marijuana
Wonkette At Your Service: How Locked-Down Boston Area Stoners Can Survive Pre-4/20 Raids
As the rest of the country eagerly waits for the authorities to capture Dzhokhar Tsarnaev in order to bring some closure to this week of awful, Boston area residents remain under a strict lockdown that has been in effect for almost 12 hours now. As one would expect, a degree of cabin fever/stir-craziness is beginning [...]
Dennis Prager Urges Kids To Take Up Tobacco In Place Of Their Marijuana Cigarettes
Marijuana! The magical plant that is both directly responsible for over 85% of the original content found in the blogosphere and happens to be the root of all evil. Previous generations of Americans obtained their pot by growing it in their closets or buying gasoline-infused ditch weed from their sketchy cousin posted up in the [...]
David Frum Was Super-High When He Wrote This Column On Smoking Drugs
Marijuana is a SUPER RISKY drug you guys, we don’t know if you knew that, but David Frum is giving out free advice today about the dangers of marijuana, and how it leads to you not understanding your home loan and something about structural racism/classism in higher education. No, seriously, THIS IS WHAT HE IS [...]
Bill O’Reilly Has Some Thoughts About Asians, Pinheads
We now take a brief programming break from mourning the continuing state of affairs in Congress to mourning the continuing state of affairs on Fox News, where Bill O’Reilly has, startlingly, revealed that he might have some incorrect assumptions about American race relations. He has, bless his heart, moved on from Hispanic moochers and onto [...]
‘Don’t Worry About That,’ Cops Tell Women Before Giving Them Roadside Handies
Why is that cop putting on rubber gloves and coming towards me, you might be wondering next time you are pulled over for littering and live in Texas and see a cop coming towards you wearing rubber gloves. Oh THAT, don’t worry about that, just close your eyes and think of England! This is what [...]
Jimmy Carter Continues To Be Most Awesome Living Ex-President
All y’all with your Bubba hard-ons can leave right now until the next post comes on. Official Wonkette Editorial Policy proclaims Jimmy Carter the bitchinest, raddest, most fuckin’ greatest of all living ex-presidents and probably the dead ones too. Former President Jimmy Carter said that he favored legalizing marijuana during a panel discussion broadcast on [...]
Innovative Californians Discover Key To Boosting Voter Turnout: Free Weed
Your average American is far too savvy a consumer to just go and do things because it’s a “civic duty” or whatever. These are people who won’t even buy a 12-pack of soda unless it’s on an endcap at the supermarket and is being pushed at 50 percent off, so why should they go to [...]
Smoke Em If You Got Em: Appeals Court To Decide Whether You Can Get Hiiiiighhhh
In a CLEARLY partisan move, a federal court is going to review “evidence” and “science” and listen to a bunch of “doctors” so they can decide once and for all if the American people should be free to get highhhhhhh. For the first time in 20 years, a federal court will review scientific evidence on [...]
Elizabeth Warren Explains Why She Wants You To Be Free To Get Hiiiggggh
There are so many reasons to love Elizabeth Warren and now she has given us yet another reason, which is that she wants you to be free to get hiiiggggh. If you have cancer, that is. And a prescription. From a REAL doctor, not from a “Farmacy” like they have on every street corner in [...]
Is Paul Ryan On The Marijuana?
Guys, we’re concerned about Paul Ryan. As a father of a three-year-old girl, we’ve trained ourselves to be vigilant for all the signs your child could be using drugs: rapid changes in mood or behavior, anti-social tendencies, refusing to eat. (We’re 90 percent certain our daughter injects heroin into her eyeballs.) Paul Ryan shows none [...]
Head DEA Agent Sticking To Story: Jazz Drugs Will Make You Rape White Women Or Something (Video)
There was a video posted online yesterday, friends. A video showcasing such unparalleled gall, such an absurd devotion to nonsensical untruths, that it could have only come from one place: Congress. It is a video of Colorado Congressman Jared Polis taking a large, thick-streamed whiz on whatever credibility the Drug Enforcement Administration had left — [...]
Zany Washington Post Marijuana Story Contains Dangerous Levels Of Wordplay
Oh, Washington Post writer Emily Heil, we were going to make excuses for you, assuming you were some poor underpaid intern forced to churn out blog postlets for the Post’s “In The Loop” blog, which is different from all the other blogs the Post has, somehow, there’s probably a logic to it, but then we [...]
Mitt Romney Is Southern California’s One-Man Narc Squad
Country club gossip bulletin the New York Times has finally done the important journalistic work of sending a reporter down to southern California to lurk around the driveway of Mitt Romney’s beachfront La Jolla mansion and quiz the neighbors for dirt on all of his annoying domestic habits. It’s mostly standard suburban neighbor drama queen [...]
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