mark kirk
Your Tuesday Nice Time: GOP Sen. Mark Kirk Favors Marriage Equality Without Even Having A Gay Son Or Anything
Senator Mark Kirk, (R-Illin’ but maybe the good kind, kids these days) has announced his support for marriage equality. Kirk is now the second Republican in the Senate to support gay marriage, following a similar announcement by Rob “No, sorry, I don’t know Natalie” Portman last month. Kirk also is the first Republican in the [...]
Ill. Senator Mark Kirk Turns Out Not To Be Gay, Actually Has Tons Of Lady Problems
Mark Kirk is the Republican who ran to succeed beloved Greatest Senator Ever Roland Burris, and you probably remember him for two reasons: that he was rumored to be gay, and that his ex-wife stopped supporting his campaign because he got too conservative under the sway of mysterious svengali Dodie McCracken. And then you forgot [...]
Al Gore’s Sex Life Ruined Climate Forever, Mark Kirk Says
Back when he was a member of the House, Sen. Mark Kirk (R-IL) was one of a few Republicans who voted for a far-reaching climate change bill. That legislation quickly fueled Tea Party rage, and conservatives went on the attack against the plan’s backers. So Kirk did an about face on the issue, and now [...]
Fun New ‘Soft Earmarks’ Don’t Count As Earmarks For GOP
Problem: Your congressional district needs federal funds to keep from disintegrating into an anarchic wasteland of broken infrastructure and roads made out of abandoned plastic Wal-Mart junk, but you hate federal spending and want to ban earmarks. Solution: Just ask/coerce federal agencies very nicely, and they will give you money for your district. And, surprise, [...]
Peace In, Democracy Out In Afghanistan
NATO is escorting some high-level Taliban leaders that they were previously trying to kill to Kabul so that they will make nice with Hamid Karzai and the Afghan government and we can all go home, hooray! “High-level” does not include Mullah Omar, who is apparently a “prisoner” of the Pakistani ISI spy agency. Oh, and [...]
Mysterious ‘Kraken’ Ruining Mark Kirk’s Senate Campaign
GOP Representative Mark Kirk was doing so well in his quest to win the seat of Senator Roland Burris, who is retiring to his mausoleum because he has achieved all of his policy goals. As recently as May, he was up by nearly 7 points in the polls! But then he told a bunch of [...]
Is GOP Senate Candidate Mark Kirk a Secret Gay Homosexual?
How many days since the last prominent anti-Gay Republican got outed as a Secret Homosexual? Several! So it’s time to report on the latest gay-hypocrite rumors, this time about Illinois Republican Mark Kirk, who is running for Barack Obama’s old Senate seat from Illinois. According to a blogger who “outs” the closeted gay Republicans who [...]
Republicans Will Win America’s Hearts By Taking Their Health Insurance Away
Roger Ebert, the Internet’s most prolific writer (and also a famous film critic), typed this succinct & damning Twitter reply to Mark Kirk’s brave election-winning plan to bring back insurance bans on Americans with “pre-existing conditions.” [Ebert via Daily Kos]
Gossip Roundup: Wacky Neighbor
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