Tag Archives: maricopa county

  No Worries; He's Only Racist Against Mexicans

Joe Arpaio Happy To Guard Black Churches, Whether They Want Him Or Not

Totally an act of kindness, not publicity seeking
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, never one to let a good tragedy go to waste, stepped up in front of cameras this weekend and vowed to send armed patrols to guard black churches, although a number of Phoenix-area ministers protested the offer of “help” from a man who’s being prosecuted for contempt of court in a racial profiling case. Read more on Joe Arpaio Happy To Guard Black Churches, Whether They Want Him Or Not…
  Just What The Doctor Ordered

Ted Nugent Unravels Veteran Suicide Epidemic: Obama Did It

Why is he flashing Muslim gang signs?
Remember how a couple months back, Congress finally accomplished something weird and passed, unanimously, the Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans Act — named after a veteran who killed himself in 2011 — which President Obama signed into law early in February? The bill could have passed sooner, but retiring Sen. Tom Coburn personally blocked it until he finally left the Senate at the beginning of the new congressional term. It was a rare moment of bipartisan agreement, expanding outreach, mental health services, and peer support for Iraq and Afghanistan vets suffering from PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, unemployment, and other issues that contribute to an appalling suicide rate of approximately 22 vets daily. Read more on Ted Nugent Unravels Veteran Suicide Epidemic: Obama Did It…
  A Plague O' Both Your Houses

Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?

Please don't send me to the Bad Kennel!
Now here’s a moral quandary for you: Who are the least loathsome characters in this little drama playing out in Maricopa County, Arizona? Is it Austin and Logan Flake, who were temporarily in charge of a dog-boarding facility last summer when 21 dogs died of heat exhaustion after the air conditioning failed in a shed where the dogs were housed? Probably not! But that would leave as the least loathsome character Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, so … [BRAINS EXPLODE]. Read more on Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?…
  All Dogs Go To Phoenix

Arizona Senator’s Dog-Neglecting Son Goes Free For Now, Vows To Find Real Killer

Tired of stories about cops getting away with killing human beings and escaping prosecution? Here’s a story of private citizens getting away with killing 21 dogs and escaping prosecution. You’re welcome. Oh, and the private citizens happen to be the son and daughter-in-law of Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake, although only an embittered cynic would think that fact played any role in the decision to (at least temporarily) drop animal cruelty charges against Austin and Logan Flake. Read more on Arizona Senator’s Dog-Neglecting Son Goes Free For Now, Vows To Find Real Killer…
  Tomorrow They're Back To Being Criminal Scum

Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Veterans Day Sadface : ( Edition

Oh, that's ... nice?
From the tweetosphere today, this puzzling image of Sheriff Joe serving cake to those who are serving time in one of his Monuments to Shame. Our only question: Is the cake made of half-spoiled bologna? Read more on Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Veterans Day Sadface : ( Edition…
  Ballot Recital

Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

It's almost as if he thought he wasn't breaking the law or something!
Finally, the right has incontrovertible evidence of voting fraud! Democrats say it’s rare, but here is the video that proves just how real and scary it is: “Liberal activist caught on video stuffing hundreds of ballots.” Or, from some of the more responsible rightwing sites who are pretending to hedge a little, “This Video Appears To Show A Guy Stuffing Hundreds Of Ballots Into A Ballot Box.” Read more on Latino Guy Delivers Absentee Ballots In Arizona. You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next….
  welfare kings

Arizona Republican Resigns Just For Trying To Save America With Rice And Beans And No Babies For Poors

Russell Pearce is a man with a vision. He is also a man with an AM radio show. The recalled Arizona Senate leader, architect of the “papers please” immigration law — and, until his sudden resignation late Sunday night, state GOP vice chair — recently took to the airwaves to fantasize about what it would be like if he was in charge, free to save America from the scourge of the needy with the help of home TV inspections and forced sterilizations. Read more on Arizona Republican Resigns Just For Trying To Save America With Rice And Beans And No Babies For Poors…
  also circuses

Joe Arpaio Gives Flag-Murdering Prisoners Only Bread & Water, Protecting Future Of America, His Career

It’s been a little while since we last checked in with Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, America’s Most Publicized Sheriff. The Arizona hero undertook a very important program of mandatory love of country in the jail last November, playing the National Anthem every morning and “God Bless America” every night, and placing flags in every cell. And then 38 prisoners handed Joe Arpaio a beautiful re-election tool gift by obligingly responding to his forced patriotism campaign by defacing those very American flags, as of course he surely hoped they would. So now, the flag-disrespecting Bad Guys will get only bread and water for a week, to show that Sheriff Joe is Tough. “These inmates have destroyed the American flag that was placed in their cells,” Arpaio said. “Tearing them, writing on them, stepping on them, throwing them in the toilet, trash or wherever they feel. It’s a disgrace … this is government property that they are destroying, and we will take action against those who act this way.” Hell, if nobody had trashed their flags, Arpaio might have had to pay some of them to do so. Read more on Joe Arpaio Gives Flag-Murdering Prisoners Only Bread & Water, Protecting Future Of America, His Career…
  media circus

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Pays Out Millions For Loving Constitution Too Much, Jailing Journalists In Middle Of The Night

Mike Lacey and Jim Larkin are pretty famous for being dicks* and buying all the newspapers and then all the people who made the newspapers run out the door screaming. (Me. I ran out the door screaming.) Well, they did a little journalisming once, about Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, and he arrested them, in the middle of the night, for doing journalism about him! It was sort of hilarious, if you love the comedy stylings of Middle East dictatorships! Read more on Sheriff Joe Arpaio Pays Out Millions For Loving Constitution Too Much, Jailing Journalists In Middle Of The Night…
  posse in effect

Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Posse Just Lousy With ‘Bad Guys With Guns’

Are you a person of the child-having persuasion? Perhaps a little school-aged darling? Do you have the extreme misfortune to live in Maricopa County, AZ? (Dear god we hope not and if you do we are sorry.) If you are all these things together, wouldn’t you just feel cozy and awesome and safe if Sheriff Joe Arpaio sent his armed volunteer posse to your kid’s school without, well, checking with the school? You’re fine with it? That’s cool. What if we told you Sheriff Joe’s posse is basically “Sons of Anarchy,” but without the nice? Read more on Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Posse Just Lousy With ‘Bad Guys With Guns’…
  Votageddon 2012 Update

Arizona Taking Even Longer To Count Votes Than Florida, Which May Get Unearned Sense Of Competence

Arizona appears to be ahead in the race to the bottom of the electoral-competence barrel, yay! Nearly a week after the election, hundreds of thousands of votes were still waiting to be tallied. To the surprise of absolutely no one, the mess appears to be at least in part a result of the state’s efforts to suppress minority voting enhance ballot security, resulting in a large number of provisional ballots that must be verified by hand. Early votes also make up a large portion of the uncounted ballots, which you would think is a little odd since they were, you know, early and stuff. Read more on Arizona Taking Even Longer To Count Votes Than Florida, Which May Get Unearned Sense Of Competence…
  A small victory for America

Joe Arpaio Cancels Birtherpalooza Festival When No One Buys Tickets

Useless old spite bitch Joe Arpaio was planning a big smelly Birtherfest for September 22, but now it looks like instead of hanging out with Pat Boone (who is still alive, apparently?) and heroic order-disobeying Army doctor Terry Lakin, he will just have to spend the day doing his job as Maricopa County Sheriff instead, because the event was cancelled due to abysmal ticket sales. Read more on Joe Arpaio Cancels Birtherpalooza Festival When No One Buys Tickets…
  republicans in the news

Joe Arpaio Fine With Sex-Crimes As Long As They’re Against Illegals

GAH. When we pleaded with the universe last week for leading insane racist and pink panty queen Joe Arpaio to be the next high-profile Republican sheriff to become embroiled in a “ghey sex for meth” scandal, we made our offhanded Xmas wish sort of figuring that was the worst the universe could do on the sex crimes scale even where Joe Arpaio is concerned. How naïve of us, forgetting that we are talking about one of the most awful individuals in America today: the Associated Press turned up four hundred sex crimes reported to Arpaio’s office that he… eh, didn’t really bother to investigate, including “dozens of child molestations” that met with a delete key for minor victims with the wrong skin color. Read more on Joe Arpaio Fine With Sex-Crimes As Long As They’re Against Illegals…
  haters gotta make a buck

Arizona Sheriff Being Sued by Obama Learns Obama Birth Certificate a Fake

Arizona teabagger king Sheriff Joe Arpaio is a vindictive racist gopher accused of misspending $99 million in public funds in the free time he does not spend playing William Tell with the illegal immigrants he captures and stores in what he affectionately calls his desert “concentration camps,” all of which might leave an average hater stretched pretty thin. But according to some breaking birther news spamming our inbox, Arpaio has been “forced” to use his (TAXPAYER-FUNDED) office to open an investigation into Barack Obama’s birth certificate, which is “within his jurisdiction” because he is also being sued by the Obama Justice Department.  Read more on Arizona Sheriff Being Sued by Obama Learns Obama Birth Certificate a Fake…