Ha ha, so, funny story: a traveling Marine packed enough ammunition and explosives in his checked luggage to blow up, hmm let’s say a Pliosaur, and nobody really noticed or appeared to care until his luggage was inspected by TSA workers during a layover in Boston.Thus concluded the first incident in recorded history when TSA goons did something useful. MORE »

In light of the Sinbad-Bosnia scandal, Hillary’s entire history of funny Tuff Guy statements is being reexamined. This process alone could endure well past Hillary’s lifetime. But here’s a fun treat: In 1994, Hillary says she thought about joining the Marines in 1975, but then the recruiter made robotic sexist statements about her, so she decided to become a Monster instead. MORE »

For all you libtards with “Bush Derangement Syndrome” out there who always call our president “Hitler,” we ask you this: Did Hitler dance and sing for the people? No, he was always yelly-yelly at everyone. George W. Bush just wants to sing a gay song with his male-stripper vocalists and dance for the press, and he will not let you haters try to bring him down, you negative nabobs of negativity. He’s got a song in his heart! [YouTube]

A few days ago, a shocking viral video showed a puppy being thrown off a cliff in Iraq by some Marine. We still think it was a stuffed animal. Either way, the humans continue to fight in Iraq, but the Marines will launch a full-scale investigation into this matter of the puppy. MORE »

The United States Marine Corps is a proud institution, and they would like you to know that. They would, um, also like you to consider joining, not that they have a recruiting problem at all. Nope, the whole war thing isn’t affecting their recruiting at all, which is why they’ve bought ad time during tonight’s American Idol episode and next week’s AFC championship on Fox. By the way, that AI ad time was estimated last season to cost about $750,000 for a 30-second spot. Wait, shoot, I lost my train of thought. Am I amused and cynical that the Marines are buying hugely expensive ad time on shows popular with today’s youth to try to drum up more recruits, or pissed that they’re buying more than a million dollars worth of it from Rupert Murdoch’s Fox? It’s so hard to decide sometimes. [PR Newswire, NY Times]

As has happened so many times throughout history, a powerful military force has decided to act on its own, ignoring the feeble government supposedly in charge of its troops — and this time, that weak, rotten power is Washington! The Marines are planning to leave Iraq, the New York Times reported today, but they haven’t bothered to tell the American government and its ostensible boss of the military, placeholder Secretary of Defense Robert “I wish I was back at Texas A&M” Gates. MORE »

* Yeah, we’ve never understood the dirty clothes on the floor thing, either. [Alice's Adventure Underground]
* “I’ll never complain about the Metro again”? You say that now …. [Yellow Is The Color...]
* Kids say the darndest things. [Sour N Sweet]
* Squirrels are just rats with cuter outfits. [This is Me, Honest]
* It was probably because they were too gay. Soldiers kissing bearded lips? Not in the Marines, HOO-AH. [DCist]

Iraq veteran and honorably discharged Marine Sgt. Adam Kokesh has been the Pentagon’s biggest public relations nightmare this year, because he’s some kind of magical Cindy Sheehan — people actually like him!

And while right-wingers had no problem mocking the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq, they have a tougher time mocking an actual living Marine male veteran who actually fought in the war they just write about on their blogs. Plus, you get the feeling he wouldn’t mind beating the shit out of, say, the entire staff of National Review Online … and that they’d probably enjoy it, too.

Find out what The Man is doing to silence Adam Kokesh, after the jump.

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* Jim Jeffords stole Walnuts! maverick thunder in 2001 and never gave it back. [QandO]
* Diane Feinstein: so many fuckups to distance herself from, so little time. [World Net Daily]
* Army happy to accept freshly-inked killers the Marines have rejected. [Vodka Pundit]
* James Inhofe hates U2 as much as you do. [C&L]
* Rudy took down Judy the first night. [Hotline on Call]
* Predictable Iowa voters go for the whitest candidate with a cock. [MoJo]
* New jib-jab cartoon that debuted at last night’s radio/teevee dinner. [jibjab]
* Howard Dean is less of a prick than before. Hazzzzzzzzzzah! [Roll Call]

The Marines at Quantico are fighting a savage war against terrorist garage-door openers in Prince William County, the Post reports today. By blasting the area around the base with powerful signals, the Marines have successfully kept old people homebound — with the garage doors unable to open, it’s only a matter of time before the elderly all starve to death. MORE »

We know Iraq is George W. Bush’s long-delayed personal Vietnam War, but this is getting ridiculous: America actually lost a Marine in Vietnam during Bush’s visit. MIAs in Vietnam again? Let’s rock it Apocalypse Now style!

The missing staff sergeant was a maintenance specialist assigned to the Marine One Presidential Helicopter detail. After a night out drinking with fellow Marines, the specialist “left his hotel on the back of a moped driven by a local national without telling anyone,” a Marine Corps spokeswoman confirmed to ABC News.

Despite his CO “suspecting foul play or terrorism” and shutting down various bars in Hanoi in the frantic search, the Marine was just out partying with a “local national” (hooker) and wasn’t even really AWOL as he was off duty for the night. MORE »