Wonkette

“No one would do such a cover of McCain, playing into the most damaging rumors, but imagine this: a jaunty young John, in his pilot uniform, sitting comfortably and chatting with his Vietnamese captors. Two gorgeous gals serve his every wish. He is smoking a cigar and drinking a martini. In the next room other POWs are being intensively interrogated. Ha ha, Republicans?” [Cover by Jeremy Glass, inspired by Blorts and Lew Rockwell ... wait, what?]

Who cares about the stupid New Yorker cover? It just makes the silly-sallies at the Obama campaign look like, uh, silly-sallies, and makes the New Yorker look terribly unfunny, which it is, except for that Anthony Lane who is a stitch. No, the New Yorker is a not a comedic but a Journalistic magazine — and it can also help you figure out your summer vacations plans! Since you all have no homes or money, consider spending your “staycation” this way: roll yourself in a barrel down the street to your nearest public library with free Internet access, go to NewYorker.com and spend an ENTIRE WEEK reading Ryan Lizza’s 15,000-word — that’s 15 internet pages! — opus on Barack Obama’s Chicago days. What fun! We heard that Barack Obama threatens to kick someone’s ass in the piece, and since we are Dumb Americans, we found this juicy bit and read nothing else. MORE »

Further proof that Our Media still conceives of Barack Obama as a 27-year-old NBA All Star. Oh man, look at the size of that boner on John McCain! Why won’t Walnuts show any nip action, however? TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, SHOW YR NIPPLES. [Photo illustration by Andrew Eccles for New York Magazine]

Here’s yet another profile from another New York magazine that we read due to boredom, although this magazine is literally called New York. This story is about your favorite recluse, Hillary Clinton, and the last days of her campaign. The writer gets many interviews with her, too! The gist of the story is that because of her utter failure as a politician, strategist and manager for the first year of her campaign, followed by her complete switch to manipulation, demagoguery, lies and pandering after her loss was almost mathematically sealed, Hillary Clinton at this very moment is a “Superstar,” the greatest fucking mammal this world has seen or will ever know. MORE »

ELDERLY LIBERAL MAGAZINE ENDORSES OBAMA: In an embarrassing effort to attract illiterate “youth voters,” an old political magazine called The Nation has endorsed “youth sensation” Barack Obama. [CBS News]

Not that we are particularly interesting in talking about GQ more, but, you know, they sent us their ranked list of the 50 most powerful people in Washington (part of their SPECIAL POLITICS ISSUE), and we just want to get posting about it over with before this actually hits newsstands and 500 people email to ask WHY WE HAVEN’T COVERED IT. It’s a surprisingly decent little list! They asked a bunch of people who knew, mostly, what they were talking about, the lame gimmick entries (Reagan! Even though he’s dead he’s more powerful than Joe Lieberman!) aren’t too egregious, and overall nothing is too embarrassingly wrong. Oh, except for their choice of the single most powerful person in Washington. MORE »

This month, Barack Obama graces the first political cover of GQ since 1992’s “Bill Clinton and Al Gore pick their favorite warm weather duds for a stylish Summer.” Ryan Lizza writes a zillion words about the
perpetually second-place Dem optimism junkie. Long story short: he likes change and hope and shit, and also everyone loves him but for some reason no one wants to vote for him. But boy, does he photograph well!

Above the Fray [GQ]

Last Friday, DC welcomed new culture magazine artcade with a totally kickass party out in Logan. MORE »

TIME magazine is cherished by seniors who can’t turn on the computer because they got a virus from the Earthlink modem in 1998 — in other words, “American voters.” But what if TIME was consciously trying to keep the elderly misinformed?

Read the rest of this post, after the jump.

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They hired a Foer, they refuse to institutionalize Marty Peretz, and now they’re owned by the McKenzie brothers. A “Canadian media giant” has purchased a majority stake in the New Republic, that venerable 92-year-old joke. MORE »