marco rubio
But What About Gay Messicans?
DDM back to help splain some Congressional nitty-gritty-ness. There have been lots of happy nice times about our GLBTQMORELETTERS friends lately, because people around the country are finally looking around and saying, hey, these gay folks ain’t that bad! In fact, they seem almost like actual human beings, so maybe we could, you know, give them [...]
Where Is Orly Taitz When We Need Her Most?
It is late afternoon, so you’ve already probably spent about 4-5 hours fapping to copies of Ted Cruz’ resume, right? Yes, he’s the lawyer-cum-senator who is the youngest, longest, bestest at oral…arguments…ever. So! Your masturbation fantasies likely already encompass the possibility that Ted Cruz might someday, if you are very lucky, run for president. YES [...]
Marco Rubio Champions The Downtrodden, Opposes Paying Them
Some people, for some reason, got it in their heads that the Republican Party was the party that looked out for rich folks, the party that was ideologically opposed to helping the less fortunate so it could grant new privileges to “job creators.” For some reason, nobody can really remember why, like, 47 percent of [...]
Marco Rubio Can’t Wait To Get Out Of Middle Class Hell-Hole
Marco Rubio talked last night, we are told (we couldn’t hear him over the yowling noises coming from his Sad Hairs), about some stuff. Like the middle class, and how he is middle class, and how he loves living among the middle class and you won’t find him leaving his beloved middle class neighborhood to [...]
When Is The GOP Response To The State of the Union? When Is The Tea Party Response To The State of the Union? When Is ‘My Little Pony’ On?
The GOP Response to the most exciting SOTU evaris real soon! The Tea Party Response to the SOTU is after that! Marco Rubio is giving the official GOP response, and Rand Paul is giving the Tea Party response. Neither is expected to be as entertaining as that one time when Kenneth the NBC Page gave [...]
Get A Snack, Rubio And Vitter Are Having A Diaper-Hooker-Immigrant Catfight
Marco Rubio’s camp is firing back at Sen David Vitter (R-The Best Little Whorehouse In D.C.). After Vitter said Rubio was “nuts” for wanting to pass an immigration reform bill, a “source close to Rubio” sent an unsolicited e-mail to Politico: “David Vitter has done some nuttier things in his life.”
Marco Rubio Becomes 2016 G.O.P. Frontrunner By Being Cuban, An Idiot
In case you missed it, there was an election a few weeks ago, and one of the parties was reaaaaally banking on older white men to vote for them, because that was the only group they had not condemned to hell. This party was called “Republicans,” and they did very poorly, as a great many [...]
Great GOP Hope Marco Rubio: Let’s Just Go Ahead and Let Rich People Do Whatever
Marco Rubio, who we have been told is the New Face of the Republican party, has a brilliant take on solving the so-called fiscal cliff: let’s just go ahead and let rich people do whatever they want because they’ll hire a bunch of lawyers and do what they want no matter what so we might [...]
Bill O’Reilly: GOP Would Have Gotten Away With It Too If It Weren’t For These Hispanic Moochers Who Want Handouts
Would you like Bill O’Reilly’s advice on what the Republican party could have done differently to avoid losing the Presidency and their chances of a GOP Senate? Of course you would, and here it is! First off, says Bill O’Reilly, the campaign really just reined Mitt Romney in too much. He should have been allowed [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Gets Thrill Up Her Leg For Romney’s ‘Vision Thing’
Apparently, there has been a turning point in Mitt Romney’s campaign—a GOOD turning point of some kind. We know this because Kathryn Jean Lopez has taken to the National Review to inform us of such, even if she can’t quite identify exactly why this was a turning point, or what it means, or how it [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Wingnut Obamacare Freakouts
This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration. — benshapiro (@benshapiro) June 28, 2012 It’s really kind of sad that Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro put up this tweet mere minutes after the ultra-conservative Supreme Court approved socialist healthcare in America [...]
Lady Republicans Willfully Refuse To Recognize Phoniness Of ‘War On Women’ In VAWA Vote
“We face an abundance of hard choices,” said Ol’ Walnuts, John McCain, discussing the Senate’s vote to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act. “Divisive slogans and declaring of phony wars are intended to avoid those hard choices and to escape paying a political price for doing so.” It is good to know that the War [...]
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