malia obama

It’s a day ending in -y, so you better bet Glenn Beck is out there whipping people into a frenzy over completely made-up shit. Seriously, what is it like to be that paranoid all the time? It must be weird to live with the constant certainty that every mundane occurrence is actually the government generally […]

Hurrah, Yr Derp Roundup is back after a brief hiatus, and we are delighted to bring you a premium selection of the gunk that was stuck to our browser tabs, stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. We recommend adding the reality-dilution substances of your […]

Despite steadfastly declaring a year ago that if people nominated Mitt Romney to be president, “we’ll lose,” fervent Mitt Romney supporter and reluctant believer in math Ann Coulter has now decided that in order for loser Mitt to lose slightly less appallingly, his supporters and the undecided tens of millions on the right must “go […]

Did you hear that President Obama allowed his daughter to go to Mexico with 12 friends and 25 Secret Service agents? Our friends on the right end of the political spectrum have been calling it poor leadership for the First Parents to send their child to Deathly Mexico after the State Department recently issued a […]

‘Twas the Christmas Tree-Lighting Time at the White House last Thursday night, and this year’s theme was “Controversy and Nostalgia.” Controversy, because for the first time since the debut of Dallas, there was a new tree at the White House. (The old one got knocked down by winds or Katrina or something, and the new […]

Michelle Obama is taking a nap right now because, haven’t you heard, she ate herself into a coma last week. Somewhere, a couple of news desk interns are very proud of themselves, because their cranky, jaded editor shouted, “HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN A HAMBURGER?” and they got out their little calculators as fast as […]

What happened to that handsome young gentleman who was elected president back in 2008? He would hang out on the beach, shirtless, providing lots of wallpaper material for Marcus Bachmann’s likely collection of secret dungeons. Oh, this Obama is gone now, and has been replaced by a grumpy old curmudgeon who is literally counting the […]

President Obama has written a children’s book, apparently, and it will be released November 16. It’s called Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters, because when you are president, you cannot just simply write your daughters a letter and hand it to them, you have to send it to a publisher and have […]

Matt Drudge is such an OCD closet queen with massive Asperger’s and autism and stuff. These are the kind of Mutant Powers of obnoxiousness that are required to make money in America these days. But it also results in strange outbursts like this, where he is compelled to tell Malia Obama, via a link to […]

Because there is no news this August except for the news about the moral and physical decline of America due to Death Panel rationing, an increasingly bored press corps turns to the Obama family for succor. “Enh, there’s this bit about Michelle and her shorts,” they say to each other, and that’s good for a […]

Ha ha ha, everyone gets a good laugh when newspaper design people make weird placement choices. Look at the Washington Times here: its website shows a photo of the Obama kids — probably the click-thru is a story about how cute they are! — right above a different article about Chicago children being murdered all […]

Oh this is a necessary post. You all do want to see the Obamas meeting our colonial Queen at her Buckingham Palace, don’t you? Because they do just that. Check out the Queen, still hangin’ in there. She could stand on top of both Malia and Sasha Obama and still be shorter than either of […]

THE ETHICIST  3:37 pm January 30, 2009

by Ken Layne

WONKETTE’S ETHICAL RULES RE: COVERING MALIA & SASHA: “If they go all Jenna on D.C. in a few years,” Layne added, “they are fair game.” [Broadcasting & Cable]

Oh, you want a dog? Here is a dog for you, straight from the fires of HELL. You can dress it up in a sweater and some lipstick, and it will look exactly like Liz Taylor. This is a Peruvian Hairless dog, ancient pet of the Incas. It is prone to acne and blackheads. Some […]

Yesterday Wonkette brought you the EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE SEEN NOWHERE ELSE of Barack Obama’s 10- and 7-year-old daughters, Misha and Selma or whatever, being interviewed by some pretty Access Hollywood gal. This was a first, as Obama usually likes to hide his children in underground caves to shield them from THE SPINELESS INTERNET. Naturally, everyone made […]