Oh boy look at this, a midday blog post about Iran from ever-smiling warfapper and on/off Washington Post “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol! He is mad at Barack Obama for keeping his silence over the weekend, instead of immersing himself in Iran’s politics (declaring war on Iran). Let’s see if he opens with a nuanced historical antecedent to defend his argument: “On September 2, 1939, in the wake of Hitler’s invasion of Poland…” NEVERMIND. MORE »

Let’s see, sham election resulting in much Western/Israeli War Lust, voters beaten and shot at and murdered in the streets, global crisis, etc. So what’s famously amoral “win the afternoon” sleaze dealer The Politico got to say about it all? Ah, right …. [Link Ban Back On]

The polls have closed in Iran’s presidential election and we have a winner: it’s the American neoconservatives’ candidate, beloved hard-right lunatic and homosexual dresser Mahmoud Ahmadinjead! Now we get to bomb them because why not? The dick won! The dick won! In other news, we have another winner in Iran’s presidential election: Mir Hussein Moussavi, the reformist candidate, and a secret Muslim, according to the Internet. Yes, everyone is declaring victory, but we’re not making a call until we see the exits from Colorado. MORE »

America’s neoconservatives simply do not care for democratic or reformist movements arising organically among the citizens of tyrannical nations. What is America supposed to do, right? Who are these “self-interested” clowns crowding out the strong arm of the American military, which only wants to give them their freedoms after killing them all? Do they hate freedom? So much! And so as punishment to them, the “Iranian people,” America’s neoconservatives want Ahmadinejad to defeat the reformist challenger Mousavi in today’s election, because it would just make the inevitable nuke ‘n’ rape campaign go down all the smoother, later. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

You would be forgiven if you assumed that the members of our political class were terrible killer cyborgs, sent from the future to kill us all, with skeletons and organs made from metal and plastic. Or perhaps you believe them to be terrible hell-demons, with skin made out of scales wrapped around viscera of pure fire. But you might be surprised to learn that neither of these descriptions are true. Elected officials are real humans, like you! If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? Also, they poop and have huge boners, as you’ll see after the jump. MORE »

Hey look it’s John McCain, doing a “rap.” Silly liberals. Don’t you know that if you can pronounce the name of a Muslim, then YOU are a Muslim too? [YouTube]

GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers of worthless crap and (2) the word “HOBBIT” lit on fire. So everyone congratulate Hans and his illegal migrant family! Five other finalists, after the jump. You will have many seizures. MORE »

HA HA HA we are posting this picture because it’s funny. Apparently Larry King is interviewing, whatsisname, King Ahmad of France. On the teevee. So, CONTEST: Everyone design a Blingee for this photo, e-mail a link to the finished product to tips@wonkette.com (subject line: “LARRY KING ES HALF-BREED MUSLIN”), and we’ll post the best one at some point so you can be “famous.” [The Page]

• PALIN FOOLISHLY SAYS WORDS AGAIN: We’re getting used to this routine where once a day, usually mid-afternoon, a spasm of death shoots up our right arm after reading the latest Sarah Palin platitude. Is this what cancer feels like, cancer people? Today she pretended to care about Jews, and she went all in: “I will continue to call for sustained action to prevent Iranian President Ahmadinejad from getting these weapons that he wants for a second holocaust.” Good god, she is an actual tumor. Does she know nothing? If she ever *listened* to Ahmadinejad, she’d know that there never was a first holocaust. [ABC News]

Johnny McClassy has been running versions of this ad all over the Internet, in which Obama is giving Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the sexy bedroom Muslim devil eyes before holding a “summit” in his pants at an undisclosed Motel 6. [John McCain]

George W. Bush has two great ambitions in life: to be the president of Major League Baseball, and to bomb Iran. He will accomplish the second in his waning days in public office before retiring and turning his attention to the very important task of running the sport of baseball into the ground. MORE »