It does not sound like John McCain is terribly bummed about losing the election. Who can blame him? Just 72 hours ago he was staring down the barrel of four terrible years of Congressional gridlock, war, an economic depression, and co-governing with an aggressively stupid wingnut who could not manage a clothing budget, let alone an actual budget. But now John McCain can reclaim his old mantle of Noble, Doomed Loser and spend weekends at his swank Sedona ranch, quietly throwing back some of Cindy’s sedatives and plotting how he will romance his way back into journalists’ (and America’s!) hearts. MORE »

Civil War veteran John McCain served his country with “honor,” but he has no idea what “honor” even means! In a hilarious Q&A with TIME Magazine — hilarious because he’s just barking “Get off my lawn!” at the poor reporters — McCain is asked a simple, boring, “just quote your stump speech” question, and he goes absolutely crazy. MORE »