It’s Wednesday, everyone, and that’s the day of the week that the New York Times releases its Sunday Magazine to the Internet and Richard Cohen’s hated BlackBerrys! Obama must be so happy. Especially this week, because he’s mentioned in it! This issue’s cover story profiles legendary Hawk and Dove drunk Robert Gibbs, Obama’s former campaign communications “czar” and press secretary-elect. The Times‘ excellent Mark Leibovitch wrote the piece, so it’s quite readable and you may want to go through the whole thing yourself. But since you all are lazy unemployed slobs, we’ve extracted some of the more delightful bits below. Teaser: Obama is a hologram? MORE »

…And/or NOT! Yes, that fancy hyped New York Times Magazine piece about the internals of the McCain campaign is now available online, because of YOU, Wonkette readers, who spammed the shit out of Bill Kristol’s Weekly Standard inbox yesterday. Good work. Unfortunately, the piece is kind of bleh, with not nearly as much sexy “late Hillary Clinton campaign”-style adviser-on-adviser slap fights. The overall message, which you may have predicted, is that WALNUTS! is not as good of a politician as Barack Obama, ergo the current “losing” situation in which he finds himself deeply embedded. Nevertheless, let’s run through some highlights. MORE »

The esteemed, venerable and important New York Times Sunday Magazine this week spends TEN WHOLE INTERNET PAGES speaking from the side of its jaw about this black feller, Obaramasama, and how none of the “real” whites like him really at all. See on the cover there, he’s talking to any white guy in a secret black cave with minimal lighting, and that white guy probably hates his filthy rotten guts. Or something? Oh bollocks, just make a glass of gin with scotch and read this million-word article by the reliable Matt Bai about a subject every magazine has written about fourteen thousand times already. Obama talks about Bittergate and some other stuff. [NYT Mag]

“No one would do such a cover of McCain, playing into the most damaging rumors, but imagine this: a jaunty young John, in his pilot uniform, sitting comfortably and chatting with his Vietnamese captors. Two gorgeous gals serve his every wish. He is smoking a cigar and drinking a martini. In the next room other POWs are being intensively interrogated. Ha ha, Republicans?” [Cover by Jeremy Glass, inspired by Blorts and Lew Rockwell ... wait, what?]

Who cares about the stupid New Yorker cover? It just makes the silly-sallies at the Obama campaign look like, uh, silly-sallies, and makes the New Yorker look terribly unfunny, which it is, except for that Anthony Lane who is a stitch. No, the New Yorker is a not a comedic but a Journalistic magazine — and it can also help you figure out your summer vacations plans! Since you all have no homes or money, consider spending your “staycation” this way: roll yourself in a barrel down the street to your nearest public library with free Internet access, go to NewYorker.com and spend an ENTIRE WEEK reading Ryan Lizza’s 15,000-word — that’s 15 internet pages! — opus on Barack Obama’s Chicago days. What fun! We heard that Barack Obama threatens to kick someone’s ass in the piece, and since we are Dumb Americans, we found this juicy bit and read nothing else. MORE »

Further proof that Our Media still conceives of Barack Obama as a 27-year-old NBA All Star. Oh man, look at the size of that boner on John McCain! Why won’t Walnuts show any nip action, however? TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, SHOW YR NIPPLES. [Photo illustration by Andrew Eccles for New York Magazine]

Here’s yet another profile from another New York magazine that we read due to boredom, although this magazine is literally called New York. This story is about your favorite recluse, Hillary Clinton, and the last days of her campaign. The writer gets many interviews with her, too! The gist of the story is that because of her utter failure as a politician, strategist and manager for the first year of her campaign, followed by her complete switch to manipulation, demagoguery, lies and pandering after her loss was almost mathematically sealed, Hillary Clinton at this very moment is a “Superstar,” the greatest fucking mammal this world has seen or will ever know. MORE »

ELDERLY LIBERAL MAGAZINE ENDORSES OBAMA: In an embarrassing effort to attract illiterate “youth voters,” an old political magazine called The Nation has endorsed “youth sensation” Barack Obama. [CBS News]

Not that we are particularly interesting in talking about GQ more, but, you know, they sent us their ranked list of the 50 most powerful people in Washington (part of their SPECIAL POLITICS ISSUE), and we just want to get posting about it over with before this actually hits newsstands and 500 people email to ask WHY WE HAVEN’T COVERED IT. It’s a surprisingly decent little list! They asked a bunch of people who knew, mostly, what they were talking about, the lame gimmick entries (Reagan! Even though he’s dead he’s more powerful than Joe Lieberman!) aren’t too egregious, and overall nothing is too embarrassingly wrong. Oh, except for their choice of the single most powerful person in Washington. MORE »

This month, Barack Obama graces the first political cover of GQ since 1992’s “Bill Clinton and Al Gore pick their favorite warm weather duds for a stylish Summer.” Ryan Lizza writes a zillion words about the
perpetually second-place Dem optimism junkie. Long story short: he likes change and hope and shit, and also everyone loves him but for some reason no one wants to vote for him. But boy, does he photograph well!

Above the Fray [GQ]

Last Friday, DC welcomed new culture magazine artcade with a totally kickass party out in Logan. MORE »