marie antoinette

In shocking, off-script comments, Barack Obama yesterday all but admitted that rumors of his cocaine habit are 100% true. At a White House event celebrating “gay” Pride Month Monday, the President, whose college grades we’ve still never seen, made a reference to the secret ingredients that he has ordered retiring White House executive pastry chef […]

We mock tech people a lot here at Happy Wonk Lifestyle Village, but while we’re mocking them for employing a staff of tech dudebros, tech people at the top of the pyramid are becoming offensive levels of rich, like Yahoo’s former COO, who had $58 million to dry his tears when they canned him. Henrique […]

Those damned Obamas with their dogs eating imaginary steak off bone china (get it???) and their fancy-schmancy designer frocks! Something must be done to bring their wild living down to earth, because they got all fancied up for a formal state dinner for that man from Frenchietown, just like every other president ever, but that […]

The Daily Caller’s resident Speaker of Truth to Black Power and professional troll Neil Munro just wants you to know how outrageous it is that the Obamas have dogs and nice things: Poverty and unemployment are at near-record levels, the economy is stalled, and a record 47 million Americans are on food stamps, yet aides […]

We guess Barack Obama must have mentioned God in his Thanksgiving proclamation this year, since we haven’t seen a million angry blog posts bitching about it. (And there it is — “we rise or fall as one Nation, under God” — a blatant attempt to make up for his Gettysburg libel, too.*) Thankfully, even if […]

Go to the kitchen and fix some macaroni and cut-up hot dog’s, Michelle Obama, there is a new Marie Antoinette in town running up shocking tabs on the taxpayers’ dime — one hundred million dimes? One thousand dimes? Somewhere in between? MATH. And that someone is Old Handsome Stupid Dumb Jerk Joe Biden, who thinks […]

It’s that time of year again! Time for the Neiman Marcus Fantasy Christmas Book of Charming Gifts for the guy at Papa Johns! Can you stand the excitement? Neither can we! But while there are plenty of stupid ways to blow the greasy wads of cash that have turned you from human being to Donald […]

Why hello, FLOTUS fans. Have you been wondering what your First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama has been up to the past few weeks? Anything particularly scandalous aside from hanging out on Pinterest looking at pictures of smoothies and going around, giving advice to hopelessly unemployed college graduates? Oh, here is something to freak out about: […]

Did you get that? We hope you got that. It is pretty subtle, we know, as we at Wonket are the souls of subtlety and modesty and also not being vulgar. What we were trying to intimate in our clever headline is that the Perfect and Off-Limits Virgin Mother Ann Romney is now just being […]

Ol’ moneybags Mitt Romney is estimated to be worth over $250 million, a rather grotesque embarrassment of riches and presumably the reason why Mittens refuses to release his tax returns, in hope of avoiding a couple of news cycles’ worth of “How many thousands of struggling homeowners could Mitt Romney’s wealth instantly save from foreclosure, […]