mahmoud ahmadinejad

Our ten-foot pole has arrived, which means we are finally ready to touch the dual shitstorms of Syria and Iran! The latest news on Syria is that our duly-elected warlord, Field Marshal B. Barry Bamz, has decided to steer a middle course of moar gunz, but not-too-big gunz, for the Free Syrian Army. This decision […]

Greetings, representatives of the People’s Glorious Wonkitburo! We thought we would start this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands with a gun-related tale that could have had terrible and tragic consequences for world diplomacy, but because no one was hit with any shotgun pellets, turned out to be amusing in a “Holy flurking shnit” sort […]

Poor dumb (clueless? Nahh, definitely dumb) old man John “That One” McCain simply does not see why anyone is making a fuss over his simple little joke calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a monkey, because for god’s sake, people, it is a JOKE and also did you notice that Iran is our enemy? And it’s always OK […]

While America’s useless young people were busy chanting brain-dead Neanderthal slogans in front of the White House on Sunday, angry mobs of uncivilized Africans attacked many of the Western embassies in Tripoli! Why would they do something so loathsome and disgusting? (Ha-ha, which “they” are we talking about, again?) Here is your “no fly zone,” […]

Oh man, when John Bolton finds out about this he is going to jizz red, white & blue: Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said Monday that the United States must be prepared to use military force to prevent Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon — and added that the last-resort step should be taken […]

Here is California Republican Mattie Fein and a person playing Rep. Jane Harman, her opponent in this year’s midterm / contest to see who can make dumber cultural allusions. So this is what the Newsweek offices look like these days? [YouTube]

You probably just assumed that Elana Kagan has been on the Supreme Court for months, stone cold legislating from the bench and making everyone have gay abortions without their guns or whatever, but in fact she still has to be confirmed by the full Senate. Is this a thing that will happen? Probably! The New […]

What have you infidels done this time to infuriate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad so thoroughly? (Trick question, for your very existence forces Ahmadinejad to hate you at all hours of the day.) But his never-ceasing hatred has just been multiplied by infinity, thanks in part to a certain German octopus by the name of Paul, who is […]

Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??

Oh boy look at this, a midday blog post about Iran from ever-smiling warfapper and on/off Washington Post “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol! He is mad at Barack Obama for keeping his silence over the weekend, instead of immersing himself in Iran’s politics (declaring war on Iran). Let’s see if he opens with a nuanced […]

Let’s see, sham election resulting in much Western/Israeli War Lust, voters beaten and shot at and murdered in the streets, global crisis, etc. So what’s famously amoral “win the afternoon” sleaze dealer The Politico got to say about it all? Ah, right …. [Link Ban Back On]

The polls have closed in Iran’s presidential election and we have a winner: it’s the American neoconservatives’ candidate, beloved hard-right lunatic and homosexual dresser Mahmoud Ahmadinjead! Now we get to bomb them because why not? The dick won! The dick won! In other news, we have another winner in Iran’s presidential election: Mir Hussein Moussavi, […]

America’s neoconservatives simply do not care for democratic or reformist movements arising organically among the citizens of tyrannical nations. What is America supposed to do, right? Who are these “self-interested” clowns crowding out the strong arm of the American military, which only wants to give them their freedoms after killing them all? Do they hate […]

By the Comics Curmudgeon You would be forgiven if you assumed that the members of our political class were terrible killer cyborgs, sent from the future to kill us all, with skeletons and organs made from metal and plastic. Or perhaps you believe them to be terrible hell-demons, with skin made out of scales wrapped […]

Hey look it’s John McCain, doing a “rap.” Silly liberals. Don’t you know that if you can pronounce the name of a Muslim, then YOU are a Muslim too? [YouTube]