Tag Archives: macaca

  i love the '00s

‘Macaca’ Legend George Allen Determined To Destroy Wonkette By Being Boring

“George Allen” is one of the names inscribed in gilded letters in Wonkette’s Book of Legends. For those of you too young to remember, he was a senator from Virginia and considered a viable candidate for the Republican nomination in 2008, but before he could become George W. Bush II: The Bushening, he had to win re-election in 2006. This went hilariously wrong, as it did for many Republicans that year, starting with him calling the Indian-American dude who was paid by the Democrats to follow the campaign around with a camcorder “macaca,” which is apparently a weird ethnic slur of some kind. It also came out that maybe he used some less hilarious racial epithets when he was in college, and also put a severed deer’s head in a black family’s mailbox. Next, it turned out his mother was a secret Jew, which he had a dumb freakout about. Then he didn’t get re-elected. BUT! Jim Webb, the Democrat and gun-crazed maniac who beat Allen, is now leaving the Senate in disgust, and Allen has decided to run for is old seat again. Which meant that this year should have been full of fun macaca times, and yet it … hasn’t been? WHOSE FAULT IS THIS? What evil spell have the Jews placed on George Allen, in a plot to reduce Wonkette’s pageviews? Read more on ‘Macaca’ Legend George Allen Determined To Destroy Wonkette By Being Boring…
  camera set me up!

George Allen Again Victimized by Functioning Video Camera (VIDEO)

Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the “X” button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen calling a rival campaign staffer “macaca” was THE END of his political career, which at one time included even some aroused grunting in the direction of the Presidency? Maybe not, because Allen’s still running for Senate. And, wouldn’t you know it, the camera set him up again! Read more on George Allen Again Victimized by Functioning Video Camera (VIDEO)…
  it's morning in america

Macaca Returns: George Allen Running For Senate Again

Still bummed out over America’s comedic loss of Christine O’Donnell? Relax! There’s always another Top Tier Clown that will emerge to provide the laughs in the next election cycle. And the 2012 Humor Olympics have begun, because George Allen will announce today that he’s running for the Senate in Virginia, in 2012! Just six years after this racist buffoon was laughed off the political stage, he is “making a comeback” — this means he will carry a football around for the next two years straight, often while wearing cowboy boots, saying “Reagan” a lot, and sometimes even riding an alive horse. It was the weird “Old Europe” anti-negro slur macaca that ruined his re-election attempt in 2006, but the real beauty of that minor moment was the way it revealed a lifetime of the kind of ugly, deeply racist frat-boy crap you would generally expect from an old white southern rich twit but that isn’t really acceptable these days in states like Virginia, with its whole northern half filled with semi-modern people who have college degrees and hybrids and most of their teeth. Read more on Macaca Returns: George Allen Running For Senate Again… Read more on Macaca Returns: George Allen Running For Senate Again…
  prodigal sons

George Allen Totally Loves Being a Jew Now

George Allen, remember all the fun we had with that guy? Remember when he found out his mother was secretly Jewish and then he had a big freakout when someone asked him about it? And then he lost his Senate re-election, because of of his Jewish nature, or maybe something else, we forget now. Well, in the years since (yes, it’s really been four years since those good times), he’s apparently come more to terms with his Jewitude, because he’s giving a speech at the “National Jewish Retreat,” organized by the Lubavitchers (aka “The Wackiest Jews”)! Read more on George Allen Totally Loves Being a Jew Now…
  great moments in political history

Asian-American Obamatards Celebrate ‘Macaca’ Anniversary

Today marks the two-year anniversary of The Macaca Incident, in which Virginia Republican Sen. George Allen, a then-likely 2008 presidential nominee, called a Jim Webb spy “macaca” — which is like the ersatz “n*****” in certain tropical parts of Asia — leading to a series of Prejudiced hole-digging by Allen (“I’m a Jew? Who knew! Well fuck the Jews”) and an utterly destroyed political career. And tonight there is an “Asian-Americans for Obama” event in Arlington to commemorate the legendary video, and it’s hosted by Kal Penn, the famous stoner actor from Hollywood pictures. [Raising Kaine] Read more on Asian-American Obamatards Celebrate ‘Macaca’ Anniversary…
  it just slipped out!

Who Is Driving This Macaca Car, In Virginia?

Wonkette vanity plate operative “Anna” sends us this picture from some road in Fairfax, Virginia, of a racial car. We would like to take credit for the inspiration here. Is this former Sen. George Allen’s car, and HE TOO has taken up the Satire game? Or maybe the kid Allen called a “macaca,” this is his car. The latter would make more sense, since the modest amount of celebrity that incident gave him would, according to our Wonkette Fame=Money Algorithm, leave him with just enough cash to purchase a Honda CR-V. Read more on Who Is Driving This Macaca Car, In Virginia?…
 

George Allen’s NCAA Tournament Bracket Is Somehow Funny

Former Virginia Sen. George “Macaca” Allen filled out an NCAA Tournament bracket, and it is pretty, and he will share it with the world! Allen, however, is incapable of performing even the simplest tasks without being comical. He predicts #5 seed Notre Dame will beat #12 George Mason, but that is way too politically risky for his already destroyed political career in Virginia. So he scribbles in the margin, “tho for George Mason,” so you know where his heart is. And for #7 Gonzaga versus #10 Davidson, he predicts Davidson, against all mathematical odds! To highlight this brilliant prophecy, he writes “upset pick” in the margin. It seems he’s using all this free time to finally pass the first grade. [Full-size here] Read more on George Allen’s NCAA Tournament Bracket Is Somehow Funny…
 

*MACACA!:* The big John McCain speech at CPAC — where conservatives might boo him — is being introduced by none other than America’s Racist, former Sen. George “Macaca” Allen.
 

George Allen Denies Us The Chance To Laugh Again

He was our greatest governor (of Virginia) and our greatest American senator. He loved the Confederate Flag, holding footballs, and terrorizing the Negroes. Also, he was photographed astride a horse, so he was obviously the new Ronald Reagan and was supposed to have an easy ride to the White House this year. But this legacy of greatness was destroyed by idiot liberals who had to make a big deal of his casual racism. And now George Allen is refusing to run for governor again next year. Thanks a lot, jerk. What are we supposed to write about in ’09 now? Allen Won’t Run For Va. Governor [Washington Post] Read more on George Allen Denies Us The Chance To Laugh Again…
 

George Allen Loves Same Internet That Destroyed Him

newVideoPlayer("George_Macaca_Allen.flv", 475, 376);Macaca and The Beard had a chat on CNN yesterday about Fred Thompson and the election. (Jesus, that was five of Wonkette’s least favorite people/things in the same sentence)! Anyway, The Beard also asked Macaca what he thinks about the Internet, which virally obliterated his political career last fall (ah, sweet memories). Macaca loves it though! And he loves the Guttenberg press! No love, however, for 18th-century pamphleteering, which was easily the peak of socially aware douchebag dissemination. Read more on George Allen Loves Same Internet That Destroyed Him…
 

Macaca Chairs Fred Thompson’s Virginia Campaign

The Fred Thompson team announced its two Virginia campaign chairs today. One of them you’ve heard of, and the other is also a douchebag. Probably. Some state politician. The top five funniest things in the Thompson campaign’s one-paragraph bio of George Allen: Read more on Macaca Chairs Fred Thompson’s Virginia Campaign…
 

Infamous Douchebag Coaches “Team Thompson”

George “Macaca” Allen, the former Virginia governor and senator famous for hating brown people, is helping out the Fred Thompson campaign, proving that when it comes to lazy, stupid ex-senators, things work better in pairs. Read more on Infamous Douchebag Coaches “Team Thompson”…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Face The Music

* Rahm Emmanuel wants Democrats to keep hangin’ tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin’ tough. [Election Central] * John Warner is definitely retiring – all hail the return of Macaca! [MyDD] * Pat Leahy calls “Nixon” on missing RNC emails. [C&L] * Everywhere Bush goes, documents just disappear. [Salon] * Hillary’s rap money tainted by Imus. [The Hillary Project] * Tony Blair is mad racist, son. [Guardian] * How biz-czar. [HuffPo] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Face The Music…
 

WaPo Calls a Macaca a Macaca

This is some sort of breakthrough: Former Virginia senator George Allen lost his reelection campaign after he lobbed an ethnic slur meaning monkey at an opposition campaign worker. That’s right, the Post has unambiguously declared “Macaca” to be an ethnic slur, only eight months — to the day! — after George Allen first used it. There’s not a “some say” or an “alleged” or a “what some call” to be seen. Read more on WaPo Calls a Macaca a Macaca…
 

Jim Webb Will Shoot You On Sight With His Unregistered Pistol

Aren’t you glad George Allen lost his senate seat for calling Jim Webb’s Indian guy a Tunisian monkey in Italian or something? Yes, Macaca George was a racist dingbat in love with a prop football and slavery, but he wasn’t a heavily armed lunatic. The emerging and evolving story of Webb’s aide being arrested and jailed for trying to sneak a loaded handgun and tons of ammo into the Russell Senate Office building is starting to sound like a hilarious outtake from “Pulp Fiction.” Yesterday we learned that Webb and his ninja gunmen had sacks of weapons when they showed up at National airport, so Webb was forced to leave his guns with the staffers for his flight to Beirut or wherever, and then there were guns everywhere and nobody was keeping track and next thing you know this former Marine has put one of Webb’s loaded semi-automatic pistols (or maybe even a Micro Uzi) in a briefcase — along with two fully loaded extra magazines — through the X-Ray machine and the Capitol cops lock him up. Read Webb’s delusional Conrad Burns-esque excuses, after the jump. Read more on Jim Webb Will Shoot You On Sight With His Unregistered Pistol…
 

Desperate George Allen Accepts Part-Time Work

Word on the street was that ex-Senator (but eternal Macaca) George Allen was one step away from having to hock his beloved football in order to keep his family solvent. Fortunately, he’s now been able to find part-time work at the bafflingly named “Young America’s Foundation,” which bought Ronald Reagan’s ranch and is turning it into a “schoolhouse for Reaganism,” which is clearly code for “cult compound.” Read more on Desperate George Allen Accepts Part-Time Work…
 

John McCain Endorses George Allen

Remember when George Allen was winning the war against Good & Evil, personally? How’d he ever sink so low? Well, at least WALNUTS! McCain remembers …. Hey, maybe Macaca could run as McCain’s veep! At least you know Allen hasn’t fathered any mulatto babies! Read more on John McCain Endorses George Allen…
 

Rejoice, White America: KKK Makes a Comeback!

Just a few months ago, ex-Senator George Allen’s love for the Confederacy and outrageous racism seemed almost quaint. Macaca was like a bridge to the mid-19th Century … with Robert Byrd standing on the other shore, resplendent in his Exalted Cyclops dunce cap and flowing robes. But the KKK is back and better than ever! Learn how an old worn-out racist movement can “re-brand” itself for a New Era in which the main threat to white Americans is a Mexican guy picking strawberries for $5 an hour … after the jump. Read more on Rejoice, White America: KKK Makes a Comeback!…
 

Wonkette Is 2007 Unity Candidate! (So Vote For Us)

While we lost the “Most Humorous Weblog” nomination to, uh, Gizmodo, we are honored to be nominated for “best weblog about the politics.” Every year through some mysterious process, people choose these nominees for the annual gala Bloggies event, which is held in outer space. Here’s how it works: You go to this site and vote for us. You can vote for other categories, too. (We don’t care.) But it’s really complicated, so we’ll give you very specific instructions, after the jump. Read more on Wonkette Is 2007 Unity Candidate! (So Vote For Us)…
 

Area Legislator Very Upset Over Redskins Season

The other day, Virginia state delegate Frank Hargrove upset a couple thin-skinned liberals by telling black people that slavery wasn’t so bad and that they should just get over it. Hargrove, to his credit, quickly realized his error — he’d only directly offended one ethnic group. He made up for that yesterday. Read more on Area Legislator Very Upset Over Redskins Season…
 

Happy Birthday To America’s Greatest President!

Relax, everybody! That stench in the nation’s air is just a natural annual response to the anniversary of Richard Milhouse Nixon’s glorious birth. RMN was unscrewed from his poor mother’s womb on this day in Nineteen Hundred and Thirteen. Join us after the jump for a fascinating look at this horrible little man who would be known as America’s Worst President if not for the grace of George W. Bush. Read more on Happy Birthday To America’s Greatest President!…