Tag Archives: mafia

  konspiracy korner

What Really Happened To Harry Reid? The Wingnut Theories Might Not Surprise You!

Time to retire, old man.
A friend of mine was in Las Vegas a week or two ago. He talked to a number of people there about Reid’s accident, and didn’t find anyone who believed the elastic exercise band story. The common assumption was that the incident resulted, in some fashion, from Reid’s relationship with organized crime. The principal rumor my friend heard was that Reid had promised to obtain some benefit for a group of mobsters. He met with them on New Year’s Day, and broke the bad news that he hadn’t been able to deliver what he promised. When the mobsters complained, Reid (according to the rumor) made a comment that they considered disrespectful, and one of them beat him up. – John Hinderaker, Powerline blog Read more on What Really Happened To Harry Reid? The Wingnut Theories Might Not Surprise You!…
  ball so hard

Pope Francis Just Kicked The Entire Mafia Straight Out The Catholic Church

So last year we asked the not-new-anymore Pope to cool it on the whole Mafia-bashing, mostly because we don’t want them to put a hit out on Francis. He hasn’t gotten rid of nearly enough creepy John Paul II and Benedict XIV-appointed archbishops to ensure that a cool New New Pope would ascend. But Pope Francis did not listen to us, and yesterday he excommunicated the Mafia en masse. Read more on Pope Francis Just Kicked The Entire Mafia Straight Out The Catholic Church…
  something something cannoli

Al Sharpton Denies He Was Ever A Matinee Hero Mob Informant For The FBI

Yesterday, The Smoking Gun published a ninety-zillion word story on Al Sharpton’s time as an FBI informant who spent several years helping the bureau — oh, sorry, The Bureau — get leads on Mafia figures in the Genovese crime family, even using a wired briefcase to record conversations. And yet, despite the marketability of such an exciting narrative, Sharpton has so far disputed much of the Smoking Gun’s story, and denies that he was an informant, insisting that he was actually the victim of threats from organized crime, and that therefore the limited cooperation that he gave the FBI didn’t count as “informing,” and no way was he an “informant.” We can’t for the life of us imagine why any public figure would want to deny their role in investigating the criminal activities of the mob, really. Read more on Al Sharpton Denies He Was Ever A Matinee Hero Mob Informant For The FBI…
  we like you better alive

Hey New Pope, Maybe You Could Ssshhhhhh About The Mafia, Thanks

Dear New Pope, Francis 1, aka “Hey, it’s me, the Pope!”: We at Wonket are just about your biggest fans, with the “next John XXIII” stuff, and the not hating gays as much as usual, and the defrocking of people not for being Liberation Theologists but for being too fancy while the flock goes unclothed. Even most of our Terrible Ones, the commenters, are getting to the point where they like you in spite of themselves and ARGLEBARGLE ALTAR BOYZZZZZ!!!1! So could you maybe hush your mouth about the Mafia? Just ssshhhhh. Zip it. ZIP. IT. Zip it. New Pope, we are sure your reward is on heaven, but we’d prefer that you stay a little longer here first. Read more on Hey New Pope, Maybe You Could Ssshhhhhh About The Mafia, Thanks…
  let's go do some crimes!

Meet Terrifying Pennsylvania GOP Crime Family ‘The Orie Sisters’

Hey, The Wire, would you like to come back on the television set, but ran out of every kind of scumbag hero society could possibly hold? Have you met Allegheny County’s the Orie sisters, who are all either on trial now or already convicted felons for misusing their state Senate and state Supreme Court offices, and also forgery and (we’re just spitballing here) probably murder and twincest? Convicted Pennsylvania state Sen. Jane Orie stepped down from her seat Monday, a few days after her state Supreme Court justice sister was charged with similar allegations she used taxpayer-funded staff for campaigns. The Allegheny County Republican submitted her resignation in a letter to Senate President Joe Scarnati dated Friday , the same day Justice Joan Orie Melvin was charged with using her Superior Court staff for campaign work during two bids for a seat on the high court. LADIES, LADIES! STOP CRIME-SPREEING PENNSYLVANIA! Read more on Meet Terrifying Pennsylvania GOP Crime Family ‘The Orie Sisters’…
  kleptocracy

Bank of America Exec Whispers To Rick Perry: ‘We’ll Help You Out’ (VIDEO)

Criminal mortgage-fraud syndicate Bank of America announced today that it’s laying off another 10,000 workers. Also, BofA has been caught employing a military contractor to conduct “cyber war” against business journalists reporting on Bank of America’s constant crimes. What else has BofA been up to, other than having a 50% plunge in stock value this year that is destroying the pension funds and 401ks of millions of relatively innocent Americans? Here’s some BofA douche (is that a toupee?) whispering tenderly to Texan corporate clown Rick Perry. What’s he promising? Read more on Bank of America Exec Whispers To Rick Perry: ‘We’ll Help You Out’ (VIDEO)…
  mission from gahd

Blagojevich & Sam Zell’s Comical Wrigley Field Crime Caper

Rod Blagojevich, you are a hero — you are still giving to us, in the form of comic material, months after you’ve been removed from the Illinois governor’s office. (Not that you ever actually went to the Illinois governor’s office, but you know what we mean, you fuckin’ guy.) And today, a new scheme, or at least new details on an old scheme: the bankrupt media operation Tribune Co. was riding Blago hard to get Illinois to buy Wrigley Field from Tribune. And when current Tribune owner-weirdo Sam Zell and Blago discussed the scam, they referred to it as “Project Elwood.” Read more on Blagojevich & Sam Zell’s Comical Wrigley Field Crime Caper…
  never forget

Bush Pardons Real-Estate Criminal Whose Dad Donated $28,500 To Republican Party

Nothing says “Christmas” like pardoning a bunch of terrible criminals — it’s like the original, fun, pre-Jesus Christmas, which the Romans called Saturnalia, in honor of beleaguered General Motors’ “different kind of car company,” Saturn. Back then, the Midwinter Holiday included such goofs as “letting slaves get it on with your wives” and “fucking said slaves in their butts, before beheading them,” and also, “emperors giving presents (severed heads) to other slaves.” It was likely very awesome. Anyway, let’s meet George W. Bush Junior’s latest bunch of dope fiends made free by Imperial Decree. Read more on Bush Pardons Real-Estate Criminal Whose Dad Donated $28,500 To Republican Party…
 

GOP bigshot who put up a million dollars’ worth of Bush 2000 campaign billboards tied to both private jets loaded with tons of cocaine caught by Mexico’s drug cops. [Mad Cow Productions] Read more on …
 

Mob Leaders Discussed Whacking 9/11

Testimony at an ex-FBI agent’s trial in Brooklyn yesterday revealed that in 1986, the heads of the New York’s five Mafia families debated whacking Rudy Giuliani, then a federal prosecutor. Instead they killed Sonny Corleone, which sucks in retrospect — we could’ve had motherfucking Jimmy Caan running for president, too. Read more on Mob Leaders Discussed Whacking 9/11…
 

Rudy Giuliani’s Best Friend Will Be Indicted, Too

Rudy Giuliani’s best friend, future Secretary of Defense Bernard Kerik, has led a colorful life of being a convicted criminal, New York mobster and sex creep. Bernie also almost got the best mafia job of all, thanks to Rudy: handing out gazillions of federal dollars to “the family” as Bush’s director of the cash-cow Homeland Security Department. And now, once again, Kerik’s going to be indicted — this time by the Feds. Read more on Rudy Giuliani’s Best Friend Will Be Indicted, Too…
 

Rudy Giuliani Loves, Hates & Is The Mafia

His cousins, uncle and even his own father were all mafioso, which maybe explains why the self-hating Giuliani dedicated so much of his professional life to crushing the Family Business by prosecuting such beloved mob figures as “Fat Tony” Salerno. At the same time, his perverse obsession with dressing up as fictional characters (usually women) means he also loves acting like characters from fictional mob movies such as “The Godfather.” But enough about Rudy’s 1,700 mental problems; let’s review his own family’s life of crime: Read more on Rudy Giuliani Loves, Hates & Is The Mafia…
 

If the Bushes Hate Ron Paul, Then America Loves Ron Paul

Here is something we’ve figured out about Ron Paul: We don’t care about him one way or the other, he’s got a dumb & humorless campaign staff, and his supporters are a bunch of dingbats who project whatever oddball stuff they believe on the guy. But you know what? We still endorse Ron Paul for president, because the Bushes have tried and failed to stop him in the past. Read more on If the Bushes Hate Ron Paul, Then America Loves Ron Paul…
 

Remember, the CIA Only Did Bad Things a Long Time Ago!

Some intelligence experts suggested on Tuesday that the release of the documents was intended to distract from the current controversies. Wow, you think? Sure, the CIA is involved in a few “controversies,” but certainly noting serious such as: Read more on Remember, the CIA Only Did Bad Things a Long Time Ago!…
 

Metro Section: You’d Muder if You Worked for AOL, Too

* Two AU students killed in a hit and run. [Read Express] * Free dog: “A young black lab followed some joggers from Rock Creek Park and entered my back yard on Shepherd Street today (Friday at noon).” [Petworth News] * Steer clear of tomorrow’s protest route: “The march will begin at 12:30PM. Participants will cross Memorial Bridge into Arlington and walk to the Pentagon North parking lot for a rally.” [MetrobloggingDC] * Disney announces black princess: “Will Disney just try to paint a black face on a princess and call her the first of her kind and yet, not give the story any ‘cultural’ distinction?” [Sugar N Spice] * DC has an AOL Irish Mafia. [Adam’s R&R] Read more on Metro Section: You’d Muder if You Worked for AOL, Too…