Wonkette

It was confusing when Hispanic rapper guy Daddy Yankee endorsed John McCain in person the other day, because who is Daddy Yankee? Also, he makes songs about semen, and they are John McCain’s favorite songs along with “Dancing Queen.” Now we’ve learned, however, that Daddy Yankee wanted to endorse Obama earlier in the year but wasn’t allowed to. Although Fox News denies this, and says that Daddy Yankee and WALNUTS! have been friends since they met at a Most Important People On Earth party in 2005. [Ben Smith, Fox News]

West Virginia’s Robert Byrd, the president pro-tem of the U.S. Senate and a former member of the KKK, has endorsed — gasp! — the Kenyan candidate, Barack Obama! Although he hates black people, Byrd notes that he has “been one of the most outspoken opponents of the Bush administration’s misguided war in Iraq and its saber rattling around the globe,” and this shared view is Obama’s appeal to him. And lest we forget, Byrd made some pretty harrowing speeches before and at the outset of the Iraq War. [Charleston Gazette]

So hints tragic reporter hero Mark Halperin, who says the Barry campaign will announce a major endorsement between 6:15 and 7:15. Obama will be holding a rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan tonight — and John Edwards got on a plane this afternoon! Maybe he was just flying to Outer Space or some deserted island, far, far away from the speculative hellhole we call the Two-Hour News Cycle.

UPDATE: Nope, no vacation. It’s confirmed by Politico, ABC, MSNBC, NYT, etc. etc., that Edwards will indeed throw his White Weight behind Elitist Barry. [The Page]

Although John McCain continues to battle himself for the Republican nomination, the news today should help a little bit. Nancy Reagan, the somehow-still-alive widow of famous ghost Ronald Reagan, will endorse him tonight at her fat cat home in California. As you may have heard, John McCain was a foot soldier in the Reagan Revolution, the legacy of which includes a soaring federal budget, entrenched partisanship, and Mitt Romney. And this is why some president’s wife will be endorsing John McCain tonight, in Outer Space. [Jonathan Martin]

Hmm, do you catch any trace of a smile on Bill Richardson’s face in this photo? Barack clearly doesn’t want to shake his hand — he doesn’t know what kind of Tijuana hellholes that burly paw has been in. At some point in Richardson’s endorsement speech, however, he was supposed to turn towards Obama and smile. We know this because the Obama campaign gave out copies of Richardson’s speech to the press, but forgot to delete this stage direction: “[Turn toward Obama and smile].” Richardsonbot, fail. MORE »

It’s strange, sort of, that New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson would endorse Barack Obama right now. True, Richardson is a psychotically ambitious career-builder who likes to keep his name in the papers. And someone like Richardson only sees an endorsement as a bargaining chip for an appointed position, because he loves nothing more than bragging about his resume. Job, jobs, jobs, look at all the jobs I’ve had, blah blah, make me President because of my jobs, so then I can get more new jobs. So what job did kindly Obama throw his way, and can Richardson’s job experience help undecided voters trust Obama? MORE »

Ha ha, when George W. Bush endorsed John McCain, some guy in the crowd kept shouting at them to hold a conference every week, forever. Bush called him “unruly.” John McCain realized that he should never be in the presence of George W. Bush again.

*CORRUPT JANUS UNION TO ENDORSE OBAMA:* Take that, Buffenbarger! Your two-faced Roman god Janus, Barack Obama, has earned the Teamsters union endorsement. The Teamsters represent 1.4 million Americans, and they also control the Democratic political machine, but that was actually like 60 years ago. Meanwhile, all that remains of Hillary Clinton’s base is a ladies’ bridge club in Westchester county, but they might be tilting towards McCain. [AP/Breitbart]

*OLD BUSH TO ENDORSE SIMILARLY OLD MCCAIN:* President George Herbert Walker Bush will endorse John McCain Monday, the Politicos report. George H.W. Bush may be the only American older than John McCain, so this adds some elder credibility to the warmonger’s candidacy. But in John McCain’s native country, Mexico, there are still many people older than him. [Politico]

John McCain hates Mitt Romney with the passion of the gods. So how does he show his appreciation for Romney’s official endorsement today? By saying Mittens made him “a better candidate,” with those hilarious lies and Iraq timetables and state health care in Massachusetts. Mitt Romney being a preppy flip-flopper won McCain the nomination. Is that what you’re hearing? No one’s smiling here.