mahmoud ahmadinejad
Gun News Roundup: Wayne LaPierre Is A Vile Sack of Garbage, Plus Some Things You Might Have Not Already Known
Greetings, representatives of the People’s Glorious Wonkitburo! We thought we would start this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands with a gun-related tale that could have had terrible and tragic consequences for world diplomacy, but because no one was hit with any shotgun pellets, turned out to be amusing in a “Holy flurking shnit” sort [...]
Earth’s Sentient Population Urges John McCain To Just Shut The Hell Up Already, Please
Poor dumb (clueless? Nahh, definitely dumb) old man John “That One” McCain simply does not see why anyone is making a fuss over his simple little joke calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a monkey, because for god’s sake, people, it is a JOKE and also did you notice that Iran is our enemy? And it’s always OK [...]
NATO Murders Gaddafi’s Son, Three Grandchildren
While America’s useless young people were busy chanting brain-dead Neanderthal slogans in front of the White House on Sunday, angry mobs of uncivilized Africans attacked many of the Western embassies in Tripoli! Why would they do something so loathsome and disgusting? (Ha-ha, which “they” are we talking about, again?) Here is your “no fly zone,” [...]
Lindsey Graham Needs To Bomb Iran So Badly
Oh man, when John Bolton finds out about this he is going to jizz red, white & blue: Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said Monday that the United States must be prepared to use military force to prevent Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon — and added that the last-resort step should be taken [...]
Here Is Video Evidence of Jane Harman With Her ‘Boyfriend’ Ahmadinejad
Here is California Republican Mattie Fein and a person playing Rep. Jane Harman, her opponent in this year’s midterm / contest to see who can make dumber cultural allusions. So this is what the Newsweek offices look like these days? [YouTube]
The Kagan Confirmation Process: Still Happening, We Guess
You probably just assumed that Elana Kagan has been on the Supreme Court for months, stone cold legislating from the bench and making everyone have gay abortions without their guns or whatever, but in fact she still has to be confirmed by the full Senate. Is this a thing that will happen? Probably! The New [...]
Friendly German Octopus a Sworn Enemy of the Islamic Republic
What have you infidels done this time to infuriate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad so thoroughly? (Trick question, for your very existence forces Ahmadinejad to hate you at all hours of the day.) But his never-ceasing hatred has just been multiplied by infinity, thanks in part to a certain German octopus by the name of Paul, who is [...]
Hillary Clinton Is President of Outer Space
Did you hear old what’s-his-name, “Current Bogeyman,” just rappin’ about Chomsky at the United Nations today? He must’ve run really fast from that Pathfinder he left in Times Square, AMIRITE??
Sneering, Evil Website Laughs At Iranian Horror
Let’s see, sham election resulting in much Western/Israeli War Lust, voters beaten and shot at and murdered in the streets, global crisis, etc. So what’s famously amoral “win the afternoon” sleaze dealer The Politico got to say about it all? Ah, right …. [Link Ban Back On]
Everyone Declares Victory In Iranian Election
The polls have closed in Iran’s presidential election and we have a winner: it’s the American neoconservatives’ candidate, beloved hard-right lunatic and homosexual dresser Mahmoud Ahmadinjead! Now we get to bomb them because why not? The dick won! The dick won! In other news, we have another winner in Iran’s presidential election: Mir Hussein Moussavi, [...]
Neocons Pulling Hard For Ahmadinejad
America’s neoconservatives simply do not care for democratic or reformist movements arising organically among the citizens of tyrannical nations. What is America supposed to do, right? Who are these “self-interested” clowns crowding out the strong arm of the American military, which only wants to give them their freedoms after killing them all? Do they hate [...]
Why Does John McCain Hate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
Hey look it’s John McCain, doing a “rap.” Silly liberals. Don’t you know that if you can pronounce the name of a Muslim, then YOU are a Muslim too? [YouTube]
Your Wonkette Blingee Larry King Ahmad Dealy Contest Winners Hooray!
GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers [...]
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