Wonkette

Hey look it’s John McCain, doing a “rap.” Silly liberals. Don’t you know that if you can pronounce the name of a Muslim, then YOU are a Muslim too? [YouTube]

GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers of worthless crap and (2) the word “HOBBIT” lit on fire. So everyone congratulate Hans and his illegal migrant family! Five other finalists, after the jump. You will have many seizures. MORE »

HA HA HA we are posting this picture because it’s funny. Apparently Larry King is interviewing, whatsisname, King Ahmad of France. On the teevee. So, CONTEST: Everyone design a Blingee for this photo, e-mail a link to the finished product to tips@wonkette.com (subject line: “LARRY KING ES HALF-BREED MUSLIN”), and we’ll post the best one at some point so you can be “famous.” [The Page]

• PALIN FOOLISHLY SAYS WORDS AGAIN: We’re getting used to this routine where once a day, usually mid-afternoon, a spasm of death shoots up our right arm after reading the latest Sarah Palin platitude. Is this what cancer feels like, cancer people? Today she pretended to care about Jews, and she went all in: “I will continue to call for sustained action to prevent Iranian President Ahmadinejad from getting these weapons that he wants for a second holocaust.” Good god, she is an actual tumor. Does she know nothing? If she ever *listened* to Ahmadinejad, she’d know that there never was a first holocaust. [ABC News]

Johnny McClassy has been running versions of this ad all over the Internet, in which Obama is giving Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the sexy bedroom Muslim devil eyes before holding a “summit” in his pants at an undisclosed Motel 6. [John McCain]

George W. Bush has two great ambitions in life: to be the president of Major League Baseball, and to bomb Iran. He will accomplish the second in his waning days in public office before retiring and turning his attention to the very important task of running the sport of baseball into the ground. MORE »

Here’s something that should cheer up the Paultards: while President Obama may continue destroying the Constitution, it could be worse — Iran’s government actually plans on turning off the Internet. As you may recall, this is the Paultards’ worst fear. According to Iranian news outlets, the government may block private access to the Internet during the nation’s legislative elections on May 14. They are worried that political parties could abuse it to spread “news information,” a recent evolution from the Internet’s original purpose, showing pictures of naked ladies. MORE »

Americans in the Greater Brackish Waters Of The Chesapeake/Potomac Region have joined many other states in throwing their collective panties at Barry Hussein! With Obamamentum gaining speed, the left needs to ask itself what it always asks itself when it comes time to make important decisions: “What do filthy foreigners think about this?” Fortunately, the aforementioned Foreigns are willing to talk about it, at great length, on the Internet! Also, is Barack Obama secretly Iranian, too? MORE »

George Bush and Tony Blair? Meh. The hot, new world leader-BFFs are A’jad and Chavez, those two crazy and totally-not-gay kids! The dynamic duo bonded over their shared hatred of the U.S. this weekend which, luckily for them, was held in Saudi Arabia because there are no gays in Iran. And what did they do in sunny Riyadh besides compare penis sizes?

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Did you know the whole Iran-White House thing is a big scam because both Bush and Ahmadinejad answer to the same boss, Satan? Well it could be true, as proven by this Conspiracy Planet photo comparison showing both unloved presidents doing the HAIL SATAN gesture. We’ve often posted pictures of Bush Junior worshiping his father in hell, but this is the first time we’ve seen Iranian McBeardy guy rocking the Heavy Metal Hands — and check him out, all double-barreled and whatnot. MORE »

OMFG the nerve of that sonofabitch! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants to see the World Trade Center “Ground Zero” site in NYC! [WCBS/Fark]