Tag Archives: madonna

  You Oughta Know That Yr Wrong

Angry Feminist Angry Angry Feminist Isn’t Angry Feminist Enough

You know every word, do not lie.
Okay, we are going to say DISCLAIMER ALERT and TRIGGER WARNING, because we are about to write about how a thing written by a person who has ALWAYS been personally very nice to us is Wrong About A Thing.* We trust that she and we are both grown-up enough to have an intellectual discussion without it degenerating into FISTICUFFS. So, without further ado: Read more on Angry Feminist Angry Angry Feminist Isn’t Angry Feminist Enough…
  all along the watchtowers

Sundays With The Christianists: Their Satanic Majesties Request … MORE COWBELL!

Satan's gang signs -- All the proof you need!
Rightwing radio preacher and homeschooling guru Kevin Swanson is starting to let us down, folks — the penultimate chapter of his e-rant about the inevitable doom of western civilization is just about the laziest attack on the supposedly corrupting influence of popular music that we’ve read in quite a while. He’s devoted most of his e-guide to the cultural apocalypse, Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, to explaining why most of the “great” works of Western philosophy and literature have actually served to debase our civilization and attack Christianity, which leaves his single chapter on popular culture feeling like something of an afterthought, although he certainly bills it as a real barn-burner: Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Their Satanic Majesties Request … MORE COWBELL!…
  freeeeee nelson mandela

Madonna Is Your New Nelson Mandela! Please Pass The Cyanide.

Life is a mystery
Last year, Madonna put herself in Art Jail, with a 17-minute tone poem about how … the oppression was coming from inside the house! It was hilarious, and ridiculose, and full of hot dudes doing really good ripoffs of Chicago, and it was all about, like, stuff. (Go on, click over to our little sister site HappyNiceTimePeople.com, which we done sold but we still get $$$ from it! We wrote the thing, so you know it’s finger-lickin’ good!) Now, Madonna is going even further, by sexplaining that she is basically Nelson Mandela, known to his countrymen as “Madiba.” That is like ONE SYLLABLE AWAY from Madonna! So you know that it is true. Read more on Madonna Is Your New Nelson Mandela! Please Pass The Cyanide….
  the superb owl is not what it seems

Another Super Bowl Halftime Show, Another Coded Illuminati Message

You may be amused by the nine minutes of pure weirdness in this here exposé of the Secret Illuminati Symbolism in Bruno Mars’ Sportsball Halftime Extravaganza. Apparently, all SportsBowl halftime shows — like last year’s, with the Beyoncé — are simply shot through with Illuminati messages, because in addition to secretly running the world, the Illuminati just can’t seem to stop themselves from sending messages coded in the rhythmic language of dance. Happily, if you’ve read lots of children’s books like Redwall, you are really good at seeing secret messages sewn into banners and tucked away in the details of architecture. So what are the hidden Illuminati messages of Bruno Mars and his Spiders From Ziggy Stardust? Read more on Another Super Bowl Halftime Show, Another Coded Illuminati Message…
  eww! cooties!

Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay

The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off with an opinion on whether Lady Gaga is original or merely a ripoff of Madonna, for one, which is not something everyday red-blooded American men usually talk about when they make pained conversation with one another after church. “Sexual orientation is fluid and is hardly a fixed, immovable thing,” Fischer says now. Uh oh, gays. Is Bryan Fischer about to join your team? Have your sexy bodies turned him into an ex-straight? Read more on Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay…
  the homosexuals!

Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, “a new gospel”: All of the world’s lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at a big Jesus party thrown by My Boyfriend Lou Engle. Though he has failed utterly in his mission from God to save San Francisco from Chadd, the three-story-tall homosexual Jesus giant, Lou called in a crazy Jeebus lady named Cindy Jacobs to take care of all the lesbians, and oh boy, did she ever! Read more on Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist…
  like a sturgeon

Did Mean Old Sarah Palin Steal Michele Bachmann’s Jewelry?

So much to report from yesterday’s Bachmann-Palin “Mean Ladies’ Smackdown,” but where do we start? How about with this shocking evidence that clenched-jaw anger bear Sarah Palin was so excited about her costume (Madonna’s mom?) that she swiped all of Michele Bachmann’s tacky necklaces. [Washington Post via Wonkette Operative Patrick E.] Read more on Did Mean Old Sarah Palin Steal Michele Bachmann’s Jewelry?…
  drink up hopey

Happy Friday From Our Drinking President

After eight years of that alky teetotaler George W. Bush, it’s always a delight to see that your president is man enough to have a beer without turning into some raging drunken elder-abusing asshole. Here is Barack Obama just cold slurpin’ a cold one with his powerful baseball-fan friends. On the left, let’s see, that’s probably Bill Gates. Hi Bill! And on the right … hmm, maybe Madonna? Let’s say Madonna. [White House Flickr] Read more on Happy Friday From Our Drinking President…
 

Hillary Is One of Madonna’s “Girls”

Madonna is back in the States, fake accent and all, to help her husband promote his new movie and to do a little promotion of her own. Of all the things one of American’s most famous expats could have been asked about on the red carpet, Madonna was asked which of the two front runners she liked best. Read more on Hillary Is One of Madonna’s “Girls”…
 

Metro Section: Cheese Fetish, Turban Fetish, Tired Attempts at Humor Through Misogyny Fetish

* Annual Arlingtonians for a Clean Environment meeting tonight. [The Green Miles] * Cowgirl Creamery debuts nettle covered “St. Pat’s”cheese on Saturday. [Counter Intelligence] * Only two more DCist Exposed shopping days at the Warehouse. [DCist] * Is the H&M fashion turban Madonna designed racist? [Chit Chat] * Awesome sighting in Maryland, “Above All Drywall” [Confessions of a Cartographer] * Woman dated 34 men off Craigslist and writes about them, Roosh says “We are now living in a society where a very thick girl can judge other men who, unlike her, have the willpower to stop shoveling double-meat cheesesteaks in their mouth.” [Roosh V] Read more on Metro Section: Cheese Fetish, Turban Fetish, Tired Attempts at Humor Through Misogyny Fetish…
 

Gossip Roundup: You Are Too Old and Not Popular Enough

Reliable Source: Tom Hanks and Dennis Miller spotted at the Spy Museum after Saturday’s Nats game. [WP] Heard on the Hill: Rep. Robert Wexler (D-Fla.) enjoys coke and prostas, owes his career to Flava Flav’s “The Flavor of Love.” [Roll Call] Read more on Gossip Roundup: You Are Too Old and Not Popular Enough…
 

To Do: Something for Everyone

* Bach + Beatles = Brilliant or Bizarre? [The Washington Ballet via DCist] * Don’t miss Madonnarama on Saturday night. Maybe Barney Frank and David Dreier will show up to stump for Congressional Catfight votes. [My People Connection] Read more on To Do: Something for Everyone…
 

Madonna Urges You To Lick Cheney’s Bald Head

When it comes to musicians, President Bush just can’t get any love. He gets pseudo-snubbed by Jessica Simpson. Then Neil Young records a song entitled “Impeach the President.” And now, Madonna weighs in: Read more on Madonna Urges You To Lick Cheney’s Bald Head…
 

They’d Blame the Gays for Global Warming Too — If Only They Believed In It

Our friends Down Under bring us this news dispatch: An outbreak of deadly bird flu in Israel is God’s punishment for calls in election ads to legalise gay marriages, according to Rabbi David Basri, a prominent sage preaching Kabbalah or Jewish mysticism. Read more on They’d Blame the Gays for Global Warming Too — If Only They Believed In It…