Wonkette

This week, Ron Paul (Twice!), Dana Delany, Gary Sinise, Hayden Panettiere, William Cohen, Margaret Carlson and Jay Carney were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

* Presidential contenders’ YouTube channels range from “mind-boggling” to “old-fart.” [PrezVid]
* Walnuts! now able to literally wipe his feet on Iraq. [Passport]
* Black-tie Gridiron dinner on Saturday night featured Robert Novak in the role he was born to play. [Firedoglake]
* Margaret Carlson always wanted, but never got Fred Thompson’s johnson. [Newsweek]
* Condoleeza Rice offers to pitch if Sean Hannity will catch. [Raw Story]
* Newt Gingrich’s life to resemble Spanish profanity immersion. [The Swamp]
* Bill Richardson is the “greenest” candidate. [TalkLeft]

“Each and every page is watermarked with the baby Jesus’ tears.”

God bless the Book Party Season. We haven’t paid for a drink in weeks. Even, surprisingly, at the party last night for John Ashcroft’s Never Again: How America Got Her Groove Back.

After the jump, our exclusive report, with even more exclusive pictures from our very own Intern Nick.

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Spotted this week were some damn fine Americans, with a whole lot of shiny metal at home on their mantels. Mia Hamm has her World Cup trophies, Anderson Cooper has his Emmy, Michael Hayden has all that weird military stuff on his shirt, and Jimmy Carter has that thing they call a Nobel. Not everyone can be number one, though, so just enjoy what you can — like Donald Rumsfeld and his juicy steaks, or Antonin Scalia and his fancy car. Feed your need for life envy; there are lots more people richer than you. Check out the sightings, after the jump.

Oh, and intern season is here! It sure is great that just as soon as the laminate dries on their cute little “109th Congress Intern” badges, they’re off and sending us tips. Act like an intern and send in your own via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, and the name of the fancy pants you spotted. We won’t pay you anything, just like real interns!

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* Reliable Source: Bush will divert Air Force One today to vote in the Texas primary. . . David Boies‘ wife chartered two planes to bring 50 of his best friends –including Tom Brokaw, Charlie Rose, Ted Olsen, Walter Isaacson, Tom Friedman, Ben Bradlee, Sally Quinn and Margaret Carlson– to Vegas for his surprise 65th birthday party. . . Alan Greenspan turned 80 yesterday; book advance could reach $8m. . . George Stephanopoulos gets manicures. . . Jenna Bush dined at the Capital Grille on Saturday. . . Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass.) attended the Oscars. . . Martin Sheen seen praying at St. Stephen’s Church. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) has cast 17,532 roll-call votes. [The Hill]
* Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Katie Holmes‘ character in “Thank You for Smoking” was inspired by Maureen Dowd. [NYDN]

Editors’ note: Don’t miss Ana Marie Cox’s Washington Post live chat, starting today at 11:30 AM. You can access it here, where you can also find a link for submitting questions to the Original Wonkette about BlackBerry disaster averted. Happy chatting!

Chatology this week slightly enlivened by the appearance of Stephen Colbert, though it was offset by Chairman of Joint Chiefs Peter Pace doing a half-Ginsburg; he has the kind of whispery monotone that made us fall asleep during filmstrips in health class. Most notable segment: Bill Kristol channeling Arianna Huffington in his disappointment in the administration, causing massive freakout on the Fox set and Chris Wallace to utter the Quote of the Week: “My whole universe has been rocked.”

Top topics: Potential (or ongoing?) civil war in Iraq; Katrina tapes; Dubai port deal.

One hit wonders: Two hits for the criminal investigation into Pat Tillman’s death (MTP and FNS); Oscar talk on “This Week”

Quotes to live by:
• Stephen Colbert on his Oscar expectation: “a lot of jokes [about] abortion… it’s a funny word, like guacamole.”
• Peter Pace moderates his view on Iraq: “I wouldn’t put a great big smiley face on it.”
• Juan Williams on DHS/FEMA infighting: “I’m going to put that off to two big boys having something in the back yard.” Well, someone saw “Brokeback Mountain.”

Full coverage continues after the jump.

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