maps
U.S. American Mitt Romney Does Not Have Maps
The Twitter is all mad at US American Mitt Romney this morning for something about … geography? Like such as not knowing that Syria is not Iran’s “route to the sea” or something? And that in fact there is a whole other country between the two? Here, let some nerd explain it for you: Rebecca [...]
Fox News Starting To Get A Wee Bit Cocky
Here is a map from an “election forecasting model” that the Fox News sent out to America, and your Editrix found it on the Twitter and shared it in the Secret Wonkette Chat Room, for panic-laughs. But seriously, Fox News, try to be a bit more realistic! All of us who have been frantically refreshing [...]
Here Is Glenn Beck’s Very Unique 2012 Electoral Map
Well, over on whatever website or smelly airwave Glenn Beck currently resides, Beck and his friends/unpaid interns have decided to make some predictions about the 2012 presidential election upon which the fate of the universe rides. Here is Glenn’s measured and educated guess! Wow, good.
Jim Newell Is Back, Writes ‘Failed Blogger Returns To Wonkette’ Headline
Hello, humans. My name is Jim. I used to edit this stupid website for two or three years back when it was stupider, in The Roaring Twenties.
Ohio Voters Will Now Have to Read Maps
If you live in Ohio and have a poor sense of direction, you should not bother voting now. Ohio has decided that directing confused people to the correct polls is a terrible hassle, and could result in more votes that need to be counted, which is a chore! Apparently it “is the duty of the [...]
Not Having a Passport Gives You Diabetes
Hey, look what happens when you put together a map of the density of diabetics in the U.S. with one of passport ownership! (You get fired from NPR, is what happens.) Isn’t it funny how every map of the U.S. like these are basically the same? Somebody find us a map of dentists per capita [...]
John King Named ‘John King, USA’ After Himself Due To Modesty
If you’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with a quiet sense of dread and the distinct sensation that something terrible is about to happen, don’t worry! It’s just your subconscious wondering if anybody ever decided what to call that new John King show on CNN.
Happy Hours: Not Just For Booze?
Don’t worry, we’re not asking anyone to reevaluate the presence of alcohol in their life, nor are we insinuating that there are better means to post-work happiness than drinking. Happy hours are essential to the DC way of life and we would never pass judgment on such a meaningful occasion. You have our word. Some [...]
An Affair To Remember
It’s Thursday, and you know what that means: time to read a magazine, you and me! Let’s see, let’s see, how about Foreign Affairs? That’s appropriately capital-i Important and relatively low-profile. Like their pioneers-of-capitalism friends over at the American Prospect, Foreign Affairs charges you if you want to read the “premium” articles. But we’re not [...]
Peggy Noonan Wanders Upper East Side, Discovers Economic Depression
Oh heavens, Madame Peggy Noonan, princess of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, has journeyed outside her loft again: “A moment last Monday, just after noon, in Manhattan. It’s slightly overcast, not cold, a good day for walking. I’m in the 90s on Fifth heading south, enjoying the broad avenue, the trees, the wide cobblestone [...]
Russian Expert: America To Separate Into Breakaway Republics
Ha ha, remember after the 2004 elections people emailed each other maps showing the sane parts of America getting absorbed into Canada and the rest turning into a squalid nation of Cheetos-addicted wingnuts called Jesusland? A Russian “expert” has now reached a similar conclusion about America — that we are doomed to decline and a [...]
New Map Proves America Is Spongy Tumor
Ewww, observe this gross map! This eye-searing cross between a ribeye steak and a six-week fetus is supposed to illustrate something important about voting patterns by representing the size of a state according to population rather than acreage. This frees sad coastal Democrats from the “tyranny of geography” and puts uppity Wyoming Republicans in their [...]
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