The rampant, raging Absolut vodka controversy took on new dimensions this weekend when a pack of insane nativists vowed to boycott Absolut and demanded the firing of the employee who approved an ad that encourages the Mexicans to take over the Northern Hemisphere. To be fair, it is well known that The Illegals and their cohort take most of their political marching orders from liquor ads. MORE »

That retarded South Carolina teen beauty queen gal will finally be able to buy maps for hungry Americans because now she’s a model for Donald Trump’s tramp agency. [World Net Daily]

Hey everyone, find the Deficient Bridge you drive over every day! [USAT]

There are now two places on Earth where New Orleans isn’t a half-abandoned wasteland: Micheal “Brownie” Brown’s mind and Google Maps. MORE »

The “Security and Prosperity Project” will allow people from Winnipeg to vacation without having to stop in Kansas City. MORE »

* Lloyd Bentsen hasn’t even been dead long enough to turn over in his grave, and already he has a rap obituary. [Dealing in Subterfuges] MORE »

Above, hand-drawn directions to Donald Rumsfeld’s house, left on a table at a Dupont Starbucks by Eric Ruff two years ago (and redacted by Center for American Progress). MORE »