Tag: mark penn

Also, he doesn't have a good American-sounding name like 'Castellanos'

Trump Idiot: Something Seem *Different* About This Obama Fella To You Guys?

Gosh, that Barack Obama sure is a mystery. He's definitely a citizen, but is he really *American*?

Fear And Loving In New Hampshire: Your Wonkebago Primary Wrap-Up!

It was supposed to be eight hours from our Pennsylvania rest stop to Nashua, New Hampshire. But 13 hours later, we were still driving, looping around looking for a freeway that wouldn't lop the top off our Wonkebago. We...

Game of Hormones: How Will Lady Clynton’s Grandchild Help Her Usurp The Throne?

The bloodstone hearth glowed crimson and umber athwart the embers of the fire. Lady Hillarye Clynton regarded the beasts carved upon it: the savage bear, the diffident squirrel, the cowardly otter. Above them all, the rampant croissant, sigil of...

Mark Penn To Shove Money Into His Pants For Charlie Crist

Oh, this is fun: Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton's former fat Komodo dragon advisor, and "Bride of Mark Penn" are hosting a fundraiser at their Washington home for Charlie Crist. Charlie Crist, you remember, used to be a Republican, and...

Penn’s Firm Made Big Smackeroos Off Stimulus

History's greatest monster, the notorious bottom-feeding nudibranch Mark Penn, has once again triumphed over Goodness and Mercy. Nearly $6 million in stimulus money went to Penn's PR firm, Burson-Marsteller, in order to "preserve three jobs," which is a fancy...

Clinton Still Owes Mark Penn Many Dollars

One of the great pleasures of last year's campaign season was seeing the consulting firm of Mark Penn, history's greatest monster, end up millions of dollars in the hole for all the great work they did on behalf of...

Mark Penn Does Not See ‘Angry Left’ As New Important Microtrend

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Monster-Emperor of Targeted Polls and Hillary Clinton's personal Iago, Mark Penn, went on the Morning Joe program today because his important book from 90 years ago, Microtrends, is...

Mark Penn Declares Blogging Latest Microtrend (UPDATE: Mark Penn Unsure If Blogging Is Latest Microtrend)

Failed campaign strategist/pollster/tyrant Mark Penn writes in his always forward-thinking Microtrends column today: "Paid bloggers fit just about every definition of a microtrend." Hooray! We're eating steaks tonight! And then maybe some dancing, MMHMM? Tell us more: "In America...

Dana Perino Joins Mark Penn’s Firm

Former Bush spokesmodels who do not know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it's a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn's PR outfit...

Mark Penn Unveils New Microtrends: ‘Buyers’ And ‘Sellers’

Obese, constipated hell monster Mark Penn has written a new edition of "Microtrends" -- no not the book about how to lose a Democratic primary with a Clinton, but the Wall Street Journal column about pornography! IN WHICH HE...

Mark Penn Still a Scumbag

Repulsive swamp cow Mark Penn has so many personal microtrends that they all add up into one megatrend, which is "Mark Penn will take money from anybody, including Satan." Here is Rachel Maddow responding to Penn's latest bullshit about...

Mark Penn Poll: Mark Penn’s Ad Is Best Ad Of Politics

Politics magazine will release the results of their "2008 campaign poll of political insiders" this Thursday, but we already know the winner of one category: best ad of the presidential race. It is Hillary Clinton's "3 a.m." ad, the...

A Children’s Treasury Of Terms Of Abuse For Our Favorite Villains

Now that it's officially pre-2009, we can start guiltlessly recycling all the material we've already written into Top Ten Posts. Today's took a surprisingly long time to compile. It seemed like a good idea to look at all the...

Maybe We’ll Read Page 136 Just To Piss You Off, Mark Penn

As Gawker points out, this comical footnote is the douchiest possible way Mark Penn -- or anyone, ever -- could have ended his Wall Street Journal column today. (Oh, yes, he has a regular WSJ column now called... "Microtrends."...

MARK PENN DISCOVERS FANCIFUL NEW DEMOGRAPHIC: He calls them "Mattress Stuffers": a group of depraved individuals who, unable to experience arousal from normal human contact, can only reach sexual fulfillment by humping beds full of dollars. Mark Penn is...

COMICAL SUNDAY READING: The Independent landed a sit-down with former Hillary Clinton campaign chief strategist Mark "Bowser" Penn during one of his awful British speaking engagements and JESUS, the write-up reads as if Mark Penn had once sodomized and...