Tag Archives: mark foley

 

Gossip Roundup: Tancredo and the Bandit

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Norm Dicks, chair of the House Appropriations subcommittee on Interior and environment, wears a jacket with the words “Mr. Chairman” emblazoned on the front. On Saturdays. While getting a haircut… No members of Congress at Madame Tussauds, thank god. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: All-around douchebag and Abramoff buddy Michael Scanlon is suing his ex-wife for all the money in the world plus one dollar… New York state legislator starting a bizarre Courage Cup controversy. Features this sentence: “We will have nothing further to do with this person or his imaginary polo activity….” [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Darryl Strawberry was at Blue Gin Saturday night, where the hell were you? … NICOLAS CAGE IS COMING, PREPARE YOURSELF. [Examiner] * Under the Dome: Staffer steals Rep. Tom Tancredo’s car, smashes it into another car, tells Cap Police he had permission. If it weren’t for stupid Libby we’d have just written about this all day long… Crazy former Marine sending crazy letters to congresswoman. [The Hill] * Shenanigans: Tim Mahoney, who unseated Mark Foley, has directed his staff to communicate via instant messenger… David Gregory: Airport line skipper. [Politico] * The Sleuth: Dick Morris continues to entertain. He’s being served with a subpoena by the DC Madam who’s threatening to sell her client list, all while trying to make an anti-Hillary documentary. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Tancredo and the Bandit…
 

Gossip Roundup: Used Cars

* Heard on the Hill: There are racy pictures of that American Idol contestant from DC on the internets. She’s “cavorting” in the WWII Memorial fountain, for some reason… Scooter Libby partied with two young women at Poste Brasserie last Saturday. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Ted Kennedy apparently got a black Aston Martin for his birthday, but now his wife says it was a rental… Patrick Fitzgerald drove down to DC from Chicago just to prosecute Scooter Libby. How sweet of him! … Mark Foley finally sold his DC house. Made out pretty good, too. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: California Governor Ranier Wolfcastle suggests that a “smoking tent” in the Capitol would solve all sorts of partisan woes… Most congressional websites suck… Humorous typo on the White House dinner menu! [Examiner] * Under the Dome: Googling Giuliani for president” brings up a McCain ad… Obama’s children desperate to know why the hell they have to be in Iowa… Richard Lewis donated money to Joe Biden. Nothing makes sense anymore. [The Hill] * Shenanigans: Rudy’s interviewing tailors… McCain snubs CPAC… Al Gore: still puffy! [Politico] * Inside the Beltway: GEORGE W. BUSH: DOUBLE-DIPPER. [WT] * The Sleuth: Bob Ney’s chief of staff pleaded guilty, turns out Ney kept his dirty money in a safe in a his House office. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Used Cars…
 

Wonk’d: Winter Wonderland

These sightings always bring more questions than answers. Is Tom Vilsack so hard up for publicity that he’ll sit in a window scarfing burgers to get noticed? What makes George Allen think he’s still a member of Congress? Is James Carville sane? Does Donald Rumsfeld need a lawyer for all the reasons we think he does? If Ted Kennedy can get his dog to follow his commands, how come no one else does? Is Chris Matthews sane? Has Norah O’Donnell been watching too much Godfather II? Did Tucker Carlson rub one out to Miss America after their lunch? Keep reading to see what’s making us wonder about this stuff, plus a former congressman who travels with the kind of luggage you don’t carry if you want to get your gayness fixed. Read more on Wonk’d: Winter Wonderland…
 

Hollywood Still Loves You, Mark Foley

The graphic above comes not from some embarrassing-in-retrospect year-old promotional brochure, but from the program for last Wednesday’s PRISM Awards. The PRISM Awards are handed out by the entertainment industry, and each year they have a “Capitol Hill showcase” to convince lawmakers that Hollywood isn’t all queers and perverts (unlike Capitol Hill). The former Representative from Cocktoberfest was, in better days, a staunch champion of the entertainment industry, and his words in the program highlight the importance of accurate portrayal of addicts and drunks: Read more on Hollywood Still Loves You, Mark Foley…
 

Teens Love Getting Schtupped by Old Congressmen

After the Mark Foley scandal, it was all but certain that even the most naive “civic minded” teenager would avoid the House and Senate page programs. Instead, becoming a page is more popular than ever before. Read more on Teens Love Getting Schtupped by Old Congressmen…
 

Wonk’d: Christmas With Kitty

This week’s Wonk’d features at least three sightings that we actually believe happened! Plus one joke + invasive picture of some dude on the metro and one almost-plausible Mark Foley sighting. Slim pickins, but hardly anyone’s been in town for two weeks. We expect things to pick up come January, but until then, enjoy John McCain, Katherine Harris, Megyn Kendall, and a “Jack Abramoff”, after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: Christmas With Kitty…
 

Congressional Sex Slaves!

Letters to the editor are just more fun out in the middle of nowhere. Take Chillicothe, Ohio (“Ohio’s First Capital!”). An elderly gentleman writes: You were so right about House Republicans finding no rules broken in the Mark Foley scandal. A Congressional page friend of mine told me in 1956 that the pages were for the purpose of serving the sexual appetites of Congress – obviously not subject to the ethical standards of mere mortals, much like many church leaders. Read more on Congressional Sex Slaves!…
 

Wonk’d: Pizza With a Guy Who Might Be Mark Foley

Wonk’d is in a festive mood and the famous-for-DC kids in this week’s installment have been spotted doing the exact same thing you’ve been doing these past few weeks: stuffing food in their faces at a hectic pace. Harold Ford likes upscale chain eateries, Tom Delay indulges his delusions of grandeur by lunching on the Senate side, and actual celebrity Matt Damon drops a few hundred bucks on a dinner he could’ve gotten for $4.99 from a local burrito joint. Lots more, including Dennis Hastert ordering the red and green curry, after you rip open the presents. Read more on Wonk’d: Pizza With a Guy Who Might Be Mark Foley…
 

House Investigation Bravely Cites Wonkette

Finally, the U.S. government has noted our Hard Work. We are Exhibit 11 in the House Ethics Committee’s investigation of the Mark Foley cover-up — an investigation that bravely concluded that nobody did anything wrong and the congresspeople on the committee are the bestest, smartest people anywhere. Read more on House Investigation Bravely Cites Wonkette…
 

104 Pages of Creepy

Still at the office? Perfect! Print up all 104 pages of the famous Mark Foley Maf54 instant messenger transcripts and read them aloud at your holiday party! It’s all free, and it’s all thanks to the House Ethics Committee (.pdf file). Read more on 104 Pages of Creepy…
 

GOP House Leadership Totally Innocent!

Finally, we can put Cocktober behind us: The Republican House Leadership has just concluded that the Republican House Leadership is totally innocent of wrongdoing in the Mark Foley cover-up. Hooray for justice! The “ethics panel” will announce this in a few minutes, and we are “live blogging” it. Read more on GOP House Leadership Totally Innocent!…
 

Vanity Fair Reports Rumor We Already Knew

They have a big-ol Mark Foley story in the issue that drops this week — big revelation is that the White House knew about the Page-fucking, and convinced Foley to drop out of the Senate race before the rest of the world figured it out. Which we heard (and wrote something or other about) back in Cocktober. Read more on Vanity Fair Reports Rumor We Already Knew…
 

Gossip Roundup: Kitty’s Revenge

* Heard on the Hill: Lieberman’s new flack: hack-of-all-trades Marhsall “Bullshit Moose” Whittmann. Only problem: he’s a Republican and Senator WALNUTS McCain’s strongest supporter. And he’s one helluva media whore… The Starbucks on New Jersey and E has this “customer testimonial” from “Timothy H., congressional page:” “When I bought a case of Starbucks coffee, the text messages stopped coming” … Former Tom Daschle flack starts Pro-Obama website, emails everyone on Hill about it… Katherine Harris news: “She’s sitting at home plotting her future and secretly hoping (praying?) that Vern’s election is overturned so that she can run again in ’08,” former Harris staffer says. Please, Jesus. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: The Youth of Today! Or, like a couple years ago: Gen X’ers in positions of mostly-ceremonial power! Rep. Adam Putnam, Aged 8! Some Rep.-elect named “Kirsten!” [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Esther Coopersmith holds a Thanksgiving Party for diplomats. Some of us just went to Galaxy Hut and sang karaoke, but that sounds cool too… A fond look back at the US before Iraq: Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ topped the charts, America thrilled to Eugene Levy’s embarrassing white-guy-rapping gimmick in Bringing Down the House. Truly a more innocent time… Senator whose state loves her the most: Olympia Snowe… Bob Novak went to the Panthers game with a young lady, didn’t have a very good time. [Examiner] * Page Six: NY AG-elect Andrew Cuomo hired Clinton FBI head/Whitewater obsessive Louis Freeh. [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Kitty’s Revenge…
 

Coulter, Foley Hate Voting, Love Hot Young Boys

Besides a likely addiction to uppers, what do Mark Foley and Ann Coulter have in common? No “I Voted” stickers for them: Mark Foley, the former U.S. congressman in rehab for alcohol and sex-related problems, didn’t send an absentee ballot request to the St. Lucie County elections office. Conservative pundit Ann Coulter, accused of voting in the wrong precinct earlier this year, didn’t cast her ballot, contributing further to the demise of the GOP in Congress Read more on Coulter, Foley Hate Voting, Love Hot Young Boys…
 

Foley Staffer Begs Repubs To Pay His Legal Bills

K Street Republicans were “flabbergasted” by an e-mail begging for handouts to cover disgraced Foley chief of staff Kirk Fordham’s legal bills. Even better, the e-mail was sent the morning after the Election Day Bloodbath. Read more on Foley Staffer Begs Repubs To Pay His Legal Bills…
 

Gossip Roundup: Spanking Fetishist Also Bad Teacher

Heard on the Hill: Mark Foley is out of “rehab.” The Arizona facility he went to treats alcoholism, “eating disorders, sexual addiction/compulsivity, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression” … Kirk Fordham, former Tom Reynolds and Foley CoS, is still hanging around the Hill, annoying fellow republicans… John Boehner demanded the Republican leadership sing him his self-penned “Birthday Song” … John Kerry downed Tequila shots with Marines at Finn MacCool’s. [Roll Call] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Spanking Fetishist Also Bad Teacher…
 

Daily Briefing: Pelosi Pwn’d

* Steny Hoyer elected House Majority Leader after a divisive inter-party campaign. Democrats now need to move on and show unity. Nancy Pelosi says, “Let the healing begin.” [WP, NYT, LAT] * Steny Hoyer’s not a man, he’s a Congressman. [WP, NYT] * Bush administration’s pick to head family-planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services is a strong opponent of the sexing. [WP] * “It was a preliminary inquiry before, but we found the basis to open up a criminal investigation,” report Florida authorities investigating Mark Foley. [WP] * Latest war funding request by Bush administration would make Iraq the most expensive conflict since WWII. [USAT] * John McCain files paperwork to open his presidential exploratory committee, blathers on about Iraq. [WP] * Beloved Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman has gone to that big free market in the sky. [WP, NYT, WSJ] Read more on Daily Briefing: Pelosi Pwn’d…
 

Farewell, Denny Hastert

No surprise, obviously, but let’s note for the record that Denny Hastert will resign as speaker. According to TIME, he’ll announce this week and possibly today. “The battle to succeed him will be bruising, as members attempt to allocate blame for the Foley mess,” the magazine says. Really? Why even bother? Just pick some unoffensive goon (there’s got to be one in the GOP) and let him preside over a very short lamest-of-ducks session and that’s that. Read more on Farewell, Denny Hastert…
 

Gossip Roundup: Clare Booth Loose

Reliable Source: Mark Foley had a cameo in a bad action movie, playing a confressman. The picture’s pretty great… Alberto Gonzales stopped by GW lawschool to lecture, arrest everyone. [WP] Yeas and Nays: The Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute “Great American Conservative Women” pinup calendar is finally out! Another great picture… Republicans be confident. [Examiner] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Clare Booth Loose…
 

Cocktober Road

It has been one of the most bountiful Cocktobers in recent memory. A very special thanks to Mark Foley, without whom none of this would’ve been possible. After the jump, a look back. Cocktober seems so long ago, but it was only yesterday. Join us, won’t you? Read more on Cocktober Road…
 

THEY FOUND FOLEY!

Brian Ross’ crack team of Blotters has once again taken the Foley Story to the next level. He’s not with the Scientology space monsters at all! Former Rep. Mark Foley checked himself into the Sierra Tucson Treatment Center in Arizona two days after he resigned from Congress in disgrace, ABC News has learned. Lawyers for Foley confirm he’s been an inpatient at the facility since Oct. 1. Actually, nobody found Foley. ABC News just got hold of a press release from Foley’s lawyers (PDF) that says he’s in the program until Halloween, please leave him alone, etc. He could still be anywhere on Earth, and is most likely following the Old 97’s around the country. Read more on THEY FOUND FOLEY!…