The March on Washington is almost here, as are our Patriotic Morning Drinking Plans. But did you know it’s kind of scary to come to a place like D.C., especially to the touristy National Mall which crawls with Park Service police night and day, and is only visited by other white people tourists on summer weekends? Join us for a children’s treasury of “I am worried there might be scary snakes” Paultard travel-tip forum posts. MORE »

He’s never quitting. Ron Paul. Is. Never. Quitting. As soon as he’s locked up his congressional primary win in March (natch), he will never quit the race, as long as the money keeps flowing in. In addition, he’s planning a Paultard March on Washington. Everybody SCREAM! You can watch him explain this all in a 14-minute message from some old wood-paneled lair in the Shire, after the jump. MORE »