Tag: Marcus Bachmann

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Michele Bachmann Knows Jesus Told Her To Jump Huma Abedin’s Muslim Bones

Does Michele Bachmann regret being the most insane congresslady ever? Heck no, she was just doing the Lord's work!
Daughter prays as Father stews over gay homosexuals pulling the pizza from his cold dead hands.

Pizza Bigots Sharing Dough With Florist Bigot, Like Good Gay-Hating Jesus Would Do

The Deliverance cast members who own that Indiana fag-hatin' pizza hole called Memories raised over $840,000 in bigot money on GoFundMe, for taking the bold stand that, were a gay or lesbian couple to visit them and say "please, our...
We will always love you, The Bachmanns

Jerk Obama Laughed At Michele Bachmann’s Great Idea To Bomb Iran, What A Jerk

Man, we are really going to miss Rep. Michele Bachmann. And not just because of her fabulous fashion sense and even more fabulous husband sense, or her riveting speeches on how much she loves God and freedom, but also...
She's real something all right

A Children’s Treasury Of ‘Normal Real Person’ Michele Bachmann

While watching soon-to-be-former-Rep. Michele Bachmann tell the Values Voter Summit Friday morning that she is a "normal real person," the sense of just how great a source of comedy we are losing with her upcoming retirement really hit home. Is there...

Marcus Bachmann Rears Head To Remind Us He Exists, Still Wants To Shame Gays

We know, we know. You're chock full of Michele Bachmann derp. Couldn't eat another bite, really. But have you noshed on any nonsense from Marcus Bachmann lately? Yes, the gentler more feminine half of the Bachmann marriage gets overshadowed...

The Supreme Court Was So Busy Yesterday They Forgot To Wreck The Lives Of Gay Kids

How was your day yesterday? Do you still have a stick of furniture left unbroken after the twin-barreled double fun dose of bullshit you got from the Supreme Court? Neither do we! So as you can imagine, we're grasping...

Fox News Was Sane On Two Occasions Yesterday And We Don’t Know How To Feel About It

We're not sure how we feel about the fact that Fox News had not one, but two, segments yesterday in which their hosts excoriated some of the derpier parts of the right wing. On the one hand, hahahahaha. On...

What If Ex-Gay Therapy Actually Worked?

Science Fiction! OK, Science-ish Fiction? Not-at-all-Science Fiction. YOU GUYS ARE BUSTING MY BALLS, JESUS! Well, Jesus, exactly, specifically that weird Jesus thing where they think they can make the hairdressers straight, because it worked for Marcus Bachmann, amiright? (Don't...

13 Brave Americans Who Should Be Your New Stephen Colbert

CBS has announced that Stephen Colbert will replace David Letterman on "The Late Show," leaving one really important question unanswered: if Stephen Colbert becomes David Letterman, who then will be Stephen Colbert? Never fear. We've compiled an incisive and...

Attention! Achtung! Doctor Says Listening To Adele Makes You Gay!

Normally we do not highlight things that are going to air on Limey Socialist BBC TV, but for this we'll make an exception, because this poor openly gay UK doctor set himself the task of coming to America to...

Marcus Bachmann’s Christian Counseling Practice Has New Name, Is Surprisingly Still In Existence

You gotta hand it to good old sad old Marcus Bachmann. He takes a licking (ewww now we have that image in our head and we HATE us) and keeps on ticking. After the homosexxicans at Truth Wins Out...

Super Nice Time! Pray-Away-The-Gay Group Exodus International Admits They Were Jerks, Are Very Sorry, Will Close!

There’s not much to say about this except HOLY SHIT! YES! WOW! WOOOO! THIS IS AMAZING! WE ARE CRYING A LITTLE! No, Joe Biden is not sexting us, it’s BETTER! Exodus International, an organization founded to “help” LGBT people...

Marcus Bachmann Has A Secret

Well just look what beloved old giggling walrus Marcus Bachmann has sent to our inbox marked with subject line: "Shhh... Don't tell Michelle." GO ON? Okay that was it, we just wanted to improve your Thursday afternoon with a...

Michele Bachmann Leaves ‘Gay Marcus’ Out of Family Xmas Video

Oh look, Michele Bachmann doesn't even know the names of the random "children" she assembled to make this dumb Christmas video to remind everyone that her gay husband Marcus is so gay that he's not even allowed in the...

Homophobic Anti-Robot Bachmann Thugs Bully Gay Iowa Robot

It was another day of thuggery on the Iowa campaign trail as Michele Bachmann's remaining followers mercilessly booed and taunted a sad gay robot. The pudgy homosexual android just wanted to make a case for itself, but the slob...

Marcus Bachmann Asks Gay Guy to Pay For Services Not Performed

Your Wonkette reporter of homosexuals is very sad to report that Republican presidential candidate and famous Congresslady Michele Bachmann's silver-maned heterosexual dreamboat needs some cash. $150, to be exact. No, it is not for a beautiful new wig or...