Ah, the weekend. Time for yr Wonkette to get away from the computer and relax. Maybe drink some beers with friends or go hiking in the California sun or spark up a nice fat bowl of medicinal marijuana – we suffer from a chronic health condition our doctor has diagnosed as paralyzing existential anxiety with […]

Purity Hero Sean Hannity took to the radio airwaves Tuesday to alert America to this profound insight: marijuana will kill you dead! As proof, Hannity offers a genuinely sad story from Colorado, about the 19-year-old who jumped off a 4th-floor balcony after eating a friend’s marijuana cookie. The autopsy listed marijuana intoxication as a significant […]

Good job on this ad, Medical Cannabis Network! It is actually funny! Reader, watch it! If you can’t, here is the SPOILER: We join a swarthy fellow with an Orson Welles mustache who is trying to sell us some black market sushi, and being real shady about it, like “Yo. You want sushi? I got […]

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has a profound insight into the cultural and medical reasons that make alcohol okay, while marijuana should not be decriminalized: “If I’m at a wedding reception here and somebody has a drink or two, most people wouldn’t say they’re wasted,” he said. “Most folks with marijuana wouldn’t be sitting around a […]

Well, dear readers, we have been BURNT! As Gateway Pundit guest blogger Kristinn Taylor reveals, Yr Wonkette ran a story Saturday noting that B. Barry Bamz looked a little worse for the wear in his Olympics interview with Bob Costas. And indeed, we asked if he was “high as fuck” or just really, really tired. […]

According to CBS Houston, “McGruff The Crime Dog Actor Sentenced To 16 Years For Pot, Grenade Launcher.” At first, we thought it was a Pot Grenade Launcher, which we hoped would be like one of those cool launchers they use at sportsball games to shoot free tee shirts into the crowd, except this would be […]

Hey, kids, here’s a new frontier in “constituent service” — when a college student wrote a letter to New Hampshire state Sen. Andy Sanborn (not to be confused with the “dick in a box” guy) arguing for the decriminalization of marijuana, the good lawmaker sent back a personal reply — and even did the student […]

At an annual meeting of sheriffs last week, Michele Leonhart, head of the Drug Enforcement Agency, reportedly “slammed” Barack Obama’s recent impassioned call for everybody to get hiiiiigh. According to a report in the Boston Herald, Leonhart told the group that she was frustrated with the Stoner in Chief’s tolerance of state marijuana laws, and […]

When the New Yorker came out with its nine hundred thousand two hundred forty seven word piece on Barack Obama, gentleman scholar, we all had a fine time reading some excerpts. The one that most people focused on, including us because that was the part someone before us had excerpted, was Ol’ Perfesser saying incredibly […]

David Remnick wrote a million or so words about Barack Obama in the New Yorker this week, and several of those words were about the loco weed. And what did The POTUS say about the pot for us? “As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a […]

Nancy Grace, who never met a murdered child she couldn’t lick her lips over in slavering glee, has some Thoughts on The Pot, and they are that marijuana will make you murder and strangle and shoot your whole family. Tell us something we don’t know, Nancy! Before starting on her marihuana-induced psychosis about all the […]

Welcome, wonkeesters, to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we hose down the news, filter out the stories that weren’t quite worth a whole post but too stoopid to ignore altogether, spray the whole mess with cheap booze, and bring you the runoff. Enjoy! Our first story violates the entire premise of […]

Baboon panniculus Emily Miller of the Washington Times must have been super-jealous that Yr Wonkette already judged S.E. Cupp author of the dumbest column of 2014, because here she is already trying to get us to reconsider. To which we can only say, ladies, don’t fight! You are both special snowflakes with the analytical skills […]

Duuuuuudes. Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the (*koff!*) weekly feature where we roll up whatever seeds and stems are left from stories that weren’t quite compelling enough to make a full post, but too stoopid to ignore altogether, and then we, uhhhh… hahahahahaha Yeah, we totally do, man. Our first story probably could […]

Nostalgic for the days of Carrie Nation? Want to protect hearth and home from the Sorrows of Drink, or weed, or the Pokémans addiction? Then you may want to get yourself signed up for the Women’s Christian Temperance Union, which is still somehow a going concern 80 years after the end of Prohibition. And since […]