Noriega’s getting out early for good behavior! But do we send him to France, where he faces a money-laundering conviction, or Panama, where he’ll be under house arrest until he dies? We say, let’s send him on a wacky road trip with the dude who shot Wallace, so they can rediscover America, and themselves. [CNN]

Remember George H.W. Bush’s first war? He got pissed off at his buddy Manuel Noriega because Manny stopped giving a cut of the coke money to the CIA, and next thing you know U.S. Marines are blasting Van Halen at the Panamanian Vatican Embassy … and that’s how the leader of a sovereign nation (that we actually stole from Colombia) ended up in a Miami prison for 15 years. MORE »