Tag Archives: mark foley

 

Pelosi Already Checked The Computers For Porn, Ok?

Cocktober 2006 was a beautiful time; we remember it fondly, becoming misty-eyed and nostalgic whenever we are reminded of that better, simpler time when everyone was really interested in sexytime emails and porn. One of those times that makes us misty is right now, as we are told that Nancy Pelosi won’t help Florida law enforcement probe any deeper into whether or not our old friend Mark Foley committed any of a multitude of possible felonies. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement appealed to the Speaker herself to let them look at the backup tapes (tapes?) from Foley’s old computer, but Nancy said no. Read more on Pelosi Already Checked The Computers For Porn, Ok?…
 

Denny Spent a Bunch of Money, Forgot to Say

Just about the time that former Speaker Denny Hastert was promising not to run for reelection, recently revealed documents show he was also settling a case with the FEC. See, he sorta kinda maybe spent $150K of his reelection campaign money on legal bills in the whole didn’t-prevent-Foley-from-molesting-boys thingie — which is itself perfectly legal, go campaign finance “reform”! — but he forgot to tell anyone in his FEC filings because he probably didn’t want all his donors to know that he was spending the money defending his incompetence instead of getting reelected. Total cost to Hastert for disobeying the disclosure law: $1,000. He didn’t face anything harsher than an Ethics Committee rebuke for not stopping Foley, though. Justice is so sweet, isn’t it? [Washington Post] Read more on Denny Spent a Bunch of Money, Forgot to Say…
 

Gay Larry Craig’s Been Denying It Forever

Jeez, the news sure was newsy back then, in 1982, when then-Congressman Larry Craig was also on national teevee denying he fucks boys. He was “unmarried by choice” at the time, and accused of getting Congressional pages HIGH ON COCAINE/MARIJUANA and screwing them at his house. Read more on Gay Larry Craig’s Been Denying It Forever…
 

Mark Foley won’t let investigators see his sexytime on his computer, and Congress bravely stands by the teen-boy-loving ex-congressman. [MSNBC]
 

Denny Hastert Bravely Blames Americans For His Failure

Dennis “the Hutt” Hastert is giving up and quitting, finally, after somehow keeping his congressional seat (if not the House majority) despite personally providing Mark Foley with fresh naked boys each morning. But as each sore loser Republican announces their ignoble retreat from politics in this grim summer, they are required to give interviews consisting of bitter attacks on American citizens for voting them out of power. Read more on Denny Hastert Bravely Blames Americans For His Failure…
 

Hey Guess Who Took This Picture of Florida Rep. Bob Allen

Wait, what? This is from the official Florida House of Representatives website, and it’s apparently a “technology hearing,” and our now-shamed haunter of men’s public restrooms is holding, we believe, a tiny breathalyzer device. So he’ll obviously be checking into rehab shortly. And the guy who took the picture should have some recommendations, as far as that goes. Florida House of Representatives Read more on Hey Guess Who Took This Picture of Florida Rep. Bob Allen…
 

Mark Foley Is Getting Desperate

The following e-mail was just sent specifically to Wonkette: Hello, I would like to invite all the Capitol Hill Interns to a TV shoot in DC … I’ts for a prime time series …. Could you send out a mass email? Please call me…it’s happening on Monday!!! Diane323.904.xxxx Sure, “Diane,” we’ll send out a mass e-mail. Good luck with your “TV shoot in DC.” Read more on Mark Foley Is Getting Desperate…
 

Brian Ross & His Prop Phone Take Wonkette’s Peabody Award

If we were a little more gullible, today we would be the proud winners of the Peabody Award that’s going to Brian Ross and his goddamned prop phone. Ross won the coveted award for spreading all those filthy Mark Foley e-mails and IMs. Wonkette, on the other hand, simply posted the e-mails and said they were “obviously fake.” Read more on Brian Ross & His Prop Phone Take Wonkette’s Peabody Award…
 

Wonk’d: Down The Road And Back Again

Behold Harriet Miers, far from Dorothy, Rose, and Sofia, yet smirking all the way to the hearing room. She’s in today’s Wonk’d, along with Mark Foley in the role of the sassy friend with all the best zingers and Barney Frank playing the lovable dummy. Make the jump for these golden girls, plus Rick Santorum as the hateable dummy, Jesse Jackson, Jr. as “the black one,” and one very hungry Stephanie Herseth. Read more on Wonk’d: Down The Road And Back Again…
 

Gossip Roundup: Tancredo and the Bandit

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Norm Dicks, chair of the House Appropriations subcommittee on Interior and environment, wears a jacket with the words “Mr. Chairman” emblazoned on the front. On Saturdays. While getting a haircut… No members of Congress at Madame Tussauds, thank god. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: All-around douchebag and Abramoff buddy Michael Scanlon is suing his ex-wife for all the money in the world plus one dollar… New York state legislator starting a bizarre Courage Cup controversy. Features this sentence: “We will have nothing further to do with this person or his imaginary polo activity….” [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Darryl Strawberry was at Blue Gin Saturday night, where the hell were you? … NICOLAS CAGE IS COMING, PREPARE YOURSELF. [Examiner] * Under the Dome: Staffer steals Rep. Tom Tancredo’s car, smashes it into another car, tells Cap Police he had permission. If it weren’t for stupid Libby we’d have just written about this all day long… Crazy former Marine sending crazy letters to congresswoman. [The Hill] * Shenanigans: Tim Mahoney, who unseated Mark Foley, has directed his staff to communicate via instant messenger… David Gregory: Airport line skipper. [Politico] * The Sleuth: Dick Morris continues to entertain. He’s being served with a subpoena by the DC Madam who’s threatening to sell her client list, all while trying to make an anti-Hillary documentary. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Tancredo and the Bandit…
 

Gossip Roundup: Used Cars

* Heard on the Hill: There are racy pictures of that American Idol contestant from DC on the internets. She’s “cavorting” in the WWII Memorial fountain, for some reason… Scooter Libby partied with two young women at Poste Brasserie last Saturday. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Ted Kennedy apparently got a black Aston Martin for his birthday, but now his wife says it was a rental… Patrick Fitzgerald drove down to DC from Chicago just to prosecute Scooter Libby. How sweet of him! … Mark Foley finally sold his DC house. Made out pretty good, too. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: California Governor Ranier Wolfcastle suggests that a “smoking tent” in the Capitol would solve all sorts of partisan woes… Most congressional websites suck… Humorous typo on the White House dinner menu! [Examiner] * Under the Dome: Googling Giuliani for president” brings up a McCain ad… Obama’s children desperate to know why the hell they have to be in Iowa… Richard Lewis donated money to Joe Biden. Nothing makes sense anymore. [The Hill] * Shenanigans: Rudy’s interviewing tailors… McCain snubs CPAC… Al Gore: still puffy! [Politico] * Inside the Beltway: GEORGE W. BUSH: DOUBLE-DIPPER. [WT] * The Sleuth: Bob Ney’s chief of staff pleaded guilty, turns out Ney kept his dirty money in a safe in a his House office. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Used Cars…
 

Wonk’d: Winter Wonderland

These sightings always bring more questions than answers. Is Tom Vilsack so hard up for publicity that he’ll sit in a window scarfing burgers to get noticed? What makes George Allen think he’s still a member of Congress? Is James Carville sane? Does Donald Rumsfeld need a lawyer for all the reasons we think he does? If Ted Kennedy can get his dog to follow his commands, how come no one else does? Is Chris Matthews sane? Has Norah O’Donnell been watching too much Godfather II? Did Tucker Carlson rub one out to Miss America after their lunch? Keep reading to see what’s making us wonder about this stuff, plus a former congressman who travels with the kind of luggage you don’t carry if you want to get your gayness fixed. Read more on Wonk’d: Winter Wonderland…
 

Hollywood Still Loves You, Mark Foley

The graphic above comes not from some embarrassing-in-retrospect year-old promotional brochure, but from the program for last Wednesday’s PRISM Awards. The PRISM Awards are handed out by the entertainment industry, and each year they have a “Capitol Hill showcase” to convince lawmakers that Hollywood isn’t all queers and perverts (unlike Capitol Hill). The former Representative from Cocktoberfest was, in better days, a staunch champion of the entertainment industry, and his words in the program highlight the importance of accurate portrayal of addicts and drunks: Read more on Hollywood Still Loves You, Mark Foley…
 

Teens Love Getting Schtupped by Old Congressmen

After the Mark Foley scandal, it was all but certain that even the most naive “civic minded” teenager would avoid the House and Senate page programs. Instead, becoming a page is more popular than ever before. Read more on Teens Love Getting Schtupped by Old Congressmen…
 

Wonk’d: Christmas With Kitty

This week’s Wonk’d features at least three sightings that we actually believe happened! Plus one joke + invasive picture of some dude on the metro and one almost-plausible Mark Foley sighting. Slim pickins, but hardly anyone’s been in town for two weeks. We expect things to pick up come January, but until then, enjoy John McCain, Katherine Harris, Megyn Kendall, and a “Jack Abramoff”, after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: Christmas With Kitty…
 

Congressional Sex Slaves!

Letters to the editor are just more fun out in the middle of nowhere. Take Chillicothe, Ohio (“Ohio’s First Capital!”). An elderly gentleman writes: You were so right about House Republicans finding no rules broken in the Mark Foley scandal. A Congressional page friend of mine told me in 1956 that the pages were for the purpose of serving the sexual appetites of Congress – obviously not subject to the ethical standards of mere mortals, much like many church leaders. Read more on Congressional Sex Slaves!…