Wonkette

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, known among fellow Republicans as “Liberal Socialist Guy Who Does Kennedy,” made what he considered to be a “joke” to the latest UK edition of GQ: that marijuana is not a drug, “it’s a leaf.” Well HA HA HA! We the American people are so glad that you consider marijuana cigarettes to be a joke, Mr. Governor of Drugs (Drug Party-CA)! Your constituents will not stand for this anti-Jesusery. MORE »

You can say at least one thing about the quality of Senator Norm Coleman’s character: He surely had no intention of being a GOP politician when this college yearbook photo was taken in 1971. Not even the most brain-damaged pothead would be photographed like this if he had even the slightest intent of running for national office. This is the picture of a young man resigned to his fate at the auto body shop. MORE »

Over in Ireland, it’s apparently legal to bet any amount on anything at any time, a fact that presumably allows people to deal with the centuries of British oppression and, of course, the recent ban on smoking in pubs. One Irish bookmaker, named “Paddy Power” (it’s OK for Irish people to use the “p word”, but NOT YOU SASANACH), was taking bets on the next high-profile American to be arrested, and was giving 14-to-1 odds on “Al Gore.” MORE »

Not every Adult Services Business is a fancy operation like DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s escort service. The difference between $300 outcall and $275 incall is illustrated by this horrifying photograph and the accompanying news story:

HAGERSTOWN, Md. — An alleged dominatrix on the lam since her indictment in 2001 has been caught and returned to Virginia to face charges of prostitution and crimes against nature, police said. Patricia Helen Meehan, 55, also is charged with keeping a bawdy house and manufacturing marijuana ….

Meehan allegedly told a man who was considering buying a home in the neighborhood that she was a dominatrix and charged $275 an hour for her services. When police searched Meehan’s home, they found bondage instruments and sexual aids, Kennedy said.

So be careful out there, or you might wind up in a “bawdy house” where alchemists are committing “crimes against nature” such as “manufacturing marijuana” right next to where they keep the “sexual AIDS.” MORE »

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* Presidential contenders’ YouTube channels range from “mind-boggling” to “old-fart.” [PrezVid]
* Walnuts! now able to literally wipe his feet on Iraq. [Passport]
* Black-tie Gridiron dinner on Saturday night featured Robert Novak in the role he was born to play. [Firedoglake]
* Margaret Carlson always wanted, but never got Fred Thompson’s johnson. [Newsweek]
* Condoleeza Rice offers to pitch if Sean Hannity will catch. [Raw Story]
* Newt Gingrich’s life to resemble Spanish profanity immersion. [The Swamp]
* Bill Richardson is the “greenest” candidate. [TalkLeft]

* Democratic Presidential candidates traipse across the country calling on each other to denounce things, people. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* No one’s partying the night away in Chatta-vegas over President Bush’s tax-credit health insurance plan. [WP, NYT]
* Prince Harry will play soldier for a while in Iraq before going back to a life of leisure he neither earned nor deserves! [AP]
* Libby Trial’s focus on “the semantics of lying” totally screwing up chances for an Iran war. [WSJ]
* So, apparently DHS operates 325 “immigrant detention centers.” They are also, apparently, shitty places to be detained. [NYT]
* Loose coalition of “dudes on the couch” sues HHS and FDA for saying mean things about weed. [NYT]

* Republican resolutions opposing troop escalation are accumulating on the Senate floor, according to Arlen “Snowflake” Specter. [WP, NYT]
* Obama-plan-o-rama calls for all troops to be home from Iraq by Spring ‘08. [WP]
* Judith Miller was “nervous, confused, and agitated” on the witness stand. Turns out it was just pride, fucking with her. [WP, NYT, WSJ]
* Democrats pass spending bill under pressure from DC baseball fans. [WP, NYT]
* German and Italian governments issue indictments for the Jason Bournes in their countries. [LAT]
* Clinton buddy thinks its high time that high-guys got good life insurance. [WP]

* Barack Obama holds a secret meeting where his wife admits she’s just as turned on by power as every other political spouse on the planet. [Hotline on Call]
* “Official” blogger of the George Allen campaign dispenses advice on how to relate to bloggers during an election. Entirety of his comments entered into “do not do” section of campaign mangers’ brains. [Think Progress]
* Hillary Clinton continues taking little hush-hush baby steps towards a campaign EVERYONE KNOWS SHE’S RUNNING. [Hotline on Call]
* James Sensenbrenner’s streak of plans which backfire in his face to remain intact as DC gets voting representation. [Political Insider]
* Not Newt Gingrich, but economics wunderkind and Angelina Jolie safari partner Jeffery Sachs will be swept into the White House by popular demand. [Freakonomics]
* In Alaska, there ain’t much to do but take giant bong rips for Jesus, and screw. [Washington Wire]
* Something tells us the Mormon underwear jokes are going to be around for a while. [Rising Hegemon]
* Tom Friedman may be forced to lose the mustache in an attempt to hide from the mob that will be hunting the most ” morally bankrupt public intellectual burdening this country.” [Unclaimed Territory]

• George Allen’s campaign is broke, sends memo threatening 50 lashes to any staffer caught deserting their station. [Hotline On Call]

• NRCC held containment meetings while Pagefuckergate was still a twinkle in Brian Ross’s eye. [Talk Left]
• Today is the birthday of former President Warren G. “Original Regulator” Harding, best known for holding the title of “Worst President Ever” from 1921 through 2003. [This Day in Mythstory]
• OMFG! Barack Obama involved in shady deal! Tells crime boss, “I’ll mow your lawn if you mow mine.” [The Volokh Conspiracy]
• Tom DeLay defines torture as, “things Jackie Chan does to bad guys.” [Think Progress]
• New marijuana legislation on the West coast will require that police, “just be cool, man.” [MoJo Blog]
• Not that anyone will care, but all the details on Don “Choke ‘Em If Ya Got ‘Um” Sherwood should be available November 8th . [Political Wire]
• Hell, we’d just as soon vote for this guy as any of the other losers this year. [YouTube]

• In the list of Senators voting for the “torture bill,” one of the kids just doesn’t belong. [Lawyers, Guns, and Money]

• Waterboarding: less similar to wakeboarding than you thought. [David Corn]
• Thinking about Iraq makes Trent Lott’s brain hurt, doesn’t do it much. [Think Progress]
• Weedy Wonka gets busted in Oakland. [Hit & Run]
• Which means seminary students will be forced to actually smoke tobacco out of their “water pipes” this weekend. [Slice of Laodicea]
• Condoleezza Rice wants Oprah to know that only a woman can really satisfy a woman — but if she’s not down then some Canadian dude will do. [Gawker]
• George Allen biographer has hard time admitting she backed the wrong the horse. Garrett Graff nervously shuffles his feet. [Galleycat]

• Adrian Fenty wants to see the city’s people “get lifted.” [Fenty '06]
• “Why is it that I became almost offended at JR’s on Sunday by being called “exotic” not once, not twice but three times…. like I’m half peacock or something….. next time somebody’s going to get a fresh one in the pie hole.” [DC Gays of Our Lives]
• Fuck you, August. “Ann Frank wrote her last diary entry in August, and it was August when the first A-bomb was dropped…Babe Ruth, Princess Diana, Marilyn Monroe, and Elvis Presley all died in August.” [Till Human Voices Wake Us, and We Drown]
• Coyote Ugly has closed. “Don’t Just Get Drunk, Get Ugly” didn’t work out in Atlanta, Boston or Philadelphia either. [Diary of a Mad Asian Woman]
• “I may have to move to Louisiana and become a flood victim” in order to schtup Senator Mary Landrieu. [Media Concepts]

• In case there was still any doubt as to why MTV will never do a season of Real World in DC: a Francis Fukuyama/Charles Krauthammer blowjob scene. [The Corsair]

• If a journalist writes 4000 words on the relevance of journalism in the internet age, and every reader does the first-n-last paragraph scan, do the other 3900 words exist? [New Yorker]
• Referring to the large number of Boston police officers testing positive for marijuana, Urban League CEO says, “it seems like it’s a chronic problem.” [Boston Globe]
• Mention the Washington Time and bad puns spew forth like diarrhea from the mouth. [Fishbowl DC]

• Crime emergency continues as corn-rolled City-council-candidate-car-killer kicks out window, escapes police, vows Cropp is next. [Stop, Blog, And Roll]

• DC braces for the coming throngs of “an unholy army of undead mice.” [Pie Pants]
• Discovery Channel’s new marketing strategy involves catch phrase “I want a mother fucking shark up on this mother fucking building!” [I Am A Lefty; Silver Spring, Singular]
• “Screen On The Green” begins tonight as soon as the sun stops blazing, meaning you can start. [DCist]
• Wired editor and Web 2.0 ethos-definer Chris Anderson was, like everyone else, in a DC postpunk band. [Valleywag]