Granted, there are no flattering representations of Mark Penn to be found anywhere in this space-time dimension, because Mark Penn has an unflattering face. However, the dot-jockey at the WSJ may have gone a little overboard with this one. Expose children to this image and they’ll be bed wetters for life. [WSJ]

In a conference call today with his PR firm’s managing directors, Hillary Clinton’s disgraced Colombian-loving rapacious Janus-faced lardbot Svengali and most despised chief strategist Mark Penn revealed that he isn’t really going anywhere. He will still be “very much involved” with the Clinton campaign but he won’t be called a chief strategist anymore. MORE »

You know who’s happy about Mark Penn finally quitting/getting fired from the Clinton campaign? Everyone except Barack Obama, who considered Penn his ace in the hole for winning this whole endless election. But now that we won’t have that old unctuous creep to kick around anymore, let’s see what the rest of the Internetosphere is saying about the Numbers Swami Who Fell To Earth. MORE »

Hillary Clinton’s chief strategist, Mark “Bowser” Penn, is relinquishing his position for the campaign and will soon return to his fiery lair in the sewers of Colombia, to eat. He was “pushed out” by campaign manager Maggie “Don’t give me no guff” Williams after consulting with the Colombians to forge a free trade agreement that Hillary opposes. Now he’s just another fat bum spewing fireballs out of his mouth. Why does everyone hate Mark Penn, you ask? Because he’s just kind of a dingus. [ABC News]

For a few sad weeks in March, beloved Clinton advisor Mark Penn mysteriously disappeared. We expected Hillary was loaning herself another $5 million to keep Penn chained up someplace quiet with a large collection of porn and snack foods. But in fact new reports tell us he has been meeting with the Colombian ambassador to discuss a bilateral free-trade agreement … which his boss Hillary Clinton opposes. Next thing you know he will be meeting with the CANADIANS to talk about how much he secretly loves Nafta. MORE »

In response to this post, which was magically linked from the front page of AOL.com. When the Apocalypse comes, will Mark Penn save us or them?

Now that Mark Penn has been stuffed in a spider hole with a box of Ho-Hos and a well-thumbed issue of Juggs, Hillary Clinton won’t have to worry about him ruining anything else for her until September. In the meantime, she can worry about Harold Ickes — the campaign adviser and borderline exhibitionist who’s waging a harassment campaign on uncommitted superdelegates. MORE »

MARK PENN BEATS RICHARDSON IN SUMO MATCH: And now the traditional Fun Part of the News Day: how did Clinton chief strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn manage to spin away Obama’s latest good news (the Richardson endorsement)? We predicted the standard “caucus states don’t matter” line, which was close enough to the truth: “The time that he could have been effective has long since passed… I don’t think it is a significant endorsement in this environment.” For real — what good is an endorsement when Hillary’s already won the presidency? [TPM Election Central]

[Secret proceedings inside dank, humid HILLARY CLINTON campaign lair]: Mark Penn hold focus group. Focus group show Gay Community support for Clinton eroding. Philadelphia votes important in upcoming Pennsylvania election. Elton John: gay, has song called “Philadelphia Freedom.” MARK PENN MAKE ELTON JOHN PERFORM HILLARY CONCERT APRIL 9. Mark Penn eat baby dinosaur for snack break. [HillaryClinton.com]

Because it is a day ending in “y,” somebody is ripping on poor old Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton’s beleaguered numbers swami who gets ridiculed every time he opens his mouth. But this time the critic isn’t one of his coworkers! Refreshing remarks, after the jump. MORE »

Hillary Clinton’s universally reviled strategist Mark Penn made one of those truth-gaffes today when he basically told reporters that Barack Obama can’t win the general election. Then he tried to finesse it, but he failed, and Harold Ickes blamed him for everything and Patti Solis Doyle was fired, emphatically again, for good measure. MORE »