Imagine having some big boring guy following you around all the time just bumming you out — and then stop imagining and sign up for John Kerry’s e-mail alerts. Today we learn that March Madness is upon us, with a dull new twist:

March Madness is here. Only this time it’s not just a chance to follow your favorite team through the NCAA brackets — it’s time to fill out your first bracket of 2007 to decide which great Democrats the johnkerry.com community will rally behind this spring.

And don’t miss next year’s Super Bowl — but this time, instead of watching a football game and getting drunk, you will actually be alphabetizing boxes of old files in John Kerry’s office. MORE »

* The sooner old Al gets the boot the sooner we get Attorney General Patrick Fitzgerald. [Above the Law]
* Fox News reporters in Afghanistan think American soldiers there are “motherfuckers.” [Nitpicker]
* Tomorrow’s concertless anti-war protest will be opposed by similarly music-free pro-war rally, neither of which anyone gives a shit about. [Jawa Report]
* The rambling political thoughts of Donald J. Trump. [The Swamp]
* Bill Clinton bashes the New York Times for using the kid gloves on Obama and the lead-weighted ones on Hillary. [Horse's Mouth]
* But he’s not talking about his brackets. [Freep (2nd Item)]
* Tune into 20/20 tonight for a lispy tribute to Hugo Chavez. [Business & Media]

* Hillary isn’t the only one who’s running. Participate in the Cherry Blossom 10-miler, either as a runner (if you’ve pre-registered) or a volunteer. [Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run] MORE »

This Sunday’s shows undertook a major military operation. Between the anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and “Operation Swarmer,” talking heads all but saluted. Russ Feingold managed to grab some of the spotlight, and his motion to censure President Bush gave Bill Kristol another chance to rock Chris Wallace’s world: Feingold “is smarter than the Democratic congressional leadership” and “deserves credit for taking a principled stand, and I honestly think he’s winning this debate.” That sound you heard is Nancy Pelosi’s head exploding. Dick Cheney did “Face the Nation” but did not make much news beyond the world’s most awesome Freudian slip: “Most of my predecessors spent a good part of their time as President–Vice President running for President.

Also, debuting this week on ABCNews.com was “The Green Room,” a brave attempt to wring every possible bit of hot air from the “This Week” panel while they stand around uncomfortably after the show wraps in the nondescript, motel-ish decor of ABC’s DeSale St. digs. Personally, I have always found pre-show green room chatter more interesting (everyone’s trying out their lines) and the whole thing strikes me as an empty attempt to show us another side of people who are basically one-dimensional, but I applaud this Taylorite approach to news content and hope that less practiced pundits do something stupid and/or inspired backstage in the future.

Top topics: Iraq, Feingold’s censure motion and by extension the NSA wiretap program.

One-hit wonders: Boston College’s Sweet Sixteen chances (”Meet the Press”); Joey Cheek, humanitarian (”This Week”); Mark McClellan, TREKKIE (”Fox News Sunday”)

Quotes to live by:
• Dick Cheney admits that shooting someone in the face is “one of those situations that’s difficult, that generates controversy.”
• Chris Wallace, SUPER GENIUS: “It seems to me that the Senators who are most critical of [the NSA wiretapping] program are the ones who know the least about it.”
• George Will lays it out: “We need to define victory down.”
• Sam Donaldson is totally high: “Russ Feingold threw the long ball… but it might connect, as the Washington Redskins learned in the mid-70s.”

Also, Shorter Chris Matthews Show: David Gregory observed that “George Bush is the George Clooney of Washington… but that’s a little bit of a patina.” Wha?

Full rundown appears after the jump.

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Poor Howard Dean! Republicans paint the DNC Chairman as out-of-touch, a loose cannon of the left — in a nutshell, crazy. Meanwhile, Dean can’t get no respect from his own party, with Nancy Pelosi et al. constantly second-guessing his decisions.

What’s a guy to do? Why, what any American male with a nagging wife would do: immerse himself in college basketball!

Dean appears to be quite the NCAA enthusiast, with not one but two entries in the DNC’s office betting pool. And even if his leadership skills are open to question, his basketball prognostication skills aren’t half-bad.

Find out how your favorite DNC staffers are doing in the office NCAA pool, by checking out the full standings — after the jump.

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The issues facing the country and the body politic are, these days, distressingly non-visual. Which presents some challenges to our nation’s caroonists. How to depict the prospect of a showdown with Iran? The lobbying scandals? The political fallout of the ports deal?

As our resident cartoon expert the Comics Curmudgeon learned this week, you do it with jokes about Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face! And references to the difficulties faced by pimps out here!

Our weekly roundup of the general suckiness of Today’s Cartoons, after the jump.

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