human hybrids Thursday, and it was like seeing an old friend who's off their meds.

Let’s Go To The Tape! Wonkagenda for May 15, 2017

Why does Trump tape himself, the alt-right rallies (for 10 minutes), and will Spicey get "You're Fired?" Your morning news brief!

Trumponomics Just A Golden Shower! Wonkagenda For Tues., April 25, 2017

Trump tries to trickle down on the poors, Republicans try to kill Medicaid, and Alex Jones is being sued for yogurt libel! Your morning news brief!

It’s The Final Countdown! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Jan. 19, 2017

Trump's nominees get kicked around, Bernie Sanders is a fashion icon, and DC throws Mike Pence a big, gay dance party!

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 12, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Louie Gohmert Pretty Sure Space-Queers Wouldn’t Be Very Good At Saving Humanity

Texas Republican Congresshick Louie Gohmert has some thoughts to share about gays, outer space, Matt Damon, and traditional het’rosexual romance!
Latest images from Curiosity rover

NASA Finds Water On Mars, Dan Quayle Still Wrong

Exciting nerd news, as NASA confirmed what had been suspected for a while now: Mars has liquid water! At least some of the time, under the right conditions. Scientists reported on Monday definitive signs of liquid water on the surface...
JPL'S Orbiting Carbon Observatory 2

Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate

Ted Cruz is pretty darn annoyed with NASA these days, seeing as how it's just been wasting a lot of taxpayer money studying the climate and foolishness like that. For heaven's sake, everyone knows that NASA is supposed to...
Manhater

Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist

Best newspaper correction ever or BEST EVER?Here's the original letter. It's quite something: Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he's done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord's return...

Rick Santorum: I’m Not Crazy, THEY’RE The Crazy Ones

Oh, Rick "Don't Google Me, seriously, stop it, it's not funny anymore!" Santorum, how we love thee. Santorum has the unique gift of standing out as one of the craziest Bible-humping crazies in a crowded field of serious contender...
Not so fast, man

House GOP Knows DC Voters Didn’t Mean to Legalize Weed

We all know how important it is to Republicans that the will of The People is never, ever overturned by some arbitrary branch of the eeeeevil Big Government. Like, say, when The People vote to ban rights for The...
Exactly

Starbucks To Be Even More Triple Grande Nasty-atto Now

As if Starbucks hasn't already turned "coffee" -- that beverage you pour into a mug in the morning, maybe add milk, maybe add sugar -- into a joke so bad it hurts our feelings, now there's a new not-coffee...

Kentucky, Land Of Bipartisan Derp, Scales New Heights Of Stupid About Climate Change

Let no one say that Kentucky's lawmakers will not engage in the most heroic levels of dumb when it comes to climate change denialism. If there were an Olympics in derp, the Kentucky Lege would win gold in every...