mark sanford

Is it just us, or has it been a long time since we had a really revolting sex scandal? What was the last one, Bob Filner? That was a “good” one. We are trying to remember before that but Big Dave Petraeus, Mark “Soul Mate” Sanford, and Mr. Wide Stance Bromance Larry Craig are all […]

Cory Booker, welcome to the Senate. On a day better known for scary costumes, you are one good-looking piece of eye-candy that we are very excited to see more of! And you were sworn in by the only man in the Senate we would like to bone more harder, Old Handsome Joe Biden, playing his […]

What would you think of Mark Sanford if we told you he was a philandering simpleton with the impulse control of an autistic starfish? If you are more than half of voters in yesterday’s South Carolina 1st Congressional District special election, the bidding starts at “He ain’t the ‘bortion lady, right?” Mr. Sanford has defeated […]

There’s this exciting special election happening in South Carolina today between a comedian’s sister and a hiking aficionado. This being South Carolina, the slime machine has been running at high RPMs, with nasty push polls making anonymous slurs against Elizabeth Colbert-Busch, and over the weekend, the Stupidest Man on the Internet ran — twice — […]

Oh, South Carolina, you are so very special, the way you keep the Confederate flag handy because the South is sooooo gonna rise again, y’all, and the way you voted for Newt Gingrich to be your Republican presidential nominee, and the way you just looooooooooove to believe the most shocking of rumors when some mysterious […]

When Mark Sanford — the disgraced former governor of South Carolina, wannabe-but-not-gonna-be congressman from the state’s 1st Congressional District, and the world’s most enthusiastic trail-hiker EVER — isn’t losing a debate to a cardboard cut-out of Nancy Pelosi, or losing a debate to his actual opponent Elizabeth Colbert Busch, or violating the terms of his […]

Sad sex monster Mark Sanford took out a full-page ad in the Charleston Post & Courier on Sunday just to tell America: Mark Sanford knows that “it’s been a rough week.” It was a confusing time, these past days, and how about this media coverage last week, right? “The media does all of us a […]

Oh, Mark Sanford, your personal life is really an unending delight. There was the disappearance mid-governorship, which gave us a delightful euphemism for sexytime that we can use now and forever more. There was the divorce. There was the soulmate. There were the emails of wooing that we hope never to read again.  There was […]

A few years ago Mark Sanford was enjoying his time in the national spotlight as one of those Republicans whose “nice” demeanor appealed to dull Politico reporters, and whose constant desire to kick the poors in the balls gave David Brooks tingly feelings in his swimsuit region. However within months of having his name being […]

Remember Mark Sanford? He ran off with a lady friend while Governor of South Carolina and thereby graciously gave the world the phrase “hiking the Appalachian trail” as a euphemism for illicit sexytime. (If you are a person of a younger persuasion and do not remember this, just think of him like Anthony Weiner, but […]

Lady Governess Janice Brewer of Arizona has left her state on “official business.” Well, let’s be fair: Grand Dame Brewer has left her state for completely unexplained reasons, during which she failed to certify election results, and will be back Saturday, so shut up. Gov. Jan Brewer has taken a nearly week-long out-of-state work trip […]

Oh happy day! We awake to the joyous tidings that former governor Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Trail) and his lady love, that chick he was flying off to South America to bang, have sealed their passions with an engagement! It’s like a fairy tale, you guys! The [Argentine] paper [Clarin] said Sanford arrived early at the […]

Michelle Antoinette’s fashion atrocities continue to destroy lives overseas, but worry not, the fashion police are hot on her Allah-chic heels. [Michelle Obama's Mirror] Give the gift of jar-fetus to all the loved ones this Christmas with a Planned Parenthood buy-one get-one-free abortion coupon. [Now Public] Obviously you can’t water the Tree of Liberty with […]

March of 2009 was so very long ago that when you click this link you will be surprised that everyone in the story isn’t wearing chain mail and calling each other “thee” and “thou,” but back then South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was a guy with a future in politics, and if there’s one thing […]