marco rubio
Lady Republicans Willfully Refuse To Recognize Phoniness Of ‘War On Women’ In VAWA Vote
“We face an abundance of hard choices,” said Ol’ Walnuts, John McCain, discussing the Senate’s vote to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act. “Divisive slogans and declaring of phony wars are intended to avoid those hard choices and to escape paying a political price for doing so.” It is good to know that the War [...]
Marco Rubio Says He’d Reject VP Offer But Is Maybe Lying?
Marco Rubio, who insists repeatedly that he has little interest in the vice presidency, continues to accept every fluffy interview that offers him a platform to talk about the vice presidency. Check out this most recent, sorta definitive one with Major Garrett, who asked him, “So, if Mitt Romney asks, you will you say no?” [...]
Al Franken Lures Filibuster-Proof Majority of Senators With Secret Gifts
How do you trick 61 U.S. Senators into hanging out for a few hours without an eruption of bloodshed? You promise them a mystery holiday treat! It works on children, so why not? A very mischievous Al Franken snuck in a new “Secret Santa clause” to the Senate’s bazillion page protocol in an effort to [...]
Marco Rubio Now Says He Has Nothing To Do With Tea Party
When a French TV station set out to understand the American phenomenon known as the tea party, it sent a reporter to Florida, down a dusty country road, past a bug-swarmed pond, and into a Pasco County pasture filled with people waving American flags. It was Oct. 30, three days before Election Day. The crowd [...]
Teapocalypse Now: Liveblogging the 2010 Midterms, Part II
It’s 8 p.m. on the East Coast and probably midnight tomorrow on the Alaskan West Coast, so let’s begin the second awful installment of America’s favorite liberal moan temple, the Wonkette Midterms 2010 Liveblogging Challenge! So far, Republicans have won important Senate seats such as the Rand Paul seat and the Rob Portman seat. Will [...]
Charlie Crist Likes To Make Anagrams and Kendrick Meek Is On a Boat(s)
It’s ad season in the “best Senate race ever,” that one in Florida. SO WHAT IS EVERYONE’S POSITION ON THE MOSK? They don’t say, even though that is the most important Florida issue you can talk about in Florida ads.
Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!
Ha ha, so a couple of your Wonkette contributors were jabbering all day about doing liveblogging, and your editor said okay great but don’t kill yourselves because these “couple of primary/runoff things somewhere” do not exactly leave the nation or even the Wonkette Readership spellbound. And then of course nobody showed up to liveblog at [...]
Old Jews Will Make Billionaire Jeff Greene Your New Florida Senator
Florida Democratic Senate candidate Jeff Greene has landed himself a lengthy profile in the scummy Weigel-less Washington Post today. Who is Jeff Greene? He is not, as far as we can tell, related to Alvin Greene. But he’s best friends with Mike Tyson, he’s sworn enemies with Ron Howard, and he has a good shot [...]
Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit
America’s favorite recently-married orange Floridian, Governor Charlie Crist, had to quit the Republican Party because the teabaggers didn’t want him to be the new U.S. senator. Why do teabaggers hate Republicans so much? Doesn’t matter! Charlie now has a healthy lead in the three-way or four-way race for Senate, while dumb wingnut Marco Rubio is [...]
Florida Update: Democrats Now Have Permission To Vote For Charlie Crist
Popular moderate orange-skinned married-to-a-lady-now Republican Governor Charlie Crist was knocked out of the Florida GOP Senate primary by angry teabaggers and their angry Tea Party candidate Marco Rubio, and now the “independent” Crist is looking pretty good to Democrats. Why? Well mostly because some insane rich slob has bought his way onto the Democratic ticket, [...]
Ex-Florida GOP Chair Arrested For Something Involving Large Sums Of Illegal Money
Former chair of the Florida Republican Party Jim Greer, most “famous” nationally for flipping out over Obama’s socialist plan to tell American children “education is good for you” on their first day of school last year, was “arrested Wednesday morning at his home, though charges against the disgraced chairman were not immediately available.” Indeed, anyone [...]
Strange Market-Shorting Billionaire Monster Would Also Like To Be Florida’s Senator
Just as the months-long war between Charlie Crist and Marco Rubio is ending and a three-way battle along with Democratic Rep. Kendrick Meek is finally ready to take the political spotlight in Florida, some nutter ex-Republican billionaire who made his fortune betting against the housing market has decided that he would like to purchase the [...]
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