Tag: mandate

American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!

Hey ladies! How's your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and...

Will Government Be Forced To Hold a Victory Parade For Tom DeLay?

The SIX-YEAR investigation into Tom DeLay's ties to lobbyist Jack Abramoff is now over! Hooray Sixth Amendment! The system works! Finally Tom DeLay can get back to his business as House Majority Leader, passing George W. Bush's Mandate. But...

Joe Biden To Sit On Thumbs For Next Four Years

Our Vice President-elect spent a recent evening stuffing Christmas stockings for a charity, with his wife, because why not? It's not like he has anything better to do! He looks forward to a wonderful first term playing Wii in...