Tag Archives: madison

  Bernie Desire

Total Joke Bernie Sanders Draws Ten Thousand For Wisconsin Rally, LOL What A Joke

Screencaps of Bernie smiling are a bit difficult to find
Senator Bernie Sanders had a record crowd at a rally Wednesday in Madison, Wisconsin, drawing nearly 10,000 people to yet another packed event. It’s just the latest huge crowd for Sanders, who has been polling surprisingly well against Hillary Clinton in Iowa and in New Hampshire. We like Bernie so much that we’re even willing to put up with people yelling “Feel the Bern!” Maybe. We’re almost starting to think that all this Bernie enthusiasm is catching on — and for once, we’re looking forward to the Democratic primary debates. Read more on Total Joke Bernie Sanders Draws Ten Thousand For Wisconsin Rally, LOL What A Joke…
  Oy Gefilte!

Scott Walker Wished Jewish Friends A Merry Jewish Christmas And An Incendiary New Year

And then the kids spin the grenadel
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker is definitely giving some serious thought to running for president — like, more serious thought than Donald Trump, even — and to do that, he’s going to have to prove that he is a friend of Israel and of The Jews. Not necessarily a friend to the majority of American Jews, who foolishly keep supporting Democrats, despite Ben Shapiro yelling at them, but he needs to at least prove that he’s worthy of some Sheldon Adelson money. And so he makes the appropriate gestures of love for Israel, which is both a great beacon of democracy and a necessary prop that will be needed to bring about the End Times. He even made a point of goysplaining, at a Las Vegas Adelsonfest, that he named his son Matthew, which is Hebrew for “gift from God,” and that he celebrates the Birth of Our Saviour Jesus Christ with both Christmas lights and “a menorah candle.” See, he’s trying real hard! Unfortunately, not every attempt to be hip and fit in works so well, as we are reminded by Madison’s Capital Times. As part of a document dump from last year’s “John Doe” investigations of Walker’s administration, the group One Wisconsin found an amusing artifact from Walker’s pre-governor days, when he was Milwaukee County executive. Franklyn Gimbel, an attorney from Milwaukee, had written about setting up a Chanukah display at the Milwaukee County Courthouse, and Walker enthusiastically replied: Read more on Scott Walker Wished Jewish Friends A Merry Jewish Christmas And An Incendiary New Year…
  Christie/Walker 2016

Scott Walker Clinches Lowest Seed In 2016 Primary Bracket

So… Wisconsin. We here at the Washington Bureau have largely averted our eyes from this particular race until now, preferring instead to ease ourselves into the abstract knowledge that Scott Walker was, in fact, rewarded for his behavior with another term in office. Read more on Scott Walker Clinches Lowest Seed In 2016 Primary Bracket…
  Walker 2016

Some Of Scott Walker’s Best Friends Are Women

Hey, ladies of Wisconsin! With the election that decides his political future coming up next week, your feminist hero Gov. Scott Walker has remembered that you’re allowed to vote, just in time for him to put one of your kind on TV to make a not-at-all disingenuous play for your support. Read more on Some Of Scott Walker’s Best Friends Are Women…
  Walker's Irregulars

Wisconsin Militia Will Save Election From Criminal Democrats (And Not Just The Black Ones)

Republicans in Wisconsin, and those few Democrats who are not criminals, should be feeling extra safe about Election Day this November. That’s because some anti-labor irregulars left over from the Wisconsin Union Wars are vowing to protect democracy from the many tax dodgers and fugitives who might be tempted to vote against Republican governor and urine enthusiast Scott Walker. Read more on Wisconsin Militia Will Save Election From Criminal Democrats (And Not Just The Black Ones)…
  snuggler's cove

Wisconsin Declares War On Cuddling

In a blow to freedom and weirdass trendiness, the Snuggle House, an innovative business in Madison, Wisconsin, where for $60 an hour you could get all therapeutically cuddled with a “professional snuggler,” has closed. The innocent cuddle-hos of the twee “touch therapy” business were driven out of business by city officials who thought that all this paid pajama-panky was too close to prostitution. Plus silly as all fuck. Read more on Wisconsin Declares War On Cuddling…
  walker's sexy rangers

Madison Partiers Celebrate Their Right To Wonk

YOU CAN’T. YOU CAN’T JUST SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE FACE. Well, we are finally updatin’ atcha with pictures from our Madison, Wisconsin, party, which must have been two months ago now, but after five hard years on the road, we no longer have a concept of things like “months” and “time.” In fact, since that party happened, we actually lost a brother on the fields of Bloody Lawrence — MAN DOWN! — and Miss Lisa Wines had to take a Greyhound bus from Lawrence, Kansas, to Oklahoma City to catch back up. (Wonk parties aren’t for amateurs, LISA.) (Speaking of amateurs: we will be in Dallas TONIGHT at the Uptown Pub, 3605 McKinney Ave., Dallas, TX, US 75204, (214) 522-5100. And we will be in Austin tomorrow, with a party Saturday!) Read more on Madison Partiers Celebrate Their Right To Wonk…
  hot dish

Wonk Your Brains Out Orgy & Tour Tries Midwestern Nice! Madison Tonight, Minneapolis Saturday!

OK, it’s your turn, Wonkconsin and Wonkesota! The Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest-Southwest Orgy and World Tour is in your neck of the woods! Tonight, Friday June 14, 6 p.m.: Madison, Wisconsin. (Can someone invite Scott Walker? Or the Tank Riot guys?) Harmony, 2201 Atwood Ave., Madison, WI 53704 (608) 249-4333 Read more on Wonk Your Brains Out Orgy & Tour Tries Midwestern Nice! Madison Tonight, Minneapolis Saturday!…
  bottoms up

Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest Southwest Orgy And World Tour Starts … Well, Almost Now!

And so it begins. Week One of our Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest Southwest World Tour starts this coming Wednesday, and mama has yet to get a fucking tuneup, gah. Remember, all parties are free unless’n you want to bring a checkbook with donations for Habitat for Humanity, and no, you do not have to be a commenter to attend. We love lurkers best, since they are never BOTHERING us with their SHIT. (Also, you can bring some 20s if you want, we will be selling merch out of the trunk of our car, because “class.”) Wed., June 5, 6 p.m.: We begin in Sarah Palin’s new home state of Scottsdale, Arizona. There will be line dancing or something? We do not know, it is all fucked up. (BLAME LISA WINES, SHE PICKED IT.) Handlebar J, 7116 E Becker Ln., Scottsdale, AZ 85254, (480) 948-0110. Read more on Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest Southwest Orgy And World Tour Starts … Well, Almost Now!…
  let's party!

Argue Amongst Yourselves: Announcing A Rough Draft Of The Wonket Drinky Thing Midwest/Southwest June World Tour!

O hai, we are just making this itinerary. We are getting in the car and actually taking a vacation, one that includes paying someone to be us on this here mommyblog while we are gone, so our only responsibilities for just shy of three weeks will be buying you beer and seeing our mama. It has no dates attached to it except for “mid to late June,” and many of the smaller places (we are talking to you Des Moines) are negotiable for other towns and cities nearby if we hear from a whole bunch of folks that, say, FUCK DES MOINES, etc. So check it: Somewhere around June 15 or 16 or one millionth, we leave Los Angeles for …. Read more on Argue Amongst Yourselves: Announcing A Rough Draft Of The Wonket Drinky Thing Midwest/Southwest June World Tour!…
  bureaucracy fail

Wisconsin Voter ID Law Basically a Huge Pain For Everyone Without ID

Can you solve a Rubix cube? Do you know how to count backwards from 100 by intervals of 8? Can you name the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? No? (Conquest, War, Death and Famine). Okay! Time to start practicing, Wisconsin voters. If you are headed to the DMV to apply for your free state voter ID, you should expect to answer a few riddles before the state just starts “handing out” these cards to any old person for free. Scott Walker wants all of you to WORK FOR SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU FREELOADERS. Or, you could always pay the state the $28 fee for your ID like an actual landowning capitalist patriot, but who can afford it. Riddles it is! So let’s see, how does a Wisconsin voter navigate the DMV office to obtain a voter ID? Oh look, this nice lady made an undercover video instruction manual! Let’s watch:  Read more on Wisconsin Voter ID Law Basically a Huge Pain For Everyone Without ID…
  food fight

Sarah Palin To Be Pelted With Cheese Curds In Wisconsin Saturday

The Koch Brothers think it’s hilarious when their dumb puppets have to go face huge, angry crowds of political opponents. Remember the movie Trading Places? It’s the same idea: Incredibly rich old white creeps just torture their own lackeys whenever it gets dull oppressing the faceless poor and destroying the Earth to make Dixie Cups and Brawny paper douche towels. So the Koch Brothers are bringing Sarah Palin to Madison, right there at the State Capitol, for an “Americans For Prosperity” rally. Haha the union people and college kids are going to pelt her with a million pounds of Wisconsin’s famous Fried Cheese Turds. Or curds, whatever. Curdle Rain. Poor snowbilly grifter! Read more on Sarah Palin To Be Pelted With Cheese Curds In Wisconsin Saturday…
  war all the time

Scenes From a War: Madison After the Union-Busting Bill

Well, they did it — probably unconstitutionally, certainly amorally, but the Wisconsin state senate Republicans crammed through their union-crushing bill tonight, and the response wasn’t very happy from the union workers and protesters and plain decent people of Wisconsin (and beyond) gathered for so long in Madison. Read more on Scenes From a War: Madison After the Union-Busting Bill…
  arrest scott walker now

Madison Police Chief Says Walker’s Comments ‘Unsettling and Troubling’

Unlike the power-worshiping people-hating media whores who dismissed the whole fake-David Koch call that Scott Walker totally believed was really his boss David Koch, the Madison chief of police didn’t brush off Governor Walker’s telephone report card intended for a billionaire corporate master. Madison Police Chief Noble Wray says Walker’s recorded conversation about his plans to use agents provocateurs and thug violence against Wisconsin’s teachers and firefighters and police is “very unsettling and troubling.” Anybody remember when the governor of a neighboring state was impeached and convicted for his recorded conversations about taking simple bribes? Walker’s not only guilty of naked, admitted corruption — Walker has confirmed that it’s his voice saying he planned to hire interstate criminals to use felony violence against his constituents and state employees. Read more on Madison Police Chief Says Walker’s Comments ‘Unsettling and Troubling’…
  free wonkette fingerbangs with a $50+ donation

Help Feed/Clothe/Bathe Wisconsin Protesters! Donate Right Now!

Wonkette operative and UW grad student/Wisconsin-Madison Teaching Assistants’ Association member “Ben” has sent us this email update from Madison, where he is currently State House Squatting: If you want to know what it’s like having protesters ages 0-99 sleeping together, setting up study areas, coffee pots, buffets, and stewardship programs: People donate toothpaste; hundreds of pizzas get delivered daily; cops photograph rallies that go late into the night. Every night more people are switching from sleeping bags to air mattresses. Also there are a lot of teachers here, labor leaders pop in to say hi to working grad students, and the guy from Rage Against the Machine just showed up. I’m going to set up a homework help and grading station tomorrow cuz we all got work to do. Read more on Help Feed/Clothe/Bathe Wisconsin Protesters! Donate Right Now!…
  now it's wisconsin peeing on him

Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Will Not Be On the Ballot

Oh look, it’s our favorite blog, host.madison.com/wsj/news/ local/govt_and_politics/blog. We’ll just take a look-see at what’s happening at the old blog this morn — OH GOD. “Dear Wonkette: We love you so. But we have some terrible news for you. Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. is not actually a candidate for U.S. Senate in Wisconsin.” It seems Pagels somehow failed to get in his required nomination signatures before the deadline, so he will not be on the ballot. But we called Ernest, and he plans to move forward. He is a candidate for U.S. Senate. AND WE WILL MOVE FORWARD TOGETHER. Read more on Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Will Not Be On the Ballot…