Experts weigh in… outsider artist/hipster exploitation subject comments from beyond the grave on George “The Man Who Won’t Be President” Allen Macaca Fracas… an emailer explains: MORE »

• Racism Week started with a bang as George Allen decided there aren’t enough good derogatory terms for brown skinned people and blurted out “Macaca,” in reference to an opponent’s campaign staffer. We spent some time trying to figure out what the fuck that even meant, but as usual it’s Wonkette readers who have the final say.

• They don’t have to invent new racist words in Florida, as congressional candidate Tramm Hudson demonstrates with his “blacks don’t know how to swim” story.
• In the business world, unlike politics, giving an interview where you claim, “Jews, Arabs, and Koreans” rip off black shoppers will actually get you canned.
• Only a few more months of Katherine Harris’s antics are left, so get it while you can.
• Duke Cunningham has fallen far. So far, in fact, that he’s begun taking criminal pointers from The Big Lebowski.
• Even at the top, journalism is about selfless sacrifice in the name of news.
• Local basketball hero Lonny Baxter “practices shooting” in DC, ends up in the slammer.
• Yes, Fidel Castro is still alive, and he’s as fashionable as ever.
• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad started blogging this week. So far, posts are what you’d expect. “Death to Israel” and “When is Vista really coming out?” kind of stuff.

• New lobbying group, “Hybrid Owners of America” to demand unlimited access to smug attitudes. [Detroit News]

• “Driving while honky” soon to be an arrestable offence in the Midwest. [HuffPo]
• In Oregon, macaca isn’t a racial epithet - it’s just a guy. [Re-Elect George Allen! ]
• Jim Saxton (R-NJ) can’t wait to pop a cap in some geese. [AP]
• Iraqi insurgent filmmakers praise Michael Moore, then go back to making bombs. [Reuters]

You see what a week at Wonkette has done to me??? A week at Wonkette and 47 hamburgers???

Well, it’s been a fun week, but my fingers hurt, my eyes are bleary, and I can’t get “macaca” off my mind, no matter how hard I try. So, with no more photos to crop, papers to read, or Marines to mock, I’m throwing caution to the wind and cutting out early. Hey, just like I used to do at my last job!

Thanks to Alex for getting my back this week when I was asleep, drunk, or taking a two-hour lunch break (also just like my last job!), thanks to Messrs. Denton and Steele at Gawker Media, thanks to our intrepid tipsters, and a special thanks to The Man Who Won’t Be President for making it easy for me this week. Without your golden tongue, sir, I would have had to write about real news, and nobody would have wanted to read that. Right?

I wish I had a personal blog to point you towards, but I don’t, because blogging’s for nerds. If you must, you can check me out at Polite Magazine (which will be published sometime before my death), or buy my DVD at the Harmony Joyride store. It’s cheap and funny and features a shitload of fake moustaches. I might be back if they stay desperate over here. God, I hope not. Until then, I’ll be spending my days in drunken incoherence. Hey, just like this guy:

Polite Magazine

All This Murky Green | Buy the DVD

So The Man Who Won’t Be President (TMWWBP) wants to tell his side of the macaca story, and what better way to reach out to the the Internet’s aghast citizenry than a blog? It’s good to see that the tradition of starting fake blogs for public figures continues apace: MORE »

• British Deputy PM calls Bush administration, “crap.” Dick Cheney’s heart warmed by the innocence. [The Independent]

• Sneaky Canadians confuse American governors with their sneaky Canadian jokes. [Boing Boing]
• Willie Nelson makes a non-smokable donation to Cindy Sheehan’s “ranch.” [KCEN-TV]
• Orrin Hatch admits Democrats will take control of Congress, just like their terrorist masters want. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• TSA now targeting people who “looked pissed off,” everyone in the security line at Dulles to be arrested. [NYT]

The voters have spoken:

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Four days in, and what hath Macacagate wrought?

• The end of George Allen’s presidential ambitions.
• A week’s worth of material for us (thanks, George!).
• A shitload of bad Internet art.

Please, people, if you ain’t got the skills to pay the bills, then stop writing bad checks. Or at least stop sending them to us. A rundown of some of the bad macaca-themed art we’ve received this week, after the jump.

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Boy, George Allen must have eaten John McCain’s lunch out of the Senate refrigerator or something. Or maybe McCain is just an ass. Yeah, that’s probably it. McCain cracked wise at an Allen rally in Norfolk yesterday:

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Per our request yesterday, the political operators behind the Macaca CafePress store have indeed improved their offerings — though we’re reposting this one primarily to highlight the unintinentional editorializing by CafePress itself here. MORE »