In our last episode of “TV News Producers Think All Black Guys Look Alike,” Fox News was caught showing video of Congressman John Conyers when they were actually talking about Congressman William Jefferson. One is the powerful House Judiciary Chairman, while the other is a crook from Louisiana. Both, however, are black men who wear suits in DC. MORE »

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* Heard on the Hill: Remember when that lady got hassled at the SOTU last year for her “Support the troops” shirt? Now that shirt is going to be in the Newseum. Rep. Gus Bilirakis regularly gets confused with his father, who used to have the seat… Rep. Fred Upton loves beer. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Remember the Scooter Libby trial? Sigh… Everyone wants a Marion Barry wax figure… Josh Bolten sang with Randy Travis at the Kuwaiti Embassy… Secret living room Thievery Corporation show party hosts revealed! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: The Weekly Standard’s Stephen Hayes is penning a 400-page blowjob of Dick Cheney… You’re apparently not allowed to wear a kilt on the floor of the Senate. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: A letter from USNews to Senate offices was checked for Anthrax… Joe Lockhart bought a huge Kalorama house the day after Election Day. [USN&WR]
* The Sleuth: “John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been sneaking over to the National Democratic Club to smoke.” [WP]

* Last Saturday, Thievery Corporation played a surprise 40th birthday party at some couple’s house in Virginia. The Upstate Life was the bartender, posts funny pictures. [The Upstate Life]
* This Thursday, 150 DC restaurants will donate between 25% and 100% of profits to a charity providing “home-delivered meals and groceries to local residents living with HIV/AIDS, cancer, and other illnesses.” [DCFUD]
* Blogger interviews COO of Bookswim, “Netflix for books.” [Ross Notes]
* “I’ve held off on being pleasured for so long, I’m probably as tight as a drum …. well, maybe not a drum (hardly) but you get my drift.” [Sugar N Spice]
* “Perhaps it’s fate that today is Marion Barry’s birthday, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom … Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution … but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, Marion Barry’s birthday will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: ‘We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!’ We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate Marion Barry’s birthday!” [The DC Universe]

If not for the awful, endless, horrible crime, D.C. might be like any other crumbling capital in a corrupt & bankrupt little nation. America’s Mayor(tm) wants to do something about Washington’s terrible crime. Or, actually, he wants you to do something about it.

Become one of Marion’s Angels, with a pistol, after the jump.

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* Don’t read this while eating dinner. [Mr. T in DC]
* Sincerely, please treat yourself to the vodka and vampire lair that is Russia House. [DCist]
* “Why are there so many ‘cunty’ women in DC?” And this, more puzzling complaint: “Bartenders who have no power in life and therefore abuse what little power they have over the distribution of alcohol. I just want a beer bitch. And no, you won’t get a tip from me.” [Attention Span of a Fly]
* Related: “The bartender came right up to our group and said ‘Hey, I’ve been acting like a jerk all night and I’m sorry. I got in a fight with my fiance and it wasn’t fair for me to take it out on you. What kind of shots would you like?’” [WonL]
* How cold is it? [why.i.hate.dc]
* Marion Barry evades taxes, gets lingam massage. [The DC Universe]

* Heard on the Hill: Alexandra Pelosi’s new documentary is screening tomorrow, people who want to suck up to mom Nancy will surely be there… The Senate has 16 women, all of them were on the Today Show, and Oxygen is throwing them a party before the SOTU. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Hungarian Ambassador Andras Simonyi had a dinner for David Lynch and Donovan, you missed weirdest night in Washington history. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: 24 reveals existence of secret CIA prison in Anacostia, Marion Barry unamused… This Barack Obama character is apparently popular or something… More college football bullshit. [Examiner]
* Rush and Molloy: People are upset that Amazon.com gave the WaPo’s bad review of Jimmy Carter’s book high placement. [NYDN]

To the hundreds of people standing outside the Covention Center last Saturday, MORE »

* Reliable Source: Marion Barry plays an angel, sings “Stormy Weather” in musical at Lincoln Theatre… Laura Bush’s cancer was “no big deal” … K-Fed was here for some wrestling thing. Also, we’re not supposed to call him “K-Fed.” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: “Draft Obama” group buys some tv ads in DC… Fatcat cigar smokers will find their way around the smoking ban. You’re shit outta luck… Danny Bonaduce does not believe in 9/11 conspiracies… New Ethics Committee chair Stephanie Tubbs Jones “has taken the third most privately paid trips of any member of Congress since 2000.” [Examiner]
* Page Six: “Lisa Belzberg doesn’t like being called the “girlfriend” of Harold Ford Jr.” [NYP]
* Rush & Mollor: Sean Penn “shocked” people by calling for the impeachment of Bush and Cheney in filthy language while accepting a free speech award. [NYDN]

* Oohhs and Aahhs soul food now open 11PM until 5AM on weekends. [DCFUD]
* The National Park Service cares more about folks who ride Segways on the National Mall than ride bikes. [WABA]
* “I suppose I should be flattered that reporters from the Washington City Paper and Columbia Journalism Review Daily have been investigating this blog. But, really, I’m just confused.” [circumlocator]
* List of Marion Barry hijinks from 2005-2006 season of Who Gives a Fuck? [a blog for the rest of us]

America’s Mayor ™ was arrested again on Saturday, but he miraculously avoided the usual DUI or drug charges. This is what they call a “Christmas Miracle.” MORE »