Tag Archives: man of the year

  satire or just stupid?

Festivus Miracle: Wonkette, Washington Free Beacon Agree On ‘Man Of Year,’ Just Not Which Year Or Why

We’re going to assume that, even though it includes that image up there (minus Derpy Hooves, of course), this post on today’s Washington Free Beacon is not actually joking in naming Mitt Romney 2013’s “Man of the Year.” And to think, they’re only a year behind Yr Wonkette; we declared Mitt the Hu-Man of the Year 2012, for all the laughs. Or at least 47% of the laughs. The Mighty Favog knows their lede has all the earnest butthurt one could ask for: America didn’t want him, needs him more than ever, and does not deserve him. Remember when Americans still had affordable health insurance? Mitt Romney does. Remember how crazy it was to think Russia could be “our number one geopolitical foe”? Mitt Romney might, assuming he still thinks about politics when he’s not installing car elevators in his La Jolla mansion or nurturing one of the finest tans in the industrialized world. See? Hard to tell how straight they want us to take that — even aside from the carping about the rollout of the ACA, are we really supposed to believe that we’re on the brink of war with Russia or something? Apart from Russia granting asylum to Ed Snowden and their passage of that terrible anti-gay law (which we’ve got to assume the Free Beacon isn’t terribly worried about anyway), did the Rooshians suddenly vindicate the Mittbot by vaulting past China or Iran as foreign policy worry #1? Read more on Festivus Miracle: Wonkette, Washington Free Beacon Agree On ‘Man Of Year,’ Just Not Which Year Or Why…
 

Unveiling Wonket’s 2012 Hu-Man Of The Year

Wonket’s Hu-Man of the Year was a hard-fought contest. There were strong cases to be made for Donald Trump, and Rick Santorum, and the cast of Fox & Friends. But in the end only one hu-man provided such grand doses of befuddled misanthropy, who proved to be SO FUCKING BAD AT HIS JOB, who could not open his mouth but to insult the help (everyone is the help), whose wife was a bigger fucking cunt than he was. Oh, this could have been a Republican year. Everyone thought so mostly! Except then the Republicans went and nominated His Lord High Hairgel, Mittens of Romney, who literally said half the country refused to take responsibility for their lives, and no one was surprised. BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS GAFFES? Let us relive, together, the power and the glory forever and ever hallelujah amen! Read more on Unveiling Wonket’s 2012 Hu-Man Of The Year…
  nut of the week

Michele Bachmann Honored To Be Noted by TIME Alongside Hitler

Vacant-eyed junior demagogue Michele Bachmann wants to be a famous extremist dingbat just like her rival/idol, Sarah Palin. But how to get better known? The new polls show that 64% of GOP voters have no idea who Michele Bachmann is and only 12% see her “favorably,” so she really needs to amp up the craziness. Why not call for all gay people to be killed? Why not? (Her husband is excused from this, of course, because he was “cured.”) Anyway, all press is good press, so forgotten dentist-office magazine TIME has a blurb about Bachmann written by noted TIME journalist Rush Limbaugh. Keep appeasing the wingnuts, liberal media! Read more on Michele Bachmann Honored To Be Noted by TIME Alongside Hitler…
 

Time Magazine Promotes, We Surmise

The Time Magazine Man of the Year roadshow rolled into D.C. this morning at an ungodly hour despite the snow to get D.C. opinion leaders’ opinions on who Time should’ve chosen (since they’ve probably already decided) besides You, you narcissistic bastard. To help not decide, they invited Senator Sam Brownback, Representative Ellen Tauscher and Time Magazine employees Mark Halperin and Karen Tumulty. We don’t know why that group of people, really, but they fed us coffee and miniature pastries so that we couldn’t ask because our mouths were full. Read more on Time Magazine Promotes, We Surmise…