Wonkette

A week ago today, we bitterly presented the World’s Worst Wonk’d. The “D.C. celebrity sightings” consisted of George Will buying another fucking book at Borders, and a fireman who had once been on local teevee. We demanded that you people get it together, and you got it together! Huzzah for Wonkette Operatives! This week, Fred Thompson, Robert Mueller, Tom Ridge, Juan Williams, Marion Barry, Ben Bernanke, Ken Mehlman, Robert Novak, Dana Milbank, Mark Warner, and David Frum were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. The most voyeuristic fun ever in Wonkette’s Five Long Years of History, after the jump. MORE »

DC council member Marion “America’s Politician” Barry will endorse frisky, young upstart Barack Obama later this week, because Barack helps us forget the past. What’s so bad about the past, Mayor Crackhead? Nevertheless, hooray! MORE »

Former four-time DC Mayor and current Ward 8 Council Member Marion Barry is itching for some action these days — a rush of blood, a big PR bomb, maybe some crack. His chief of staff, Keith Andrew Perry, is willing to satisfy these urges and has selected as his target the DC Examiner, that veritable wellspring of editorial controversy. MORE »

Yeah it might’ve just been worth it to go to the Madame Tussaud’s museum opening just to hang a hilarious speech bubble above wax Marion Barry’s head. Thankfully someone else did it for them! And then BYT tried to interview the real Marion Barry, which went about as well as that has been going for them in general this week. [BYT]

“He may be homeless, wandering, carting around three school-aged kids, but Michael Jackson has a new friend: former imprisoned crack addict and Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry. And that’s good in a way, because he is being sued by an old friend, Prince Abdullah of Bahrain.” [FoxNews]

In our last episode of “TV News Producers Think All Black Guys Look Alike,” Fox News was caught showing video of Congressman John Conyers when they were actually talking about Congressman William Jefferson. One is the powerful House Judiciary Chairman, while the other is a crook from Louisiana. Both, however, are black men who wear suits in DC. MORE »

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* Heard on the Hill: Remember when that lady got hassled at the SOTU last year for her “Support the troops” shirt? Now that shirt is going to be in the Newseum. Rep. Gus Bilirakis regularly gets confused with his father, who used to have the seat… Rep. Fred Upton loves beer. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Remember the Scooter Libby trial? Sigh… Everyone wants a Marion Barry wax figure… Josh Bolten sang with Randy Travis at the Kuwaiti Embassy… Secret living room Thievery Corporation show party hosts revealed! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: The Weekly Standard’s Stephen Hayes is penning a 400-page blowjob of Dick Cheney… You’re apparently not allowed to wear a kilt on the floor of the Senate. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: A letter from USNews to Senate offices was checked for Anthrax… Joe Lockhart bought a huge Kalorama house the day after Election Day. [USN&WR]
* The Sleuth: “John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been sneaking over to the National Democratic Club to smoke.” [WP]