Tag: mahmoud ahmadinejad

Hell Is Other Countries: Sarin In Syria, A New Man In Iran

Our ten-foot pole has arrived, which means we are finally ready to touch the dual shitstorms of Syria and Iran! The latest news on Syria is that our duly-elected warlord, Field Marshal B. Barry Bamz, has decided to steer...

Gun News Roundup: Wayne LaPierre Is A Vile Sack of Garbage, Plus Some Things You Might Have Not Already Known

Greetings, representatives of the People’s Glorious Wonkitburo! We thought we would start this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands with a gun-related tale that could have had terrible and tragic consequences for world diplomacy, but because no one was...

Earth’s Sentient Population Urges John McCain To Just Shut The Hell Up Already, Please

Poor dumb (clueless? Nahh, definitely dumb) old man John "That One" McCain simply does not see why anyone is making a fuss over his simple little joke calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a monkey, because for god's sake, people, it...

NATO Murders Gaddafi’s Son, Three Grandchildren

While America's useless young people were busy chanting brain-dead Neanderthal slogans in front of the White House on Sunday, angry mobs of uncivilized Africans attacked many of the Western embassies in Tripoli! Why would they do something so loathsome...

Lindsey Graham Needs To Bomb Iran So Badly

Oh man, when John Bolton finds out about this he is going to jizz red, white & blue: Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said Monday that the United States must be prepared to use military force to prevent Iran...

Here Is Video Evidence of Jane Harman With Her ‘Boyfriend’ Ahmadinejad

Here is California Republican Mattie Fein and a person playing Rep. Jane Harman, her opponent in this year's midterm / contest to see who can make dumber cultural allusions. So this is what the Newsweek offices look like these...

The Kagan Confirmation Process: Still Happening, We Guess

You probably just assumed that Elana Kagan has been on the Supreme Court for months, stone cold legislating from the bench and making everyone have gay abortions without their guns or whatever, but in fact she still has to...

Friendly German Octopus a Sworn Enemy of the Islamic Republic

What have you infidels done this time to infuriate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad so thoroughly? (Trick question, for your very existence forces Ahmadinejad to hate you at all hours of the day.) But his never-ceasing hatred has just been multiplied by...

Hillary Clinton Is President of Outer Space

Did you hear old what's-his-name, "Current Bogeyman," just rappin' about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must've run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE?? Anyway, then Hillary took her Diplomatic Shuttle down from the...

Bill Kristol Has An Opinion Re: The Iranian Situation!

Oh boy look at this, a midday blog post about Iran from ever-smiling warfapper and on/off Washington Post "lightning rod conservative" Bill Kristol! He is mad at Barack Obama for keeping his silence over the weekend, instead of immersing...

Sneering, Evil Website Laughs At Iranian Horror

Let's see, sham election resulting in much Western/Israeli War Lust, voters beaten and shot at and murdered in the streets, global crisis, etc. So what's famously amoral "win the afternoon" sleaze dealer The Politico got to say about it...

Everyone Declares Victory In Iranian Election

The polls have closed in Iran's presidential election and we have a winner: it's the American neoconservatives' candidate, beloved hard-right lunatic and homosexual dresser Mahmoud Ahmadinjead! Now we get to bomb them because why not? The dick won! The...

Neocons Pulling Hard For Ahmadinejad

America's neoconservatives simply do not care for democratic or reformist movements arising organically among the citizens of tyrannical nations. What is America supposed to do, right? Who are these "self-interested" clowns crowding out the strong arm of the American...

Body Parts And Bodily Functions

By the Comics CurmudgeonYou would be forgiven if you assumed that the members of our political class were terrible killer cyborgs, sent from the future to kill us all, with skeletons and organs made from metal and plastic. Or...

Why Does John McCain Hate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

Hey look it's John McCain, doing a "rap." Silly liberals. Don't you know that if you can pronounce the name of a Muslim, then YOU are a Muslim too?

Your Wonkette Blingee Larry King Ahmad Dealy Contest Winners Hooray!

GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of...