Wonkette

Back when he was a young pup, Barack Obama went to college. Some of his former classmates remember he was a supernice guy who stood up to menacing bums; others say he was aloof; and still others ask, “Barry who?” Such was the wonderful enigmatic palimpsest of Barack Obama back in the days when he wore “$5 military-surplus khakis and used leather jackets” and roomed with some guy who later became a loser due to his cocaine addiction. MORE »

Georgia state legislators are taking serious measures to curtail the dangerous sale of pot-flavored candy, saying it promotes use of the Devil Weed marijuana. And because this is the South, where every person’s name is a punch line, one of the prononents of the bill signed into law Wednesday was Senator Doug Stoner. MORE »

This sad lady does pot because her back esploded and she doesn’t want to be a criminal anymore. Note the strange time-lapse visual effects that make you, the viewer, experience the same strange “LSD trails” that are a hallmark of the dangerous drug called marijuana. Other effects include meth mouth, baby sales, and penile ossification. [Minnesotans for Compassionate Care/YouTube] MORE »

Betty Ford celebrates her 90th birthday today, and Wonkette offers up a hearty, nonalcoholic toast in her honor. For the 896 wonderful days of Gerald Ford’s presidency, this sassy dancing divorcee brought outspoken feminism and frank talk to the White House. And the pills, dear God, the pills and booze! MORE »

Iowa Senator Tom Harkin didn’t go nearly far enough when he suggested that smoking pot makes you sell your children. Thankfully we have anti-drug organization Above The Influence, which has created a series of documentaries tracking the behaviors of savage pot smokers on “Cannabis Isle.” Watch as this old white man goes out of his way to stare at two teens smoking pot in a basement by themselves, then spends hundreds of millions of dollars on new technologies to crack down on them. The War on Drugs is in full swing on Cannabis Isle. [Above the Influence via NORML]

Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin recently explained that medical marijuana cannot be legalized, because parents would sell their children to South Asian Neo-Pirates in order to get that dreaded “high fix.” But now some guy is selling a baby for $1,000 on Craigslist so he can buy more “methamphetamine.” Tom Harkin was right, and medical marijuana is to blame, along with libertarian hippies at Reason magazine who condone this sort of behavior so long as they get a high fix. [Local 6]

This David Paterson guy is a real piece of work. First he admits that when his marriage hit a rough patch he dated other women, instead of engaging the services of a high-dollar prostitute like any normal politician. And now instead of vehemently denying he knows anything about drugs he says he did them once, in his impetuous youth! MORE »

It’s 2008, and that teenager drug marijuana is still raping our children. But why does that have to be illegal? According to The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), some person wrote to Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin “asking him to justify why medicinal cannabis is still illegal” after the American College of Physicians recommended it shouldn’t be. It merited a hilarious reply from Harkin, which noted many of pot’s notorious doom scenarios: “the small child whose parents are so addicted to illegal drugs that they sell everything including perhaps their own children to obtain a fix.” Harkin knows the routine: smoke up, eat gyro, play Legend of Zelda, sell children to pirates for more pot, repeat. The full, horrifying letter, after the jump. MORE »