Tag: mark sanford

John McCain Will Punch Cancer In The Face. Wonkagenda For Thurs., July 20, 2017

John McCain ready to keep kicking ass, Trump gives another INSANE interview, and zombie TrumpCare tries one last scare. Your morning news brief.

Please, Republicans, Ruth Bader Ginsburg Is Dying To Hear Your Crackpot Legal Theories!

Congressional Republicans have an answer to your complaints about their piece of crap healthcare plan. The answer is: RUTH BADER GINSBURG!

Tuff Guy Trump And Tea Party Dorks Meet Behind Gym For MACHO Slap Fight!

Walking Dumpster Fire Trump picks fight with Popular Congressmen! Bless His Heart! Your OPEN THREAD!

Mike Flynn BEGGING To Be FBI Snitch! Wonkagenda For Fri., March 31, 2017

Mike Flynn SO, SO scared he's Benedict Arnold, Trump's going to war with tea party crazies, and a wild Rex Tillerson appeared in Foggy Bottom! Go, Morning News Brief!
He gets cranky if there's no pudding

Yep, We Elected A God-Dang BABY To Be Leader Of Free World

Make some room on Mt. Rushmore, because this administration's gonna be SO GREAT.

In Which My Husband Takes Vicious, Belated Pleasure In General Sherman’s March To The Sea

There was a methy, crunchy-faced man in the gas station, glaring fire at us. My husband let his testosterone rise, ready to strike like a viper, should the need arise, at the man he contemptuously described as "what all...
She's sort of photogenic.

A Special Message From Me, Your Editrix, Writin’ At Ya!

Hey you guys it is me and Mark Sanford! Is it a PRETTY picture of me? No. You can pretend it is though! We ran into Mark Sanford (AND HIS MISTRESS AND SHE WAS GORGEOUS!!!!) out at brunch in...
Not sure if this is the judge or not, we just found it on the internet.

Arkansas Judge Invited Hot White Felon Boys Over For Sexytime. Totally Normal.

Judging is real tough because sometimes you're just going about your day and saying "GUILTY!" and "IT'S SLAMMER TIME, MAURICE," but then you get distracted by all the OMG CUTE WHITE GUY BUTTOCKS that came through your courtroom for...
Wonder if they have this book?

Sexy Republican Lawmakers Sorry For ‘Exchanging Documents’ In Each Other’s Pants

Did you hear about these two crazy kids in Minnesota? They are Republican state Reps. Tim Kelly and Tara Mack, and they are married, but not to each other. They were caught doing normal Republican legislator stuff to each other...
Maybe this is happening because Jesus hates you.

Oh No, Josh Duggar’s Cheatin’ Penis Makes The Family Values Crowd Look Bad!

Oh no, Josh Duggar has strayed from his Christian marriage by getting on the internet to find strange hoo-ha to dip his Duggar Stick into, and the Family Research Council, AKA the Southern Poverty Law Center-designated "family values" hate group where...
So long, farewell...

Sexting Missouri House Speaker Resigns, For Sexting, KTHXBAI!

Well, that was pretty darn quick! Just a day after his sexxytime texts with a college freshman intern became public, Republican Missouri Speaker of the House John Diehl is stepping down from both the speakership and his seat in...

Shut the F**k Up, Luke Russert (And Chuck Todd Too)

So according to the World Of Cable Chatter, Alison Lundergan Grimes has completely destroyed her chances of being elected to the U.S. Senate because she didn't answer the Louisville Courier-Journal editorial board's question about whether she voted for Barry Bamz...
Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Using Nerd Words Like ‘Wonkette’

We have been down to sump out the comments queue, and man, what a mess. We have quite the assortment, and let's get right to it with this brief note from "Vfunct," who was not impressed with our headline...
thinking ... thinking ... thinking ...

Mark Sanford So Sorry To Have Created All This Drama All By Himself

In case you missed it, which is impossible because no one missed it, Rep. Mark Sanford (R-Tragicville) felt compelled on Friday to share all of his personal turmoil on his Facebook page. All 2000-plus words of it, which we...
Nice "game"

Dead Children And A Deadbeat Dad: Mark Sanford’s Sad, Sleazy Divorce Hearing Transcript (EXCLUSIVE, FOR REAL)

In a post-divorce family court hearing transcript obtained by Wonkette, we learn even more sordid details about South Carolina Rep. Mark Sanford and his divorce from ex-wife Jenny, including: That Mark was a deadbeat dad who was found in contempt...