Tag Archives: mansplaining

  There's A Vas Deferens Between These Procedures

Gross Tennessee Legislator Tells State Senate About That Time He Got Spayed

A Tennessee state senator decided that right on the Senate floor was the best place to describe medical procedures on his own genitals. Before you think he’s super gross, just know that he did it so he could talk down to some lady person, so it’s cool. Read more on Gross Tennessee Legislator Tells State Senate About That Time He Got Spayed…
  Thanks for the advice bro

Microsoft CEO Dude: Chicks Don’t Need Raises, Just Karma

Don't make us angry. You wouldn't like us when we're angry.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is a man, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Especially a woman who has a job for a living and, as is the case in pretty much every industry, doesn’t make as much money as her fellow penis-having colleagues. But the Bro-E-O has some terrific advice for women who are trying to get ahead and get those bigger paychecks (so they can buy SHOOOOOOZ! of course): don’t even bother. Read more on Microsoft CEO Dude: Chicks Don’t Need Raises, Just Karma…
  The mansplaination of the unfairness of life

Bill O’Reilly Thinks Michelle Obama Is A Big Dumb Girl

Dumb ladies want fairness because dumb
First lady Michelle Obama sure asks a lot of dumb questions. When she addressed the United Nations Global Education First Initiative earlier this week, for example, she was all, “Do we truly value women as equals, or do we see them as merely second-class citizens?” and “Are we working to become more equal, more free?” These are stupid questions, obviously, because who ever said life is even supposed to be fair? That is just life, and it is unfair, but what’s so unfair about that? Read more on Bill O’Reilly Thinks Michelle Obama Is A Big Dumb Girl…
  #MadAboutAThing

Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO

Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson (R-Of course) has only been a member of the United States Senate for about five minutes (technically he was elected in 2010, which in Senate years is five minutes), but he sure knows a thing or three about how there has never been a single moment of less-than-perfect decorum. (He was not yet in the Senate when Vice President Dick Cheney told Sen. Patrick Leahy to quote unquote GO FUCK YOURSELF back in 2004, so that wouldn’t even count.) Read more on Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO…
  #RIPpatriarchy

Thanks For Making Us Equal, Men. XOXO, The Ladies

Thank god that's all behind us now!
Hey, ladies, how are you celebrating Women’s Equality Day? Shopping? Painting your nails with “I’ve Been Roofied Red“? Wondering what the heck is Women’s Equality Day? Here, let’s have President Obama mansplain it for us: Read more on Thanks For Making Us Equal, Men. XOXO, The Ladies…
  Dames These Days

NY Post Writer Wonders Why Dumb Broads Can’t Take A Compliment (Also: Nipples)

The New York Post’s Doree Lewak considers herself a funny gal, with her humor recalling a more enlightened time when “gal” was the preferred nomenclature. So we apologize in advance if Lewak’s paean to wolf whistles, “Hey Ladies — catcalls are flattering! Deal with it,” in yesterday’s Post was a new and highly advanced form of satire that we simply don’t understand. We will allow you to judge for yourselves. Read more on NY Post Writer Wonders Why Dumb Broads Can’t Take A Compliment (Also: Nipples)…
  an inconvenient woman

Exclusive: Sen. Jeff Sessions Mansplains The Budget To OMB Director, Covers It Up On YouTube

Exclusive Drudge Sirens Must Credit Wonkette: So here is Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions mansplaining the President’s budget to the President’s Budget Director, OMB chief Sylvia Matthews Burwell. He is very very unhappy that the budget request includes an additional $56 billion over the compromise agreement passed back in December. Despite Sessions’s indignant tone, it’s not exactly a hidden spending request, considering that it’s discussed right there in the second paragraph of the Budget Overview webpage. But Sessions has to act like he has the Gotcha of the year, if only Burwell will admit that the Obama administration is trying to tax everyone to death, but darned if she’ll play his game. So in frustration, at about the 2:20 mark in the video above, Sessions smirks, “You look real innocent the way you look at me here, like you don’t know what I am talking about. Can’t you just simply answer the question, yes or no? Do you intend to spend more than Ryan-Murray, and will that not require an amending of the law to allow you to do so?” We have a hard time believing that Sessions would use such condescending language to Treasury Secretary Jack Lew or to former OMB Director Peter Orszag, but how dare a lady just waltz in and talk to a U.S. Senator as if she had any right to insist on nuance. Don’t play innocent, miss, just answer yes or no. And it’s not just Yr Wonkette that thinks the “You look real innocent” line was over the top — Sessions’s own office, eager to portray Burwell as evasive, put the exchange up on their YouTube channel, but completely edited out the “You look real innocent” remark. When did Jeff Sessions hire James O’Keefe? Read more on Exclusive: Sen. Jeff Sessions Mansplains The Budget To OMB Director, Covers It Up On YouTube…
  oh sweet jesus abstaining christ

Mormon Boy Band Thinks ‘You Are So Beautiful’ When You Don’t Dress Like A Whore

Hey, ladies, have you ever wondered what gets Mormon boys really super hot? I know I haven’t, and you probably haven’t, and neither have you over there rolling your eyes, but this Backstreet Boys-esque band of preppy white boys (plus one older black man because Mormons are totes into that diversity thing now) ripped off One Direction’s song “That’s What Makes You Beautiful” to boybandsplain it to us anyway. Hey, where are you going? Come back! Read more on Mormon Boy Band Thinks ‘You Are So Beautiful’ When You Don’t Dress Like A Whore…
  Freedumb isn't Free!

A Children’s Treasury Of Pundits Saying Stupid Things About The NSA This Weekend

Unless you have been living in a cave on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears — an increasingly attractive option, we’ll admit — you are aware that the Guardian and the Washington Post confirmed that the NSA has been spying on Americans’ phone calls, Facebook accounts, Google searches, emails, iTunes playlists, Skype video chats and AOL chat logs for, oh, five or six years now, give or take, no big deal. Of course, this revelation was not only the scoop of the century, but also a fantastic opportunity for everyone to take to the internet and announce THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT PRISM AND THE NSA ETC. Some of the commentary was valuable and interesting but some consisted of privileged morons mansplaining to us about why it is totally OK for the government to monitor our virtual comings and goings. Would it shock you to learn that Andrew Sullivan, Bill Maher, a Forbes columnist, and a couple other white guys are TOTALLY OK with it, because the NSA never gets anything wrong, and that our national security apparatus only scoops up bad guys? Why all the worrying? Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Pundits Saying Stupid Things About The NSA This Weekend…
  Fear of a Man Planet

‘Progressive’ Fellow In ‘Men’s Rights Movement’ Has Inspirational Posters For Manly Men

Here is something that the Internet went and puked up on our digital doorstep a few days back: a collection of Microsoft Office-based editorial artwork designed to provide inspiration and motivation to “The Manosphere.” And what is the “Manosphere?” We’ll let the anti-MRA blog Manboobz do the ‘splainin: The Manosphere: The loose collection of blogs, message boards, and other sites run by and/or read by MRAs [“Men’s Rights Advocates”], MGTOW [“Men Going Their Own Way: a lot like lesbian separatism, but for straight dudes.”, and assorted friendly Pick-up Artists. [Link added by your Doktor Zoom] So, yeah, basically creeps. But creeps who have a mission in life, which is, apparently, to get laid (but not trapped in a marriage) while also reversing the damage done to America and to Manhood itself by feminism. Oh, and to shame sluts for being so slutty, but not slutty enough to fuck them. Read more on ‘Progressive’ Fellow In ‘Men’s Rights Movement’ Has Inspirational Posters For Manly Men…