Wonkette

This week, Dave Chapelle, Carl Levin, Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, Grover Norquist, Margaret Spellings, Ann Gillespie, Rusty, Chris Matthews and Masi Oka were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

MORE »

Education Secretary/Jeopardy loser/genial idiot Margaret Spellings stopped by the Post the other day to chat about NCLB and student loans but instead they asked about when Karl Rove asked her out and then they made her cry. The crying came first, when they asked a pointless softball about how the President is secretly a very nice man and Spellings wistfully recalled the day he consoled a sad Texas official (see — it’s the WARMTH thing, he plays nicey-nicey with everyone and still they demand more) who was sad over the death of a colleague in Bush’s popular “electric chair.” MORE »

* Stephen Hadley and Josh Bolten are bringing their moms to meet the queen tonight, Condi’s banging bringing nobody. [The Swamp]
* Barry Hussein, the terrorists’ candidate, not pissed at Rush Limbaugh calling him a “Magic Negro.” [Political Punch]
* George Voinovich finds out that Colin Powell ain’t got no job, ain’t got shit to do, and likes it that way. [Columbus Dispatch]
* Retarded boy in retarded state sings about his love for Bush. [KUTV]
* Americans are bored of lying to pollsters. [Freakonomics]
* Republicans try to explain why they suck so bad at using ‘puters. [TechRepublican]
* Only dumbasses read blogs; go turn on the teevee. [FDL]

Education Secretary (and Jeopardy loser) Margaret Spellings: MORE »

Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings appeared on Celebrity Jeopardy last night. She lost. By a lot. This screenshot comes just after the end of the Double Jeopardy round, when the imminent loss was most painfully apparent. She lost to (in the words of outraged Wonkette emailers) either “David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap” or “Lenny from Laverne and Shirley” (better those two than Nigel Tufnel and Squiggy, we suppose). Two of those emails are reprinted after the jump.

MORE »

* Reliable Source: Diplomats be having parties. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Education Sec. Margaret Spellings was on “Celebrity” Jeopardy, set to air today. It will settle definitively and objectively whether she’s purposefully mendacious or just dumb… “The Congressional Club, the 98-year-old organization of congressional spouses, held its orientation for new wives and husbands” … “Davis” is still the most common surname in Congress… The National Capital Area Chapter of the Annual Leukemia & Lymphoma’s February $1,000/plate benefit will feature “entertainment” from Bill Cosby and Hootie and the goddamn Blowfish… The Madison Club rush was alarming dry. Mole claims “this year’s rush goal was to bring in more brunettes.” [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Saddest story ever: Roast of Bill Frist fails miserably when no one can think of a single funny story about him. We can think of a couple good ones… Conrad Burns continues to lose his mind, attack all reporters who dare approach him… Seersucker day in grave danger after John Cornyn ruins his suit… Katherine Harris is in this month’s Playboy, but not in the way you’re thinking, sicko. [The Hill]

• Reliable Source: Rich lady kicked out of Country Club, doesn’t blame fellow rich people. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: President Bush is a shitty, overbearing wedding planner. Also, “the president is anti-dancing.” [Examiner]
• Washington Whispers: Education Secretary Margaret Spellings apparently qualifies for “Celebrity Jeopardy.” She will partner with 100 black men… White House people are pretending Newt Gingrich could ever be president… former Senator Fred Thompson is filling in for cantankerous old kook Paul Harvey… Howard Dean hate hate hates Fox News, kinda likes Chris Wallace. [USN&WR]
• Rush and Molloy: Hillary Clinton lost 18 pounds. Still evil. [NYDN]

“…and a little lady.”