Tag Archives: manhattan

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral

Dear Princess Celestia: Why do you hate Free Speach?
Oh, it has been a busy week in Deleted Comments land! Thanks to our switchover to Disqus, the comments are a bit more Wild West-y than they had been — in Olden times, new commenters had to be approved, but now, Yr Moderators have to patrol the dusty streets and clear them of miscreants who shamble into view. Happily, you Wonkers are all deputized to help us keep our comments section a happy Radical Liberal Secularist Leftist Libunatic playground as well, via the “flag” option that appears when you move your mouse over any comment, like so: Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Shoot-Out At The Not-Okay Corral…
  pulp fission

Donald Trump Outraged That Barack Obama Has Revealed Existence Of NYC To Our Enemies

So here is your nontroversy of the afternoon: Donald Trump is furious that Barack Obama has mentioned the possibility of a terrorist nuclear attack on Manhattan, because, as he told Fox News’s Greta Van Susteren today, the President “just put a big target on Manhattan.” Damn you, Obama! If only you had kept Manhattan a secret, no terrorist ever would have thought to attack it, and the city would remain safe from terrorist attacks, just like it was during George W. Bush’s blemish-free reign. Read more on Donald Trump Outraged That Barack Obama Has Revealed Existence Of NYC To Our Enemies…
  next time try ok cupid

New York Man Arrested Before He Could Shoot GW Bush, Win Daughter Barbara’s Love In A Dying America

So here is a thing that happened: A New York man armed with a rifle, boxes of ammunition and a machete was arrested Friday after allegedly threatening to kill former President George W. Bush, according to a federal court complaint. Apparently, Benjamin Smith also thought that once he’d killed the former president, he would then win the hand of Bush’s daughter Barbara. Is there a specific DSM diagnosis for people with delusions involving making someone love you by killing a politician? We would not be surprised if there were. Read more on New York Man Arrested Before He Could Shoot GW Bush, Win Daughter Barbara’s Love In A Dying America…
  oh noes newt

Attention Bigots: There Is Already a Mosque Near the WTC Site

Wonkette operative “Evan B.” writes: “The debate over the planned mosque at Ground Zero seems a bit retarded to me; I work directly between the planned mosque and a mosque that has existed before 9/11 and continues to operate to this day. The existing mosque and the proposed mosque are probably 800 feet apart; one city block, let’s say.” This is humorous! LISTEN UP, HATEFUL ASSHOLES: The end is near! The Muslins have already invaded that city you call godless yet love because terrorism happened there! YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE VERY, VERY SCARED AND ANGRY ABOUT THIS! So you have to kill yourselves right now! It is the only way! Read more on Attention Bigots: There Is Already a Mosque Near the WTC Site…
  piratofascism

Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered

Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated nothing more than our freedom (for white English male property owners)! So they drove their ship up Manhattan and right into the side of the Dutch East Indian Company Worlde Trade Centre. Read more on Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered…
  sexytime

The Night Marilyn Monroe Sang ‘Happy Birthday’ To JFK

It was 48 years ago today that Marilyn Monroe was literally sewn into a see-through gown and carried out to the stage of Madison Square Garden to serenade President John F. Kennedy for his birthday. LIFE photographer Bill Ray took this famous picture of Marilyn’s ass. And Hank Jones, the legendary jazz pianist who accompanied her breathy version of “Happy Birthday,” died on Sunday in New York at the age of 91. JFK and Marilyn Monroe didn’t make it nearly that long — she was found dead less than three months later, and his head was blown apart by assassins the following year. Read more on The Night Marilyn Monroe Sang ‘Happy Birthday’ To JFK…