Yes, it really did take us several minutes to realize that this poster from the Values Voters Summit was not, in all likelihood, referring to Cock Rings. (Although that has not been confirmed.) Just standard “finger rings,” like in marriage, sized for a nice lady and her husband the 16-foot-tall space giant, Kron. [Jeff Malet/TPM]

La Jolla hotel developer Doug Manchester put up $125,000 to collect signatures for Prop 8, California’s absurd anti-gay-marriage initiative intended to overturn Caifornia’s legal gay marriages just to ruin people’s lives, because why not, wingnuts is special. But now richie-rich Mr. Manchester, who previously claimed he was bankrolling the Prop 8 signature effort because of his deep love of being married to a lady, has cruelly dumped his wife of 43 years and is cold trying to ruin her lifestyle! MORE »

Lindsey Graham, third puzzle piece, along with Joe Lieberman and John McCain, of the Senate’s most bromantic Warring Loser Triumvirate, has come out to defend his good pal and homewrecker John Ensign, of sex affair fame. Graham considers Ensign’s sexings a personal matter on which he should keep his mouth shut, because, well, hehehe… we’ve all got shit on us, don’t we now? MORE »

Oh god this is too good: “The AP’s Christina Hoag reports that Brenda Lee, a reporter for the Georgia Informer, was dragged kicking and screaming from the press area near Air Force One at Los Angeles International airport (LAX) Thursday morning… KTLA reports that Lee is a self-proclaimed ‘Roman Catholic priestess.’ Lee claims she was attempting to deliver President Obama a letter urging him ‘to take a stand for traditional marriage.’” Ha ha ha WHAA?? There’s no such thing as a Roman Catholic priestess! Only Roman Catholic queens. Jesus. Just look at this insane clown having to be physically carried, by humans. Score another win for traditional marriage! Soon heterosexuals will all be DEAD. [HuffPo]

• PROPOSITION 8 UPHELD: Sorry, gays. Existing same-sex marriages will stand, but nobody else can get gay married. Until 2010, when this will doubtless be on the ballot again. [San Francisco Chronicle]

Charlie Crist has a wife. [Charlie Crist's Twitter]

You know how the Gays are always trying to get married, for the sole purpose of ruining your hetero marriage? Well now one dictionary says they can. BURN IT. MORE »

Hey wait a minute! You mean this Barack Obama, who was fairly liberal as an Illinois state senator, may have altered his position on such hot-button topics as gay marriage in order to become a more viable national candidate? It sounds crazy, but it just might be true! MORE »

Here is a bold Internet prediction: the newly off-the-market bronze Floridian frat-mammal Charlie Crist will make a run for the presidency next go-round. After all the work he put into his failed quest for the Republican VP nod this year — everything from endorsing the reanimated corpse of John McCain to asking a lady for her hand in marriage — nobody would have been shocked if he had just quit politics altogether once the odious Sarah Palin stole his spot. But his decision to forge ahead, putting his bachelor life behind him and doing something nice for the Everglades, means just one thing: he plans to position himself as the safe, non-religious-wingnut, environmentally reasonable Republican alternative for 2012. MORE »

We think Charlie Crist is an overall good guy, savin’ the Everglades and what not, so we’re a little worried for him now that it looks like he’s actually going through with this heterosexual marriage of his. It’s being reported in Florida that the governor’s pink wedding invitations are arriving in mailboxes only a few weeks before the big show on December 12. The dispatching of invitations is a big step, Charlie! Are you sure this is what you want?? We think you have reservations. BIG ones. Included in the invitation is a note that reads, “No gifts please, due to Florida law.” Ha ha, “law.” Is it really because you don’t want them all asking for their gifts back in six months? Anyway, Florida’s Fat Cats are all gossiping about who’s invited and who’s not (i.e. who’s a loser). Apparently Crist’s barber is so cool that he could’ve had an invitation but told Charlie, nah, don’t bother with me. Hmmph! MORE »

“Bristol Palin, one of Alaska Gov. Palin’s five children with her husband, Todd, is about five months pregnant and is going to keep the child and marry the father, the Palins said in a statement released by the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.” WAIT, WHAT? MORE »