Tag Archives: mandate

  good christian doctors

American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!

Hey ladies! How’s your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and if you do not want, say, 19 babies, then you are a heathen Communist Chinee. That is just so obvious we should not even have to say it, but apparently you are a Dumb Girl. Luckily, the Christian Medical Association is here to explain that an insurance company offering you birth control even if your employer doesn’t want you to have birth control is not only abrogating your employer’s First Amendment right to determine your sex life (you are a factory worker in Macau, right?) but is also the first step on the road to China’s one-child policy and forced abortion. It is simply that simple. Read more on American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!…
  open up the lockbox of tom delay's hopes and dreams

Will Government Be Forced To Hold a Victory Parade For Tom DeLay?

The SIX-YEAR investigation into Tom DeLay’s ties to lobbyist Jack Abramoff is now over! Hooray Sixth Amendment! The system works! Finally Tom DeLay can get back to his business as House Majority Leader, passing George W. Bush’s Mandate. But seriously, six years? And then, “Oh, whatever bro, we’re not gonna charge you with anything.” The government will probably have to fund Tom DeLay’s campaign to return to the House, and then it will have to fund a lavish parade in Washington welcoming DeLay’s return, for compensation. And also George W. Bush will have to be put back in office, because how else can Tom DeLay pass his fun laws? Read more on Will Government Be Forced To Hold a Victory Parade For Tom DeLay?…
  maxin' and relaxin'

Joe Biden To Sit On Thumbs For Next Four Years

Our Vice President-elect spent a recent evening stuffing Christmas stockings for a charity, with his wife, because why not? It’s not like he has anything better to do! He looks forward to a wonderful first term playing Wii in the Cheney Dungeon and cutting ribbons at state fairs. In having no defined “portfolio” of busywork to attend to, Biden differs from other recent vice presidents. Dick Cheney’s portfolio, of course, included “Making war with everyone, quietly murdering deer, and colonizing Mars” whereas Al Gore had to streamline the government and Dan Quayle had to misspell common vegetables. Read more on Joe Biden To Sit On Thumbs For Next Four Years…